


got hands like the ocean

by apaixono



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Chen/Heize 4 lyf since sseomta y'all, Kim Brothers (EXO), M/M, Pining, group chats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 09:24:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 44,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13408263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apaixono/pseuds/apaixono
Summary: push me away, then pull me back in;Junmyeon is always the groomsman, never the groom. Kyungsoo wants love, but cannot commit. Will wedding bells ever ring for the both of them?





	got hands like the ocean

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Issues by Julia Michaels. I apologize in advance for this monster that took off to lengths I didn't know we're even going to, as well as all the typos and inaccuracies with geography and the Kim Bros' careers. Thank you as well to the mods for being so patient (sorry for the lateness of this fic!). Finally, this is my small tribute to my dino angel, Jjong. Rock those dino bowties in heaven, my love. Missing you everyday. ♥️

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

Junmyeon claps heartily as Jongin tenderly lifts up his bride Soojung’s veil to kiss her. The entire chapel whoops and cheers as the happy couple smile and wave at them, their rings winking in the fairy lights strung around the gazebo. Ah, weddings. He loves weddings so much. He loves the elegance and the solemnity of the ceremony, the flowers and the lights that make the day even more magical, and his personal favorite, the couple finally meeting after that long walk down the aisle. He loves how it’s a union of two lives and two families and two hearts, how it is the start of a journey to forever. He loves celebrating love with his friends, and most especially love _between_ his friends. Although he does hate his friend’s choice in bowties, as they are quite itchy, but he manages.

“Hey man, look, I got footage of Jongin crying as he read his vows.” Jongdae, his self-proclaimed best friend, snickers as he checks out his photo gallery while they wait for their turn for the photo op. “Oh, this is prime blackmail material.”

“I think it’s cute.” Junmyeon hums, a small smile on his face as he watches the now merged families pose for the camera. The Kim-Jung family is a large one, but somehow they’ve bonded so well that they look like one big family as early as now. “I love weddings.”

“Says the only single guy in our friend group.” Jongdae snorts, flicking through his phone disinterestedly. “Speaking of, so when will your own wedding be? Oh, wait—“

“Ah, hold that thought. Photo op time,” He says, effectively cutting his friend’s usual tirade short as they both stand up and make their way towards the altar to join the other members of the entourage. Groomsmen duties come first, questions about when he’ll get married later.

See, while he is certainly annoying about it, Jongdae has a point—well, sort of. Among his close friends that Jongdae fondly calls Kim Brothers, Junmyeon is the only one dreadfully single. Jongin is the first one to get married, and Minseok is having his wedding at the latter half of the year. Jongdae isn’t engaged yet, but he has a long-time girlfriend and a velvet box hiding inside his sock drawer, so that idea’s not far off. Junmyeon? Well, he has a dog named Byeol, a collection of cameras that he busts out every so often, and a cozy clinic filled with stuffed toys and cute Band-aids (he’s a pediatrician). That’s it. No partner, no hand to hold, no one to keep him warm at night. It doesn’t bother him much, but his friends are worried about him. They’re right about worrying, though. He’s almost thirty, he’s already done military service, he even has stocks and bonds (in this economy!), and yet he’s dreadfully single. Even with a handsome face and a cute dog and a black card, it’ll be hard to find love with a biological clock going tick tock tick tock at an awfully fast pace.

But in case his love for weddings isn’t enough proof, Junmyeon is a hopeless romantic. He believes in fate and destiny and soulmates and all that. He believes in waiting for ‘the one’ to come, and if it means waiting, then he has all day. Week. Month. Year. Hopefully not lifetime, but whatever. So there, sue him for not actively working on his love life. Anyway, he has learned to tune out his friends’ pleas for him to settle down, and has long been immune to the jabs of other people regarding his relationship status. Just like now, when Soojung pulls him in for a hug after photos are over.

“Oppa, I’m actually considering just personally handing my bouquet to you,” Soojung says, and the sad thing is that she’s probably only half-joking. “Seriously, no plus one?”

“You’ve been married to Jongin for half an hour and you’re already fighting his battles for him.” Junmyeon shoots back, earning him a jab on the side. “I’m kidding!”

“Well, I’m not. Oppa, you need to get out there and find true love. You’re not getting any younger, you know.” Soojung shakes her head at him. This is why he likes her: more than just a pretty face, she takes no shit and speaks her mind without hesitation if it means getting shit done. She’s almost the exact opposite of Jongin, who is as soft and cuddly as a teddy bear. “Hey, I have this friend that I’d like you to meet—“

“Soojung, please. This is your wedding! Don’t worry about single old me.” Junmyeon smiles at her, wrapping an arm around her waist and hugging her gently. “To soothe your worries, I’ll reinstall Tinder, okay? How does that sound?”

“Awful. Please don’t.” The latter elbows him again, and Junmyeon laughs as Jongin whisks her away to prepare for the reception, leaving his arms void of any brides. As usual.

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey Junmyeon, is this seat taken? Oh, wait, of course not.”

Junmyeon looks up to see another one of his close friends Minseok grin infuriatingly at him, fingers tapping the back of the empty seat beside him. Jongdae snorts and pops a grape into his mouth, and Jongin, who has momentarily taken refuge in the groomsmen table, stifles his laugh behind his wine glass. Gang’s all here, he supposes with a sigh.

“Great joke. Is that the something old in the ‘something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue’ wedding checklist?” Junmyeon asks, and Jongdae lets out a loud “ooooooooh” while Jongin slow claps at his jab. Scratch that, he has great friends.

“Uh huh. And maybe I’ll get a new best man for the something new part.” Minseok shoots back.

“Hey! Why does Junmyeon hyung get to be best man?” Jongin complains, because _of course_ they gloss over Minseok’s fantastic comeback and go straight to the big news. “I’m your favorite dongsaeng!”

“And I’m your road trip buddy! C’mon, hyung, we went to Jeju together!” Jongdae slams the table with his fist. “Pick me instead!”

“Okay, first of all, I wasn’t asking for volunteers,” Minseok says. “And second of all, I’m closest to Junmyeon. He was my high school and college batchmate, for one, and he’s an old family friend. Luhan thought it’ll be the wisest decision.”

“But he’s single!” Jongdae cries out, and Jongin nods profusely, like that’s a valid argument.

“Um, ouch?” Junmyeon pipes up, because while it’s true, the truth _does_ hurt, but the two wave him off and continue to bug Minseok.

“Hey, what’s with the ruckus?” Luhan, Minseok’s aforementioned fiancé, appears out of nowhere and plops on the empty seat beside Junmyeon, a full plate of desserts balanced on his dainty hands. “Oh, sorry Junmyeon, was this seat taken? Oh wait, of course not.”

“I can see why you two are engaged,” Junmyeon says dryly, and Luhan beams at him as he offers him a macaron.

“ _Anyway_. Honey, Jongdae and Jongin both want to oust Junmyeon as best man. What do you think? Should Junmyeon still be my best man?” Minseok asks, placing his hands on Luhan’s shoulders and squeezing gently. “I mean, we haven’t had the invites printed yet...”

“Oh, Junmyeon should still be your best man.” Luhan agrees around a mouthful of cake pop. Jongdae and Jongin both swear loudly, but the Chinese man pays them both no mind as he continues to inhale his desserts. “I mean, best men help out with wedding prep. Junmyeon has the most flexible working hours, and he lives nearest to us. His clinic is near the wedding organizer too, so in case of emergencies, we can ask him to run. It’ll be the most practical. Plus Junmyeon is highly efficient, and I value his creative input.”

“ _I’m_ highly efficient!” Jongdae cries. “And creative input? My latest hit was an all-kill! Top 1 in Melon for three weeks! Top 1 in Genie for four weeks! Nominated for Best OST in freaking MAMA!”

“And I have a car, if hyung’s vicinity was the only deciding factor.” Jongin adds. “Plus I have much more flexible working hours, I can dump the work on my partner.”

“Yeah, but Junmyeon—“ Minseok tries to reason his choice of best man (excellent choice, if Junmyeon can say so himself), but Luhan beats him to it.

“ _My_ best man is hot and we’re thinking of setting him up with Junmyeon,” The Chinese man says flatly. “Jongin, you just got married. Jongdae, you have a huge diamond ring hiding inside one of your awful argyle socks that was probably a wise decision because no one sane enough touches argyle socks. Also, you have a supermodel slash rapper for a girlfriend. Do _you_ both need me to set you up with a hot lawyer? No. Ergo, Junmyeon’s best man.”

“Gee, thanks,” Junmyeon says dryly as he sips his wine. “I was going to agree to be best man even without the hot date as a bribe, but now I think I’ll pass. Jongin, want to be Minseok’s best man?”

“Thanks, but I’m married.” Jongin grins, flashing his fancy schmancy wedding ring at them. “Speaking of, I should go to my wife. The couples dance is already starting, by the way.”

“Ooh, I wanna dance!” Luhan jumps up and tugs at Minseok’s wrist. “Come on, honey, let’s dance!” Minseok only shrugs helplessly before following his enthusiastic fiancé, waving at Junmyeon before disappearing into the crowd.

“Jongdae-yah!” A slightly deep woman’s voice calls out, and they both look up to see Jang Dahye power walk across the reception hall and into Jongdae’s outstretched arms like the true supermodel she is. “Oh babe, I’m sorry I’m so late, the shoot extended because the interns accidentally deleted some footage and we had to reshoot for the video teasers. And hello, Junmyeon!”

“Hey, Heize,” Junmyeon says, because he knows she prefers being called her stage name. Only Jongdae calls her by her real name. Future fiancé perks, he supposes. “The couples dance is ongoing.”

“Oh, I’d love to dance!” Heize brightens. “But can we pass by the food table afterwards? I’m hungry and that pasta looks so good.”

“Sure, babe. Oh, wait, I brought your sandals just in case you forgot to bring another pair after your shoot.” Jongdae produces a paper bag from under the table and helps her change out of her stilettos (how she didn’t hobble in them is beyond Junmyeon’s comprehension) and into these strappy contraptions that look good in theory but might need an expertise in rope work to wear. Jongdae, however, ties it up with ease; future fiancé duties, Junmyeon supposes, is to learn how to put on different kinds of footwear. Heize rewards him for his efforts with a kiss on the cheek before placing a hand on his proffered arm.

“And you, Junmyeon? No partner to dance with today?” She asks, but unlike the guys, she’s genuinely curious. Heize is nice. Heize doesn’t bug him about his love life. Junmyeon likes Heize the best out of the Kim-in-laws (again, Jongdae’s idea).

“Mm, you say that like I bring someone on other days.” Junmyeon shakes his head, chuckling lightly. “You go ahead. Have fun dancing.”

“I’ll let them bring you cake,” Jongdae says before gliding away with his fiancée to the dance floor, leaving Junmyeon with a half-empty wineglass and an empty table. As usual. With a soft sigh, he takes a sip of wine and watches all the couples dancing and swaying to the music a little forlornly. One day, he’ll have someone to hold and slow dance with as Michael Bublé plays in the background. Hell, one day he’s the one hosting the wedding where everyone will dance old love songs with their plus ones. But today, he will drink wine, eat cake (a server dropped off a huge slice while he was sulking), and drive home alone. As usual.

 

 

 

 

 

Every week, the four of them take time off their busy lives and soaring careers to gather together and just talk about life. Jongdae has fondly christened it as the Kim Brothers Weekly Meeting, and since one has a better idea, the name unfortunately stuck. This week’s KBWM (Junmyeon likes acronyms) is lunch at the Spanish bistro near Jongdae’s studio and the hospital where Junmyeon works, and they’re stuffing themselves with tapas and paella when Jongin suddenly segues away from their topic on Jongdae’s co-worker’s affinity for turkey bacon.

“So, Soojung mentioned something to me earlier this morning during breakfast,” The veterinarian says as he tries to pry a mussel open with his fork and spoon.

“Ugh, here he goes again with the ‘I’m married’ anecdotes.” Jongdae huffs. “Okay, we get it, you have a bombshell wife cooking breakfast for you. Some of us had a McMuffin, okay?”

“No one cares, dude. Anyway, Soojung mentioned that she has a friend from work that she can set up Junmyeon hyung with!” Jongin grins, clearly pleased at his wife’s contribution to Junmyeon’s love life. “She figures that Junmyeon hyung will be a little soft after the wedding, so he might be rushing to find love.”

“Yeah, no. I got a lot of patients, no time.” Junmyeon rolls his eyes, stabbing a poor mushroom rather vehemently. “Did she also tell you that I told her she was already fighting your battles thirty minutes after you got married? Because it’s been three weeks, and I see that she has completely taken things ito her own hands.”

“Hey!” Jongin protests, pouting, but no one comes up to his defense.

“But Junmyeon, seriously. You need to settle down, man.” Minseok places a hand on Junmyeon’s arm consolingly, ever the wise old man. “You’re not getting any younger, and if you keep waiting for the right one or for your schedule to clear up, whichever comes first, you’ll have time to date by the time you retire.”

“Yeah. You should at least try, you know?” Jongdae adds around a mouthful of rice. “You never know, your soulmate might be waiting for you to make the move, too.”

“Guys, I appreciate the sentiment, but I really don’t have time to hit up bars and try to pick someone up.” Junmyeon sighs. “And no, Jongin, I refuse to reinstall Tinder, no matter what I said to your wife during the photo ops.” The youngest promptly shuts his mouth.

“We could set you up on dates? Like Soojung suggested. We have lots of single friends that we could recommend,” Minseok says. “The music teacher at my school is Chinese, a dancer, and quite hot. Also notably single. I could hook you up on a date after exams.”

“Ooh, is this that Teacher Zhang I saw when I visited you? Man, what a fine piece of Chinese man.” Jongdae sighs dreamily. “If I wasn’t almost engaged, I’d tap that.”

“I don’t know, Minseok...” Junmyeon trails off, drumming his fingers on the table uncertainly, but Minseok holds up a hand.

“Just one date, Junmyeon. One date, and that’s it.” The history teacher urges. “If you don’t feel the sparks and all that after one date, it’s fine. But just give it a shot.”

Junmyeon opens his mouth to argue, but Minseok squeezes his wrist pleadingly, Jongdae nods at him reassuringly, and Jongin puts on his best puppy eyes, and his resolve crumbles. Damn it. Damn Jongin and his puppy eyes. “Just one date,” He grumbles, and all his friends whoop and pump their fists in celebration.

“To the revival of Junmyeon’s love life!” Jongdae cheers, raising his wine glass for a toast. Minseok and Jongin also raise their glasses happily, and Junmyeon shakes his head as he taps their glasses together, smiling ruefully. Oh, well. Wouldn’t hurt to try.

 

 

 

 

 

Roughly three weeks pass and yet Minseok still has not set him up with Yixing, mainly because it was midterm season and they had a lot of paperwork to tackle. He even brought a pile during the last KBWM, grading exams while everyone else feasted on sushi. Junmyeon doesn’t mind, really. He actually kind of hopes that the elder forgot about it already.

Sadly, he didn’t. On a lovely Thursday afternoon, just after Junmyeon made his rounds in the pediatric ward, his phone starts ringing. Muttering a quick apology to the nurse he was talking to, he pulls out his phone and answers the call. “Hello, Dr. Kim Junmyeon speaking.”

“Hey, are you free tonight?” Minseok asks in lieu of a greeting. Behind him, mindless chatter and heavy footfalls can be heard; it must be dismissal time for the kids.

“I’d love to go on a date with you, but aren’t you engaged?” Junmyeon teases, taking the clipboard from the nurse and perusing through it. He taps on a chart and motions for the nurse to bring him a pen.

“Couldn’t resist you and your charms, babe,” Minseok says flatly. “I’m setting you up for a dinner with Yixing tonight. How does seven sound? Think you’ll be out by then?”

Junmyeon pauses in scribbling on the chart. “I didn’t know you’re still pushing through with that.”

“I told you I’ll hook you guys up after exams. We were both preoccupied, okay? But now we’re a little free, and he said he’s good for a dinner with you.” The elder hums, the telltale whirring of a coffee machine sounding in the background. “There’s this mom-and-pop shop near the school that serves great sandwiches. I’m sure you’ll love it.”

“Minseok hyung...” Junmyeon starts to say, but Minseok cuts him off.

“You promised me one date, Junmyeon.” He reminds him. “You promised me you’ll try.”

Junmyeon sighs and rubs a hand across his face frustratedly. All he wants to do after his shift is change into sweats and put on a romcom, but he _did_ promise a date. “Fine.” He grumbles. “Text me the address.”

“Great! Enjoy your date, then! Tell me how it goes, okay?” Minseok chirps before abruptly hanging up, probably bouncing away to talk to Yixing. He’s soft like that. How he and Junmyeon are both nearing their thirties and yet look (and act) young is beyond anyone’s comprehension.

“Hot date tonight?” A teasing voice pipes up, and Junmyeon turns to see one of his fellow pediatricians and self-proclaimed best work friend Dr. Byun Baekhyun approach him, a bright green stethoscope on his neck and a cup of coffee in his hand.

“I don’t know. Minseok’s setting me up with his co-teacher.” He shrugs, handing the chart back to the nurse. “And you? Any plans on this lovely Thursday?”

“Nah. Double shift tonight, I’m covering for Sehun.” Baekhyun makes a face as he leans against the nurse’s station, sipping his drink. “He’s still out of town. And, well, you have a date tonight, so there. At least his residents are useful.”

“Mhm. You can have mine if you need the backup.” Junmyeon offers. “Or you can just go to the date for me.”

“Tempting, but no.” The smaller male grins at him. “Your shift’s over, go make yourself decent. Just because you don’t want to go doesn’t mean you should look shabby!”

Junmyeon looks down at his white doctor’s coat, pinstriped button down tucked into khaki pants, and shiny leather shoes before frowning at Baekhyun. “What’s wrong with how I look?” He asks, running a hand through his coiffed hair self-consciously.

“You just look very uptight. You might chase your date away,” Baekhyun says. “But anyway, if your charms and prince-like good looks doesn’t work, you can always bring out your black card.”

“Baekhyun.” He glares at his friend, who only laughs and holds up his free hand.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Now go get em, tiger. Traffic’s hellish outside.” Baekhyun waves him off, and Junmyeon barely resists the urge to flip him the bird before going to the parking area. Damn pediatricians and their supposed kid-friendly branding.

Minseok works and lives farthest from the rest of the Kim Brothers, a good hour away from Junmyeon’s workplace with moderate traffic. He is usually the one who drives down and meets them, but tonight is sadly not one of those nights. Junmyeon curses this fact as he exits the parking area only to encounter the tail end of Seoul rush hour traffic. If only he wasn’t a man of his word, he would’ve ditched this date just because of the traffic going to the café. Driving for more than an hour for sandwiches? He’ll pass, thanks. But a promise is a promise, so he sighs and braces himself for a long night of waiting on the road.

True to his estimate, it takes more than an hour to get to the café, just a few minutes before seven. It’s a nondescript building with white walls, sleek black fixtures, and huge glass windows, kind of like all the new coffee shops popping up in Gangnam. So much for a mom-and-pop shop, but at least there’s a parking space right in front of the entrance. Junmyeon parallel parks as quickly as he could (a bright orange convertible tried to steal his spot, and he briefly debated whether he should let him take it so he can go home) and sighs one last time as he turns the engine off. Well, that’s one hour of his precious free time wasted, and it’ll be a greater waste to stand this Yixing guy up. Might as well get things over with. Checking his reflection one last time—and no, he does _not_ look stuffy—Junmyeon hops out of his car and enters the café, hoping he’s not too early.

He’s not—at the far end of the café, a tall, muscular Chinese man is reading a hardbound book with so much concentration that Junmyeon feels bad interrupting him. He’s in a simple blue short-sleeved polo and slacks, thin horn-rimmed glasses slipping down his nose as he leafs through the page. Amusedly, he still has his SM High School lanyard on, which is how Junmyeon identified him. He’s handsome, all right, but when he looks up and meets Junmyeon’s eyes he feels nothing.

“Oh! Good evening, you must be Dr. Kim?” The man says pleasantly, placing a bookmark inside his book and closing it before standing up and offering a hand. His movements are graceful and fluid. “Sorry I got carried away with my reading. I’m Zhang Yixing, it’s nice to meet you. Minseok ge talks a lot about you.”

“All good things, I hope? And please, Junmyeon’s fine.” Junmyeon shakes his hand—no sparks, no warmth, nothing but Yixing’s slightly cold hand in his clammy one—and motions for the other to sit down. “Have you been waiting long? Sorry, traffic was awful.”

“I have, actually, but it wasn’t your fault. School ended early so I decided to go here early as well to catch up on my reading.” Yixing points to his book, and Junmyeon notices the half-empty glass of iced tea beside it. “Besides, Minseok hyung told me you came from the other side of town. I understand, and I really don’t mind. You’re actually pretty early, for someone who rushed here last minute.”

“Still, I’m sorry. Shall we order, then? You must be hungry.” Junmyeon motions for a waiter, and a small guy in a slightly wrinkled button down hands them huge laminated menus. “I think I’ll have a banh mi and Thai iced tea.”

“I’ll have a roasted chicken and mango wrap,” Yixing says with a dimpled smile, and the waiter actually blushes before scampering off with their orders. He turns this smile to Junmyeon, but unfortunately, he feels nothing. His hopes for this date working out after all slowly crumbles. “So Junmyeon, Minseok ge told me you’re a pediatrician?”

“I am,” Junmyeon replies, and offers a little bit of info about himself because even if his feelings are not cooperating, he wouldn’t turn down a new friend. He tells the latter about his neighborhood, his work, where he took his undergrad, and his dog Byeol. In turn, he finds out that Yixing is the same age as he is, also was a dance major, lives a few blocks away from him, and takes the bus every day. Over their sandwiches—Junmyeon’s not going to lie, they’re actually really great—they talk about the school production Yixing is directing, SM High’s choir’s upcoming competition, and how teenagers are so different from when they were in high school. Their teas slowly disappear as they laugh about Junmyeon’s patients, sporting twin grimaces at the horror tantrums the doctor has experienced. Children are a handful, teenagers even more so. They live sad lives.

Throughout the date, Junmyeon tries so hard to feel _something_. Interest? Attraction? Desperation, perhaps? But as he watches Yixing delicately dab at his lips with a tissue, he feels nothing. When their hands accidentally brush as they both reach for the pitcher of water, he feels nothing. When Yixing laughs at one of his lame jokes, he feels nothing. Call him clichéd, even a tad idealistic, but he knows that when he meets the one he’ll, well, know. He doesn’t have to fall in love at first sight, mind, but he’ll be at least a little bit interested. But he tries so hard, and he just couldn’t see Yixing walking down the aisle to meet him at the altar. Maybe clapping along the rest of the guests as his partner walks, but no, he’s not Junmyeon’s groom. Unfortunately. He didn’t have high hopes coming into this date, but a small part of him wishes Yixing was the one. The Chinese man is sweet, thoughtful, gentle, witty, funny, and talented. He has goals, he’s family-oriented, and he has a stable career. Plus he’s really handsome. Junmyeon could do so much worse, but not really better. But alas, his lonely heart is also quite fickle. Stubborn, too.

The date ends soon enough—they split the bill, to Yixing’s insistence—and Junmyeon drives them both home. He stops in front of a modest apartment complex, and offers a small smile at Yixing.

“I had a nice time. Thank you, Yixing,” He says genuinely. It’s true—while it wasn’t romantic, the latter’s company is comforting, his anecdotes entertaining, and their little meeting a nice break after a toxic day. “It was nice meeting you.”

“Likewise. Thank you for bringing me back, too.” Yixing smiles back at him and reaches over to squeeze his wrist. He doesn’t move to kiss or hug him. Perhaps he knew. “Drive home safely, okay?”

“I will. See you around, and good luck with that musical.” Junmyeon raises a fist and mouths, fighting! Yixing laughs and bows his head in thanks before hopping out of the car. With a final wave, he shuts the door and makes his way inside the apartment complex, disappearing behind fancy frosted glass doors. With a soft sigh, Junmyeon puts his car back to drive and makes his way back to his apartment. His cold, empty apartment, with nothing but his lovely self for company. As usual.

(When he gets home, Minseok texts him how it went. Junmyeon doesn’t have the heart to tell him the truth now, so he types _great, just tired from the long drive, see u tmrw!_ before locking his phone and tucks himself in his cold, empty bed that always feels too big for one.)

 

 

 

 

 

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” Baekhyun says, his long fingers scratching his puppy’s head absently. “He seems like a nice guy, though.”

“He is. Yixing’s like, the epitome of nice. We just didn’t click.” Junmyeon shrugs. They’re on their way to Jongin’s vet clinic, because Byeol needs a deworming booster shot, and Baekhyun’s adorable corgi Mongryeong has been pooping blood for two days now. Junmyeon is driving, while his fellow doctor is sitting at the back seat, Mongryeong on his lap and a snoozing Byeol leaning on his side.

“Can’t force love, hon. It’s a sad truth.” Baekhyun hums as they pull up to an empty parking spot in front of the clinic. “They’ll come around eventually.”

“I know. But that doesn’t mean my friends will be less annoying about it.” He sighs, leaning over to wake Byeol up and gather her into his arms. “I bet Jongin will give me shit about it later while working on Byeol.”

“They just care, Junmyeon. Let them be.” Baekhyun chuckles as he hops out of Junmyeon’s car, Mongryeong snug inside his carrier bag. “And really, as your closest colleague, even I’m a little worried that someone as good-looking and dreamy as you isn’t getting some. What more us mere mortals who don’t own penthouse condos and sports cars, right?”

Junmyeon rolls his eyes, ignoring Baekhyun’s teasing grin as they enter the clinic. The chimes signal their presence, and Jongin immediately pops out of the back office. “Hi, hyungs! Hello, Byeollie!” The veterinarian crouches as Byeol all but jumps out of Junmyeon’s arms to attack Jongin with kisses. “I take it Byeol’s due for a vaccine?”

“Yup. And she needs her ear checked, she’s been scratching it a lot recently,” Junmyeon says, not even bothered by his dog’s behavior. Byeol has always liked Jongin the best among her uncles. Jongdae is a little pissed about it.

“Sure, let’s work on that at the back. And you, Baekhyun hyung? What’s the problem with Mongryeong?” Jongin asks, scooping Byeol into his arms and scratching her head. The golden dog yips happily, making him smile.

“He’s been pooping blood for two days now. I’m a little worried,” Baekhyun explains, gesturing to the bulky pink diaper the corgi is wearing. “He didn’t eat anything aside from his usual food, so I don’t know what happened.”

“Oh, no. It might be a bacterial infection, but just to be sure, I’ll call on Chanyeol hyung to assist you while I check on Byeol,” Jongin says, and turns to Junmyeon. Weirdly enough, he has a determined yet a little mischievous glint in his eyes. “Junmyeon hyung, can you stay with Baekhyun hyung? Mongryeong might get a little fussy.”

“Uh... sure?” Junmyeon trails off uncertainly. “But uh, I’m sure Baekhyun could handle it. Byeol might need me.”

“Byeollie will be in very good hands. Now go accompany Baekhyun hyung.” Jongin waves him off. “Besides, Chanyeol hyung is very skilled. Tall, smart, and he just dyed his hair a nice shade of silver. Also has a great voice. He can handle you two just fine, but especially you, Junmyeon hyung.”

Called it. “Jongin, are you setting me up with Chanyeol?” Junmyeon raises a brow, and Baekhyun snorts. Even Mongryong lets out a low, pitiful whine.

“Maybe. Now be nice and wait here! I’ll get Chanyeol hyung!” Jongin winks before skipping away with Byeol to the back office, leaving the two doctors and Mongryeong gaping at him in disbelief.

“Well, you certainly weren’t kidding when you said Jongin’s going to give you shit,” Baekhyun remarks, snickering as they take a seat in the waiting area. “He’s not exactly subtle, isn’t he?”

“Clearly, you haven’t met Jongdae.” Junmyeon snorts as a tall, bowl-legged man in a powder blue polo and white jeans walks out of the other office, a clipboard on his hip. How he keeps his white jeans impeccable even working with animals is beyond Junmyeon; his white coat has already experienced one too many bleachings.

“Hi! I’m Dr. Park Chanyeol, nice to meet you.” The vet booms, and Junmyeon swears he felt Baekhyun swoon right there and then. Oh, right. He forgot that Baekhyun’s type is tall, dorky, and handsome. Match that with impeccably soft-looking black hair and a baritone voice and he’s sold. The feeling must be mutual, because when he looks up from his clipboard and meets Baekhyun’s eyes, Chanyeol turns a lovely shade of pink. “So um, I heard from Jongin that this little corgi’s sick?”

“Yes,” Baekhyun breathes out dreamily, and Junmyeon jabs him on the side to wake him up. “I mean! Yes, yes he’s been pooping blood for two days now. A little weak, too.”

“Oh, no. Poor baby. Come here, let me look at you.” Chanyeol coos at Mongryong as he takes the corgi into his arms. Junmyeon stifles a snicker as Baekhyun blushes a deep red when their arms brushed. The vet hands the clipboard to them and says, “I’ll just check on this little guy at the back. In the meantime, please fill out the forms for his record here at the clinic, Mr—“

“Baekhyun! Dr. Byun Baekhyun,” Baekhyun says. Bringing out the big guns with the ‘doctor’, huh. Baekhyun usually doesn’t mention it until the second date. “That’s my corgi, Mongryong.”

“What a cute name! Just right for a cute dog.” Chanyeol beams at the corgi. “And a cute dog for an equally cute owner, too.”

Damn, that was smooth. Baekhyun turns even redder, and Junmyeon stifles another laugh. “Uh, thanks?”

The vet winks (Junmyeon thinks it’s just an eye twitch, really) before moving back to the back office. Baekhyun all but squeals and hits Junmyeon on the thigh, _hard_.

“Um, ow?” Junmyeon winces, rubbing the spot where his friend hit him.

“You never told me your friend worked with a super hot doctor!” The latter accuses, then immediately freezes. “Oh no, he was the one Jongin wants to set you up with! Oh shit, Junmyeon, sorry I got carried away with my flirting, I—“

“He’s not my type,” He interrupts. “So go get em, tiger.”

Baekhyun visibly brightens, his face glowing and his eyes shining and even his blonde hair seems a little more iridescent. “I think I love you,” He says.

“No, you don’t. Now go fill up that form so you can go back there and flirt with the vet some more.” Junmyeon shakes his head, snickering. He knows he’ll get even more shit for it, but he didn’t feel anything when Chanyeol walked in. Sure, he’s handsome, but Junmyeon’s heart didn’t even skip a beat, his stomach didn’t even flip, he didn’t even do a double take or stares a little too long. Just goes to show he’s not the one. Besides, it’s been a while since Baekhyun has been this smitten. After a notoriously bad breakup with this Chinese martial artist, the doctor became a serial dater, oftentimes bleeding his dating apps and the local bars dry of single people to make out with so he can fill the void of loneliness in his heart. A little old-fashioned, fluffy romance will do Baekhyun good. Junmyeon considers it his good deed of the day.

When they leave the clinic, Byeol has a cone of shame, Mongryong has a ton of vitamins, and Baekhyun has a dinner date on Monday. And Junmyeon? Well, he has an unopened box of Golden Oreos in his cupboard and the newest episode of Riverdale downloaded on his laptop, so he counts his blessings and drives his friend home.

 

 

 

 

 

During the next KBWM, he surprisingly didn’t get shit for setting Baekhyun up. Jongin, however, is giving him the cold shoulder, says Junmyeon wasted all his efforts to ‘butter him up.’

“I said I was sorry,” Junmyeon says, leaning over to hug the youngest. Jongin merely huffs and twists his body away. “Jongin-ah...”

“I’m still mad at you. Give me ten minutes.” The youngest mutters, batting his arms away. “Minseok hyung, why aren’t you angry?”

“Because we can’t force love, Jongin,” Minseok says wisely. Spoken like the true eldest of the group. “Besides, Junmyeon just said he’ll try with Yixing, he didn’t say he’ll marry him or anything then suddenly backed out. Points for effort.”

“Thanks, teach,” Junmyeon says dryly, but he appreciates the sentiment all the same.

“Also, if Junmyeon wants to be extremely picky about his dates even at his level of loneliness, I can only do so much,” Minseok adds, and Junmyeon quickly withdraws the gratitude as Jongin and Jongdae snort with laughter. Never mind. His friends are evil.

“Look, it’s not my fault Chanyeol didn’t even spare me a glance when I went to the clinic because of Baekhyun,” Junmyeon explains with a soft sigh, stirring his drink absently. Jongin’s favorite Mexican place makes great virgin sangrias. “And as for Yixing, well, we just didn’t click. He’s great, but I didn’t see a future with him, even as short term as a second date. Sorry.”

“We’re just joking, Junmyeon. Don’t worry, we’ll find you true love.” Minseok smiles and reaches over to squeeze his wrist reassuringly. Jongin also leans against his shoulder, arms wrapped around his side. They love him, even if they annoy him most of the time.

“Yeah, until then you can just be the group’s token bachelor.” Jongdae pipes up, too far to snuggle with him but flashes him a cheesy finger heart anyway. “Besides, I haven’t set you up with someone yet.”

“Whoa, whoa, who said I’m letting you set me up with someone?” Junmyeon protests. “I told Minseok I’d go on _one_ date. Jongin just took the opportunity when I visited his clinic. Enough.”

“Yeah, but Minseok hyung and Jongin both got a chance to set you up. It’s only fair that I too try to revive your love life, yes?” Jongdae shrugs, sipping his whiskey. “Who knows, I might be the miracle you need.”

Junmyeon snorts, and Minseok rolls his eyes as Jongin snickers. “Jongdae hyung? A miracle maker? I think _you’re_ the one who needs it,” The youngest says.

“You know, we still don’t know how you even have a supermodel for a girlfriend.” Minseok points out, and they laugh louder. “Where’d you get _that_ miracle, Dae?”

“I told you, she was my classmate in college!” Jongdae cries, and the three of them double over in laughter. “I’m telling you all, Junmyeon will fall in love with _my_ recommendation, and you will eat your words.”

“Our words are my favorite exotic delicacy,” Jongin says, and everyone dissolves in another fit of giggles, much to Jongdae’s chagrin.

“Okay, okay. Seriously. Let’s give Jongdae a fair shot.” Minseok holds up a hand. “Let him set up Junmyeon on a date, and if he does fall in love with that person, I’m buying Jongdae that fancy French coffee press he has always wanted.”

The stakes are suddenly so high that everyone sobers up. A coffee machine worth almost five hundred thousand won, Junmyeon’s love life, _and_ bragging rights? When did this become so intense? “And what’s in it for me?” Junmyeon pipes up.

“A partner. Duh.” The eldest shrugs before turning to Jongdae. “So what do you say, Dae?”

Jongdae seems to think over the offer for a while, but he still ends up smiling and shaking Minseok’s outstretched hand. “Call. I can’t wait for my coffee press.”

“Don’t get so cocky, hyung. Your fate is in Junmyeon hyung’s extremely picky hands, after all.” Jongin hums, taking a sip of his own drink. “I have faith in your network, but not that.”

“Oh, I’ll give him an offer he can’t refuse.” Jongdae wiggles his eyebrows, and the glint in his eyes is so intense that Junmyeon almost chokes on his sangria. After all, what Jongdae wants, Jongdae gets, and he’s relentless in his pursuit for whatever he puts his mind into. Too bad Junmyeon is now dragged along for the ride.

 

 

 

 

 

Autumn in Seoul means harsh winds and colder nights, and that also means children are coming down with the flu and their asthmas are acting up _everywhere_. That also means Junmyeon and the rest of the pediatric ward are overworked to the bone, working double shifts and getting caught in a whirlwind of coughing and nebulizers. Junmyeon even misses two KBWMs (and consequently, Minseok’s kimchi jjigae) because he had to work the late night shifts. It’s a really busy time in the hospital, but it’s what he studied years for, so he sucks it up and gets to work.

On a relatively slow Tuesday, the first afternoon that he didn’t have to walk up and down the ER, Jongdae calls him and demands a coffee date at their favorite café a few blocks away from the hospital.

“But I miss you,” The music producer whines when Junmyeon says no. “We don’t see you anymore. I already forgot how you look like.”

“Jongdae, I’ve been absent in KBWMs for just _two_ weeks.” Junmyeon points out, but he’s smiling as he reads through a report on his desk. His friends are really clingy, sometimes. Jongin has already spammed his Kakaotalk with crying emojis yesterday, and earlier Minseok forwarded him relaxation tips and a feature article on overworking in his email. “But it’s nice to know that you care.”

“Hey, I do care!” Jongdae protests, and Junmyeon chuckles. “Come on, Junmyeon. You deserve a treat after all those deadly shifts.”

Junmyeon knows that it’s futile to argue with Jongdae because he’ll just insist and even go as far as drag him out of the clinic, so he sighs and closes the folder. “Fine, but you’re paying.”

“I’ll buy out the entire café for you,” The latter promises, and Junmyeon laughs as he moves to take his wallet and phone from his desk. He does miss his friends, but duty called and he couldn’t prioritize them. He makes a mental note to make it up to them next week as he nods at Baekhyun, who is nursing a big cup of green tea as he goes through a chart. The blond doctor waves him off and continues to squint at the papers in front of him, his glasses slightly fogging up. He has a problematic in-patient, and it’s eating up most of his time. His resident probably had to make that tea for him. Junmyeon silently thanks his lucky stars his patients are quiet, unproblematic cute kids as he exits the hospital.

Seoul is bitterly cold today, and Junmyeon regrets not bringing a scarf or an extra coat with him as he walks to the café. Doctors’ coats need to be thicker, really. Or lined with fur. Oh, but that’s not so practical, isn’t it? Junmyeon had a white fur sweater that shed so much he felt like a cat. That wouldn’t work with his patients with allergies. Insulated pockets, then? Or really, he should just bring a damn scarf. The news said that the winter this year will be colder, and he should really stock up on new scarves, and maybe gloves, or a—

Junmyeon stops in his tracks (and his pretty mindless monologue) a few feet away from the café because _wow_. Café Universe has a glass wall with frosted cut out designs fit for the weather Seoul is experiencing, and seated among the fallen leaves is the most beautiful man he has ever seen in his life. Round, doe eyes squinting at an iPad, short black hair falling artfully across his forehead, smooth round cheeks with beautifully tanned skin, a strong jaw accentuated by a maroon turtleneck, broad shoulders leaning against the café’s soft couches with impeccable posture, short legs crossed elegantly and disappearing under the table, and those lips—round, pink, and slightly heart-shaped even as they purse in thought. Junmyeon is a sucker for clichés and destiny and soulmates and everything romcoms perpetuate to the naive, single population, but _damn_ , he didn’t expect to fall in love at first sight. From behind a glass wall, no less.

The man must have sensed that someone is staring (read: unattractively gaping) at him, because his frown deepens and he looks up. Junmyeon takes it as his cue to hightail the fuck out of there, and in his panic he manages to walk two blocks before realizing that he had to go _inside_ the café. Where Jongdae is waiting. And also Cute Window Guy. _Damn it._ Junmyeon curses his luck as he turns and goes back to the café. This time, he pushes the door open and makes a beeline for the counter, where his friend is waiting in line.

“What took you so long? And why do you look so winded?” Jongdae asks when Junmyeon finally grabs his arm. “Don’t tell me you’re tired from all that walking? Junmyeon, it’s just five blocks away.”

_I walked a grand total of nine blocks because I was avoiding Cute Window Guy whom I ogled at from outside, thanks,_ Junmyeon wanted to say, but he just shrugs and brushes his hair out of his sweaty forehead. “Long story. What are you getting?”

“Vanilla cold brew in their biggest cup. Got a lot of problems at the office today, I think I’ll pull overtime again.” Jongdae mourns as they inch towards the counter. “Which reminds me, I know I promised bff quality time today, but I have to finish these reports so I brought my coworker along. Sorry. He’s pleasant, though! Just don’t mention anything about the upcoming SBS drama, because he’s working on the OST for that and he’s tired of it.”

“Duly noted,” Junmyeon says amusedly. He’s looking forward to that drama, but okay. “And I don’t mind, as long as this isn’t your miraculous recommendation, because I am really not in the mood right now.”

“Nope, I promise on my extra urgent reports on the sales of our talents,” Jongdae replies. Junmyeon forgot that aside from producing music, Jongdae also works on the marketing department of their record company. “I haven’t forgotten, though. Don’t worry. When awards season is over, I’ll get you your hot date.”

“Take your time.” Junmyeon snickers as they finally reach the counter. He orders for them both—Jongdae’s fancy coffee, a hot white mocha, and a slice of tiramisu crepe cake for them both—and bats away the latter’s hands as he hands his credit card to the server. He knows Jongdae promised to pay, but he lets himself treat his friend. Making up for lost time and all that.

“I told you I’ll pay,” Jongdae grumbles as they wait for their drinks at the side. “Jeez, Junmyeon, why don’t you get the concept of being treated?”

Junmyeon shrugs, smiling as he taps away on his phone. Baekhyun wants more caffeine, and he’s typing out a long text on the importance of water and regulated caffeine intake. “I like spoiling you guys. Let me have this as a way of atoning for my absences in our weekly meetings.”

“We’ve already disowned you from the Kim Brothers. You are now a Kim Cousin.” Jongdae shoots back, but he’s also smiling as he grabs their tray. “C’mon, let me introduce you to my coworker.” Junmyeon hums and follows his friend, who starts weaving through the growing crowd—

—and goes straight to Cute Window Guy’s table. _Shit_.

“Junmyeon, this is Doh Kyungsoo. He is a vocal coach and music producer at my company,” Jongdae says cheerfully as he places the tray down on the table. “Kyungsoo, this is one of my idiotic best friends, Dr. Kim Junmyeon.”

Cute Window Guy—Kyungsoo, Junmyeon’s mind corrects—looks up from his iPad and blinks at Junmyeon. It takes a while, the man squinting a little (Junmyeon’s doctor instincts think astigmatism), but he eventually quirks his lips up into a small smile as he stands up and bows. “Hello, it’s nice to meet you,” He says politely and _wow_ , his voice is so deep and velvety it makes Junmyeon’s knees weak.

“H-hi,” He stutters because he’s foolish like that, and quickly stumbles into the empty seat from across Kyungsoo before he could embarrass himself further. Oh, why does he have to be so dumb around cute guys?

Jongdae looks at him funnily, but he brushes it off and faces Kyungsoo. “So, how are the numbers?” He asks, casually sipping his iced coffee like it isn’t single digit weather outside.

“For Super Junior, fantastic. The VLIVE+ series really helped. For NCT, not so much.” Kyungsoo frowns at his screen, and Junmyeon watches with fascination as the two discuss digital sales and Music Bank wins and Soribada rankings and things he doesn’t understand. Normally he hates listening about Jongdae’s more technical work—he likes the music production part more—but he can’t help but feel mesmerized at the way Kyungsoo talks, how he enunciates each word perfectly in his deep voice, how each sentence sounds like an ASMR video to Junmyeon’s ears. Who knew discussions on Melon chart placement trends could sound so hot?

At one point Kyungsoo’s gaze flits to his direction, probably felt him staring again, and Junmyeon flushes red and promptly hides behind his coffee cup. However, the wide-eyed man simply shakes his head at his coworker and promptly locks his tablet. “How rude of us, discussing work while on a coffee break with your friend. Sorry, Junmyeon-ssi.”

“It’s fine,” Junmyeon says, and he mentally pats himself on the back for keeping his voice even. His name sounds so good when Kyungsoo is saying it. He wants to call his mother and thank her for giving him a beautiful name. “And, um, Junmyeon’s fine, too.” _You’re really fine. God help me_.

“Meh, Junmyeon doesn’t mind. He ditched us for work twice now, he can sit through a discussion about music charts for a few minutes.” Jongdae waves him off, and Junmyeon rolls his eyes at him. The former’s phone suddenly rings shrilly, the sound disturbing the otherwise serene café, and he quickly holds up a hand to excuse himself as he answers the phone. “Kim Jongdae, talk to me—YOU WHAT?” Without another word, Jongdae jumps up and storms out of the café to scream at his phone, leaving Junmyeon and Kyungsoo blinking confusedly at him.

“Must be the new hire,” Kyungsoo mutters under his breath as he takes a sip of his tea. Darjeeling, based on the smell. Junmyeon doesn’t really like tea, but opposites attract, he supposes as a slightly awkward silence settles around them.

“So,” He says slowly, desperately racking his brains for anything to fill the silence. “Jongdae tells me you’re, um, in charge of the OST for the newest SBS drama?”

Stupid, stupid, _stupid_. Jongdae specifically told him to _not_ bring it up, yet here he is, using it as small talk tangents. He could’ve talked about his age, or the college he graduated in, hell, even if he had pets. But no. Junmyeon had to go up to the cute guy he has already embarrassed himself a grand total of thrice today and put his foot in his mouth. This is why he’s single.

“Yes. The sageuk crossover drama with Ji Soo.” Kyungsoo nods, and he doesn’t seem so mad about it. “I’m one of the main producers for the OST, we’re trying to get as much big names as possible to match Goblin’s OST’s feat.”

“Oh, did you help produce that too?” Junmyeon asks, genuinely curious. Kyungsoo nods again. “That’s, um, cool. I loved Goblin.”

“I’m glad you liked it.” Kyungsoo bows his head slightly, and Junmyeon finds his politeness endearing. Almost like a reflex. However, that promptly ends their conversation, and they’re once again bathed in awkward silence. The latter takes a sip of tea again, and Junmyeon busies himself with inhaling his crepe cake as he desperately thinks of other topics to talk about. “So, um—“

Jongdae bursts into the café and all but zooms towards them, looking livid. “Kyungsoo, there’s a problem at the office. Footage is missing. We need to fix it, _now_ ,” He says angrily, grabbing his drink and taking a sip to calm himself. Jongdae then turns to Junmyeon, all tension gone from his expression and tone. “Oh Junmyeon, I’m really sorry, but—“

“Work comes first. I would know, I missed two dinners now because of it.” Junmyeon cuts him off, but not unkindly. He reaches over and squeezes his friend’s wrist to placate him. “Take it easy, okay?”

“I’ll try. I’ll see you next week, you can’t skip KBWM again!” Jongdae hugs him briefly before going back to gathering his stuff. “Go home early today, okay?”

“I’ll try. Good luck, and um, it was nice meeting you, Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon says, bowing his head at Kyungsoo.

“The pleasure is mine. We’ll go ahead, Junmyeon-ssi,” Kyungsoo replies, bowing a full bow one last time before disappearing with Jongdae into the cold afternoon, leaving the doctor with a racing heart that has nothing to do with the coffee he just drank.

 

 

 

 

 

“I think I’m in love.”

“Yeah, hyung, I think we’ve established that.” Jongin rolls his eyes as he pours milk into his coffee. This week’s KBWM is a quaint lunch at Jongin and Soojung’s lovely bungalow, the four men gorging on homemade pizza (because Soojung is a queen in the kitchen). “You’ve mentioned it like, what, four times since you got here?”

“Five,” Jongdae corrects, looking like a very smug chipmunk as he takes a bite of the salad Minseok brought with him (Luhan is dieting for the wedding and has coerced him to join). “And for that, Junmyeon, you’re welcome. Even if I have to cancel the dates on my shortlist for you.”

“I swear, I think he’s the one,” Junmyeon says, smiling a little goofily behind his mug of coffee. “You guys know that feeling when you meet someone and sparks just fly? Fireworks everywhere, fountains spring up, the orchestra plays, all that jazz? And your heart just threatens to burst out of your chest and the butterflies in your stomach go haywire? I felt that when I saw him. I swear, I fell so hard for Kyungsoo even before I got to sit down.”

“Or you just saw me,” Jongdae pipes up, and Minseok laughs so hard he almost snorts beer out of his nose. Jongin hides a snicker behind his coffee mug, and Soojung, who has just entered with the last of the pizza, almost drops the trays as her shoulders shake in silent laughter. Junmyeon pays them no mind as he sighs and continues smiling like the true lovesick dork he is.

“So what do you plan on doing next?” Minseok asks after he has finally stopped giggling. “Do you plan on asking him out on another date sometime soon?”

“Yeah, uh, that’s the thing.” Junmyeon quickly sobers up as he drums his fingers against his mug. “Uh, I may have forgotten to get his number?”

“YOU WHAT?” His four friends shriek, and they’re so synchronized it scares Junmyeon a little. Did they practice this?

“You fell in love and you didn’t even get his number? Email address? Twitter account? Hell, his fax number?” Soojung asks disbelievingly as she plops down beside Jongin on the love seat. She’s the Kim-in-law who hangs out with them the most often, especially when they’re roasting Junmyeon. She’s rightfully invested in his love life, and it’s just his luck that she’s the Kim-in-law with the sharpest wit and tongue (sorry, Luhan). “Oppa, pardon my French, but what the fuck?”

“I left you because I thought you could handle a bit of social interaction, not so you could make a fool out of yourself!” Jongdae all but screeches, clearly distressed. Junmyeon meeps and sinks lower in his seat. When Jongdae’s voice likens to that of a pterodactyl, shit’s about to go down. Never mind that he left because of a phone call.

“Why didn’t you get it, anyway?” Minseok asks patiently as he rubs comforting circles on Jongdae’s knee to calm him down. “I thought you fell in love or something. How could you continue your love story if you couldn’t take him out on another date?”

Junmyeon lets out a mournful sound and buries his face in his hands. “I wanted to, okay? But I just got so tongue-tied and flustered that I wasn’t able to segue it, and then Jongdae just whisks him away.”

“Oh _sorry_ , but unlike you, Dr. Kim, some of us mortals have limited coffee break hours,” Jongdae interjects tersely, and Minseok shushes him with his hand moving to scratch at his scalp. The music producer sighs and melts into the touch, like a cat. A fat, hissy cat. “Also, the new hire fucked up this sequence we were working on for Super Junior’s repackage album, so we had to rush back before he sabotages the entire comeback.”

“Plus we didn’t talk about anything. I didn’t even ask him how old was he. I just asked him if he’s in charge of Jisoo’s new drama.” Junmyeon adds, and Jongdae groans. “I know Jongdae explicitly told me not to mention it, but it was the first thing that came up to my mind! I was just an awkward, blubbering, staring fool.”

“Yes, hyung, we have established that you’re dumb. So what now?” Jongin asks around a mouthful of pizza. “What’s your game plan?”

The doctor lets out another pitiful whine. “I don’t know, Jongin. I seriously don’t know. I just know that I might be a teeny tiny bit in love with him, but I have no means of reaching him.”

“Jongdae could give you his number,” Minseok suggests helpfully, but Jongdae bats his hand away.

“ _No_. If he wanted it, he should’ve asked it from Kyungsoo himself.” The music producer huffs. “He can rely on fate or something, I’m not helping. You’ll have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands.”

“Jongdae...” Minseok warns, but Jongdae shakes his head vehemently.

“No, hyung. Junmyeon has already been too passive about his dating life. It’s high time he works for love,” He says resolutely. “Speaking of, I’ll be claiming my coffee press next week, thanks.”

“Uh uh, you didn’t set him up with Kyungsoo. You said so yourself, you had to cancel a shortlist. Junmyeon fell in love without your help, so bye bye, coffee press.” Minseok smirks, and Jongdae launches into a poorly constructed argument on how the eldest’s logic is flawed. Jongin interjects every so often, and Soojung just laughs at their antics.

And Junmyeon? He’s just curled up on the couch, worrying whether he’ll see Kyungsoo again. Fate brought them together once, it’ll make them meet again, right? He sure hopes so, because while he can easily afford Jongdae’s beloved coffee press, he’s not sure if he wants to bribe his friend to set them up. It feels more natural this way, meeting through serendipity. And by natural he means nerve-wracking, confusing, and extremely unsettling. But hey, he’s waited thirty years for the love of his life. He can wait for them to meet again. Or he can buy Jongdae a coffee press. At this point, he’s not picky anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon tries, he really does.

He’s fine waiting, but after a while he tries to give fate a helpful nudge. He starts frequenting Café Universe, he stalks Jongdae on all his social media accounts, he even goes as far as treating Jongdae out for coffee in hopes that he’ll bring Kyungsoo along (he doesn’t). He also tries going to the grocery, jog on a fine Saturday morning, and visit the bookstore because maybe fate wants another meet cute for them. But he sees no trace of Kyungsoo _anywhere_ , and the only proof that he exists is Jongdae texting him every so often and taunting Junmyeon with it. And really, it’s so unfair because he finally fell in love and now his soulmate—yeah, he’s into hyperboles now—is so out of reach that Junmyeon wants to cry. He doesn’t, but Baekhyun does pat his head consolingly before clocking out early (presumably to go on a date with Chanyeol). It’s like the universe giving him a taste of how being in love feels like then taking it away. _Sike, bitch, you a bachelor for life. Deal with it._ Fantastic.

Junmyeon tried, he really did. But he got tired, because humans get tired and the last time he checked he’s human, so he resigns himself to a life of loneliness and pours all his icky mushy feelings on his work (as usual) and being the best best man _ever_. The preparations for the Lu-Kim nuptials is on full swing, with the wedding being a month away, and Junmyeon lets himself get caught in it all as a little fuck you to the universe. Look at him, doing love stuff that the universe deprived him of experiencing. He may be an eternal bachelor, but he’s a brave, strong bachelor. And also a dumb one, because it’s hard to mope about being single _and_ be surrounded in all the wedding stuff. He’s half-convinced that the flower arrangements are mocking him.

Before he knows it, it’s Luhan and Minseok’s wedding day, and Junmyeon is clad in a white polo and dark blue slacks, matching blue bowtie still loose around his neck as he tries to calm Luhan down. The lawyer is having a mini mental breakdown—nothing serious, mind. He doesn’t want to back out, he has no doubts about their love, he’s perfectly sure of this big decision. He’s actually more scared of, well, minute things—fucking up his vows, tripping on the aisle, even saying the wrong name. Junmyeon is trying his best not to laugh or slap him. Really, Luhan is minutes away from marrying the love of his life and he’s worrying about _tripping_. Junmyeon is worried he will never get married, yet here he is, cool as a cucumber. A sad cucumber, that is.

“Luhan, how can you say the wrong name when you’ve been in love with the guy for more than six years?” He asks with all the patience he could muster, rubbing his hands up and down Luhan’s arms to calm him down. “And no, you won’t trip on the aisle, and no, you won’t mess up your vows. I had Yifan keep an extra copy in his pockets just in case you miraculously lose yours.”

(Yifan is Luhan’s aforementioned hot best man. They met earlier, and now the latter is enjoying a cup of coffee with a relatively calmer Minseok next door. Says placating grooms is not his style or whatever before seeking refuge in the bathroom for a good five minutes while Luhan bawls.)

“I know, I’m just—oh, Junmyeon, I’m just so happy and I’m so scared something will go wrong,” Luhan says tearfully, and Junmyeon shushes him as he dabs at the corner of his eyes with a napkin. “I know I’m overreacting, but I just really want this day to be as perfect as possible for Minseok, you know?”

No, he does not, for Junmyeon has yet to find a love like theirs. But still, he puts on his bravest smile and nods. “And as his best man, I can assure you that the only thing he needs to make this day perfect is you by his side. Okay? You got this, man.”

“Thank you, Junmyeon. Really.” Luhan sniffs and wraps his thin arms around his middle, hugging him tightly. “If Yifan were here, he’d just probably burst into tears, too. Never mind that date, he’s too emotionally unavailable. You deserve better.”

“Thanks, Han. Now want to go back people watching?” Junmyeon offers, drawing back the curtains. The grooms’ holding area have one-way mirrors for windows, so those inside can spy on the crowd below. They’ve been critiquing those who have already settled in earlier, partly because they can’t comment on how awful that dress is once the ceremony starts. Luhan nods, and together they stand and peek at the guests, giggling at some of the dresses and wincing at the mismatched suits. One of the funny-looking guests seems drunk as he gestures with his wine glass, his purple and yellow dotted bowtie visible even from the third floor. He is talking to a short young man with a shaved head who is simply nodding along to whatever the funny man is saying. He looks awfully familiar, Junmyeon thinks with a frown. It’s too far to make out the man’s exact features, but he seems to have round eyes, plump cheeks, broad shoulders, and—

The man throws his head back and laughs, showing an incredibly familiar heart-shaped smile. Junmyeon’s heart skips a beat as he presses his face closer to the window, wanting to see if he’s right.

“Oh, is that Kyungsoo? I’m glad he made it, he said he was busy,” Luhan hums as he surveys the crowd. Junmyeon hears his neck pop at the speed that he turns to face the latter, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Y-you know Doh Kyungsoo?” He asks, voice shaking a little.

“Um, yeah? He was part of the same acting guild I joined in college, and I was his mentor for their major production.” Luhan blinks at him, confused. “Why? Do you know him?”

_He’s the love of my life, and I’ve been looking for him everywhere,_ Junmyeon wants to scream, but instead he takes a deep breath and smiles. “Yeah, Jongdae introduced us once. He’s cool.”

“He is, isn’t he? And—oh, look, that’s my cousin!” The Chinese man turns away from him to gaze at the crowd, ignoring Junmyeon and his inner turmoil. Kyungsoo is here, at the wedding. Where Junmyeon is the best man. Is this fate bringing them back together again? Will he finally get another shot at happily ever after? Or is this an elaborate prank orchestrated by his friends and the universe?

 

 

 

 

 

Remember Junmyeon’s goal to be the best best man ever? Yeah, he might want to change short-term goals because right now, he’s not doing a very good job. Not that he messed up or anything, but because he’s so horribly distracted by Kyungsoo’s presence. The man is short, yet he stands out from the corner of Junmyeon’s eye as he walks down the aisle with Yifan (seventh row, third seat). His chestnut head is hard to miss every time Junmyeon turns to talk to Jongdae, who is seated right beside him. It also doesn’t help that his friends are just as excited (and clueless) as he is—Jongdae almost squealed when he saw him, and Jongin kept gaping at Kyungsoo’s general direction. Even Minseok’s eyes widened when Junmyeon muttered it to him a few moments before Luhan arrived. Junmyeon is so distracted he didn’t pay much attention to Luhan’s vows (he was the only one not crying), and he almost missed his cue to clap when the pastor declared them husbands, busy trying to discreetly get a glimpse of the other man. (He makes up for it by tossing Minseok in the air in time for the wacky photo ops.)

Because the universe has a shitty sense of humor, Kyungsoo disappears during the reception. No matter how Junmyeon cranes his neck or surveys the ballroom, the man is gone. He wasn’t in the queue for the buffet, he wasn’t in the open bar waiting for a cocktail, and he certainly wasn’t dancing with the uncles in front. One would think he’d have a great view from the frontmost tables, where all the groomsmen were gathered, but Junmyeon can barely see from the tops of people’s heads and the elaborate floral centerpieces. To be fair, even Jongin couldn’t find him, and Jongdae is close to calling him just so Junmyeon will stop fidgeting.

“Look, I’ll just call him, he can go up to us and you can finally talk to him. I’ll be as subtle as possible, I swear.” Jongdae holds up his phone, but Junmyeon shakes his head as he pulls out his best man speech from his pocket.

“Don’t bother, Dae. I think this is the universe telling me to give up.” He sighs as Yifan motions for him to go in front for their speeches. “Anyway, I’ll just give my speech. Meet you guys at the bar afterwards?”

“Sure, hyung.” Jongin nods, but his eyes are sad. Junmyeon pays him no mind as he approaches the mic and reads off his speech. Like a true best man, his speech is riddled with funny and embarrassing anecdotes of Minseok, mostly from college. He even told them about when Minseok and Luhan were pining for each other without knowing for two whole years, which made the two groan and hide their blushes behind their hands.

“Minseok and Luhan, I’m glad you transitioned from the two most oblivious men in the world to the most domestic couple we all know. We’ve seen you grow as people and as a couple with each passing day you spend with each other, and we could not imagine you both ending up with other people. You complement each other so well, like cogs in a well-oiled machine, and as your friend, it makes me glad to see you two take the jump to forever, together.” Junmyeon swallows the lump in his throat, putting on his bravest, widest smile as he raises his glass for a toast. “We single people only dream to have a love like yours. So treasure it, and please don’t throw the bouquet at my face later. Cheers to forever!”

Everyone cheers and drinks from their glasses, and the happy couple pulls him into a tearful hug. Junmyeon pats their backs consolingly, laughing at Luhan’s swollen face before carefully stepping away and moving towards the bar while Yifan gives his speech. Jongdae welcomes him with a glass of white wine and a sympathetic smile.

“You okay?” He asks, a mojito in one hand and a margarita in the other. Must be for Heize.

“Yeah.” No, he isn’t. Giving the speech for the couple made him realize how utterly _lonely_ he is. It’s true that he dreams of a love like theirs—and it’s also a sad truth that for him, it might only be just a dream. The feelings of loneliness and melancholy that he has tried so hard to repress and displace for the past few weeks wash over him like a tidal wave, and surrounded by many symbols of love, he just feels so alone. “I’ll, uh, just take a breather outside. I’ll go to you guys after.”

Jongdae, bless his soul, understands and just smiles gently. “Sure, take your time. We’re at table 4.” He claps his shoulder before making his way to his girlfriend. Junmyeon sighs and makes his way to the balcony. He just hopes no one’s there. He’s in the mood to brood, not for a conversation.

Bad news: there’s already someone leaning against the railing of the relatively tiny balcony, nursing his own glass of wine (his is red, though), so there goes Junmyeon’s plan of brooding in peace.

Good news: the man is short but well-built, his head shaved and his shoulders broad. When he turns at the creak of the door, Junmyeon is greeted by soft, round cheeks that are pink from the cold, round eyes behind horn-rimmed glasses, and _awfully familiar_ heart-shaped lips that slowly curve into a smile.

( _You’re welcome_ , says the universe, probably smirking down at them. Smug little thing.)

“Junmyeon-ssi,” Kyungsoo says, still smiling widely as he bows his head. “Hello. I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m Jongdae’s coworker—“

“Kyungsoo.” Junmyeon finishes for him, his heart pounding so loudly in his ears that he can barely hear himself talk. “Of course. Hi, it’s great to see you again.”

“You too. Great best man speech.” The latter shuffles a bit to make room for Junmyeon near the railing. _He listened to my speech._ Junmyeon is trying very hard not to swoon. “What are you doing out here?”

“Oh, uh, just needed a breather.” He shrugs, trying to be cool and suave (or at least not a nervous wreck) as he takes a sip of wine. “And you?”

“Same. It’s kind of stuffy in there, you know? I love them, don’t get me wrong, but jeez, all that love shoved up in my face—blegh. Excuse me for being single.” Kyungsoo makes a face as he swirls his wine absently. Junmyeon’s heart quickens even more, as if it wasn’t threatening to leap out of his ribcage at any moment. So Kyungsoo’s single. Guess the universe isn’t _that_ cruel after all.

“No plus one?” Junmyeon asks, just to be safe.

“Nope. Just me and this lovely red,” The latter says, smiling wryly as he takes a delicate sip. “And you, now that you’re here.”

Be still, his heart.

“So Jongdae tells me you’re a doctor?” Kyungsoo continues, and Junmyeon silently thanks the heavens because if not for that segue, he would’ve fainted.

“Yes. I’m a pediatrician,” Junmyeon replies, preening a little at Kyungsoo’s pleased smile. “I specialize in respiratory pediatrics.”

“Oh, wow! That’s so cool!” Kyungsoo says excitedly, and the shine in his eyes is so endearing. “I’ve always loved children, but I don’t trust myself with them. Besides, I have oversized babies to oversee myself.”

“Oh, you’re a vocal coach, right?” He asks. “Jongdae just told me you’re working on the newest SBS drama’s OST. And also not to bring said drama up because you’re sick of it. Sorry for that, by the way.”

“It’s fine, I didn’t mind. And yes, I sometimes do vocal coaching, but I’m mainly in music production with Jongdae. My specialty just happens to be OSTs, and sometimes I help out in producing entire OSTs for TV networks in exchange for our talents getting a song or two,” Kyungsoo explains. “Technically I’m in a contract with SM, but since I get gigs for talents, they allow me to work on side projects.”

“That’s so cool,” Junmyeon breathes, completely enthralled. Kyungsoo can make anything sound cool, let’s be honest. He can tell him he’s a cockroach breeder and Junmyeon will be so impressed. A little grossed out, but still quite impressed. “You made my job sound so...meh.”

“Oh, please. I just make songs, you save lives. My work doesn’t hold a candle to yours.” Kyungsoo ducks his head bashfully and gosh, he is so endearing it’s terrifying. Grown men shouldn’t be this cute. Also, Junmyeon’s heart shouldn’t beat this fast at this age, it’s dangerous. He quickly racks his brain for any conversation tangents, and—

“I like Crying Out,” He blurts out. Wow, that came out of nowhere, but if they’re giving away compliments, he’s definitely not going to be stingy. “From uh, Cart. The movie? Jongdae said your company handled that.”

He didn’t know it was possible, but Kyungsoo blushes and bursts out laughing, shaking his cute chestnut head. “You didn’t have to pick the song I wrote to compliment me back, you know.” He chuckles.

“What? Wait no—“ Flustered, Junmyeon quickly raises his hands, and his wine almost sloshes out of his glass. “I didn’t know you wrote that, but I really liked it! Ask Jongdae, I couldn’t stop singing it for _weeks_. I promise!”

Kyungsoo is still laughing, but he reaches over and gently takes Junmyeon’s wrist, slowly pulling it back down so as to avoid him spilling wine all over himself. His fingers are warm, and his touch sends jolts of electricity down his spine. “Okay, I believe you. Thank you, it’s an honor to know that my work is your favorite.” He smiles at him, his heart-shaped lips stretched wide over white teeth, and Junmyeon blushes even redder. They stay like that for a while: staring at each other, Kyungsoo’s fingers cool on Junmyeon’s skin, the cold air nipping their faces, the moon making the latter’s eyes shine a little brighter. Behind them, the reception is in full swing with the dramatic love songs, and below them, the hotel garden is lit up with fairy lights. It’s such a romantic setup, and an even more romantic moment, and—

The balcony door slams open and they jump apart just as Jongin barges in. “Junmyeon hyung! There you are, I’ve been—“ The man immediately stops when he sees Kyungsoo, and his eyebrows fly up. “Oh. Um, hi.”

“Hello,” Kyungsoo says, bowing his head slightly. Junmyeon hopes Jongin doesn’t say anything, or embarrass him, or give the latter an inkling that he has a huge schoolboy crush on him, because he can’t afford to embarrass himself further tonight. Thankfully, Jongin only smiles at Kyungsoo shyly before turning to Junmyeon, his eyes twinkling a little. “So um, when you’re done here, go inside. Luhan hyung’s throwing the bouquet soon and he insists that you both are there. Hyung, he also insists that he wouldn’t throw it at your face, but he cannot promise that he wouldn’t aim for you either.”

Junmyeon sighs. Good old Luhan. “We’ll go back in a while. Need to prepare myself for Luhan’s floral attack,” He says, and Kyungsoo snorts from behind his wine glass.

“That’ll be wise, I think.” Jongin chuckles, and nods at Kyungsoo before going back to the party.

“Your friends are something,” Kyungsoo remarks, amused.

“They are. You would know, you’re friends with Jongdae,” Junmyeon replies, earning him a bright, musical laugh.

“True. But I think we’ll never be friends if people kept interrupting our conversations, you know?” The latter shrugs, smiling. “First at the café, now here at the wedding. Will we never progress from small talk about work?”

Is Kyungsoo implying that they should take this conversation further? Is he hinting that he wants to get to know Junmyeon further? Is he subliminally asking him out for a date? Oh, Junmyeon can’t take this.

“We could, um, continue this over coffee?” He says hesitantly, fingers drumming against the stem of the wine glass. “Or brunch? Maybe next Sunday?”

“Brunch sounds nice, actually. And Sunday’s good for me.” Kyungsoo pulls out his wallet and takes out a business card. “Here’s my card. The handwritten one is my personal number, but I can reply using my work one too.”

“Oh, uh, thanks.” Junmyeon takes the card (he puts his glass down and gets it with two hands, because he has impeccable manners—take note, Kyungsoo!) and thumbs through the print, the embossed numbers of Kyungsoo’s handwriting oddly comforting against his skin. “I forgot my own card, so um—“

“Oh, that’s okay. I only carry them around in case I need to network,” Kyungsoo says, pulling out his phone and handing it to him. “Here, why don’t you just enter your number on my phone?”

Smooth. Real smooth. If he keeps this up, Junmyeon will be a walking melted puddle of goo in no time. With slightly shaking hands, he types in his number and saves it under ‘Dr. Kim Junmyeon.’ Quite formal, but Kyungsoo seems like the type to have very orderly contacts. He hands it back with a small smile, and Kyungsoo quickly types something before stowing it back inside his pocket. A moment later, Junmyeon’s own pocket buzzes.

“I texted you so you can save my number.” He smiles. Gosh, is he really this smiley? It’s so not good for Junmyeon’s health. “I’m looking forward to brunch.”

“Me too.” Junmyeon’s smile widens, and they stay like that again for a few more seconds until he realizes that crap, Luhan is looking for them. “Uh, we’d better go. Luhan might be throwing a fit now as we speak.”

“Most probably. Good luck,” Kyungsoo chuckles, and with a final squeeze of his wrist and a heart-stopping smile, he turns to go back to the reception first.

Junmyeon stares down at the card in his hands disbelievingly. Do Kyungsoo, music producer. His brunch date next week. From Cute Window Guy to someone he’ll be sharing a meal and anecdotes with. From the guy who made him feel lonely for a good six weeks to the guy who chased the post-wedding single blues away with a smile. Guess the universe _does_ have a wicked sense of humor.

(When he reenters the ballroom, Luhan all but throws the bouquet at him. He catches it with one hand, mostly out of panic that he might drop his wine glass. Everyone cheers and claps, and as he is jostled by his friends Junmyeon meets Kyungsoo’s eye from across the room. The man laughs and claps, mouthing ‘Congratulations!’ He flushes a deep red and tosses the bouquet to Heize, much to Jongdae’s chagrin.)

 

 

 

 

 

Between post-wedding festivities (including a KBWM just for a raffle of the wedding gifts Minseok and Luhan didn’t like—Junmyeon got stained glass angels that Luhan dubbed as ‘old couple Christmas decor’ and a set of dino mittens), extra shifts at the hospital, and Baekhyun dragging him to third wheel on his date with Chanyeol, a week flew by so easily, and before he even knew it Junmyeon is already rushing to his car bright and early on a Sunday, hastily smoothing down the white button down he threw on and prays that it doesn’t look that bad. He barely slept last night, an emergency popping up right when he was tugging off his coat inside his car, and he almost slept in if not for the alarm he thankfully had the foresight to set before he crashed onto his bed. So here he is, almost late on his first date with his potential soulmate in a slightly wrinkled white button down, black jeans, and—

He looks down at his feet. Instead of the black leather shoes he set out the night before, white swooshes stare back at him. He forgot to change out of his black slip-on sandals. Junmyeon wants to cry, or turn back and put on some trainers, but he is almost at the restaurant and traffic is starting to build up. He’ll be late if he didn’t step on it, and even later if he went back. _Damn it._

The universe takes pity on him and he finds a parking space right in front of the restaurant with one minute left to spare. Taking a deep breath to steady his erratic pulse, Junmyeon gives his reflection one last check before stepping out of the car, the door chimes tinkling happily as the clock strikes eleven. He scans the restaurant until he sees a familiar chestnut head sitting near the window, of all places. So much for calming his heart, he thinks as he walks towards his date for today, his heart pounding with each step.

“Hey, have you been waiting long?” Junmyeon asks as he takes a seat in front of the man, who looks up at him and smiles. _It’s way too early for a heart attack, and yet here he is._

“No, you’re just in time. You look winded, are you all right?” Kyungsoo replies, closing the book that he was reading. The latter takes in his slightly disheveled look, down to his slippers, and Junmyeon flushes in embarrassment.

“Y-yeah. Almost slept in, there was a problem with one of my patients last night and I got back home late. I, um, didn’t want to be late so I kind of rushed here.” He admits, fumbling with the edges of the menu. “Sorry, I’m not normally this unkempt, I swear.”

“Nonsense. You look fine.” Kyungsoo assures him, even if he looks incredibly put together in his dark blue sweater and jeans. “Shall we order, then?”

Junmyeon nods wordlessly and scans the menu, not sure what to eat. In the end he orders an iced Americano and breakfast gnocchi (whatever that is), and after Kyungsoo rattles off his orders (Thai iced tea, pancakes, and extra bacon) the server leaves them to stare at each other blankly, at a loss for words. Well, Junmyeon is. Kyungsoo is still leafing through the menu, looking at smoothie bowls.

“So, um, how was your week?” He pipes up in what he deems is an extremely pathetic way to salvage the conversation.

“A little dull. The sound engineers I’m working with are on leave, so my OST work is technically put on hold. The trainees are also on spring break or whatever. I’ve been bored all week, to be honest.” Kyungsoo sighs, closing the menu. “You’re my first decent human interaction all week.”

Second heart attack of the morning, and they’ve been together for a grand total of seven minutes. Being with Kyungsoo will be the death of him. “Jongdae doesn’t count?” Junmyeon asks.

“No. He’s been singing Disney songs in between making year end marketing reports. It’s a miracle I haven’t thrown something heavy at him yet, although I did throw him a pencil. Or two.” Kyungsoo frowns, and Junmyeon snorts behind his glass of water that the waiter dropped off when he got their orders. Typical stressed Jongdae. “What about you? How was your week?”

“Extremely busy. There are a lot of patients under my care at the moment, so it’s kind of tiring.” Junmyeon shrugs. “I mean, I love my job, but being on-call can be a little taxing.”

“Oh, you mentioned an emergency last night, right? What happened?” Kyungsoo asks, frown deepening.

“Ah, this patient I’m supervising had an allergic reaction to one of the drugs that a resident prescribed back in the ER. He was Baekhyun’s resident so he didn’t need to follow me, but I _did_ advise it to be risky. Still, he was Baekhyun’s reliever, so he called the shots, so—“ He stops mid-sentence, faltering at the latter’s furrowed brow. Whoops, he must’ve overshared. “Um, sorry, you probably wanted the abridged version.”

“No, no, do go on.” Kyungsoo waves him off, clearly invested in the story. “So what happened? Is the patient okay?”

“Uh, yeah. After the patient reacted negatively they didn’t know what to do, so Baekhyun told me to check on the patient instead. Long story short, she’s okay but she’ll need to stay at the hospital a little longer.” Junmyeon shrugs. “Sorry I got carried away with the story, I probably lost you somewhere.”

“No, don’t worry. I found it interesting.” Kyungsoo shakes his head, smiling slightly. “I like children, and hearing these stories make me happy. Can you tell me more about your patients? Do you have a favorite?”

Junmyeon blinks. He never gets to talk about his work. His friends ask about it from time to time, but Jongdae is too queasy and Minseok doesn’t like hearing sad stories so he only talks about the s babies. Jongin sometimes talks to him about work, being in the medical field as well, but it’s different and he doesn’t get it sometimes, even though puppies and children are quite alike. Baekhyun doesn’t like talking about work outside of work, says he’s already stressed enough. Junmyeon loves his work, loves the excitement and the monotony and the cute children, but he has never found anyone who’s interested enough to listen—until Kyungsoo, that is. The man was absolutely enthralled with his story, as mildly disturbing as it was, his eyes wide with interest. He even leaned forward to hear him better. His interest isn’t just him coddling Junmyeon, or making small talk. He really wanted to listen, and he enjoyed every minute of it.

Could Kyungsoo get any more perfect?

“Yeah, I do. His name’s Minhyung and he’s the cutest little thing.” Junmyeon finds himself smiling as he talks about the lanky 8 year-old that loves to dance and do sports but also has horrible asthma. Every summer and winter he gets confined due to intense weather changes, and Junmyeon always finds the time to drop by his room and talk to him about basketball or his dance classes. Last time he checked, Minhyung is now interested in songwriting, and he has written a few raps on his own. He sometimes wishes the boy could do swimming instead, as it helps with respiratory problems, but he supposes something less active like composing could be okay as well. Junmyeon also tells him about his other regulars, like little Jisung who wants to be a doctor like him, and Jeno whose only Christmas wish is for a bunny (but he’s allergic to fur), and Yeri who once brought him Girl Scout cookies that she personally made because he made her “ah-choos” go away.

In turn, Kyungsoo walks him through the process of making an OST while they eat. He first reads the barebones script of the drama to get a feel of the scenes, then he writes the lyrics. Sometimes he has to watch the scene before writing, sometimes he composes first before checking the scenes whether it can be used. After he makes sure that the song is usable, he then scouts for talents, mostly from their company. If he’s involved in the scoring, he then helps edit footage—the most tedious of them all, and the reason why he gets sick of his songs sometimes. Over dessert (a slice of tiramisu that he insists on splitting between them), Kyungsoo also shares about his favorite dramas. He likes action, historical, and family-centric dramas more, contrary to Junmyeon who lives off romcoms of all kinds. His favorite actress is Gong Hyojin, and he looks up the most to Jo Insung.

Conversation with Kyungsoo is easy, almost like they’ve been friends for a long time. There are still awkward pauses in between, courtesy mostly of Junmyeon, but it’s not that bad for someone who’s only on their third meeting. Kyungsoo seems genuinely interested in Junmyeon’s stories, and in turn is willing to share his own life. He laughs politely even at Junmyeon’s awful jokes, and sometimes he even blesses him with his full laughter that makes his eyes scrunch up and his smile become a huge heart that takes Junmyeon’s breath away. He still slips back to formal language from time to time, especially after he found out that Junmyeon is one year older than him, but after Junmyeon correcting him multiple times to “drop the honorifics, Jongdae doesn’t even call me hyung,” Kyungsoo has grown comfortable enough to talk casually to him. From being complete strangers to actual friends, from briefly meeting for a good ten minutes before disappearing for six weeks to someone who Junmyeon willingly woke up at 9AM for and spent almost two hours with just talking, from Cute Window Guy to Doh Kyungsoo, music producer and vocal coach and his _friend_ , from the stranger he thought was cute to his dinner date at the new sushi place in Myeongdong on Wednesday (Kyungsoo’s idea, he wanted to try it and Junmyeon wasn’t dumb to not seize the opportunity). How all that happened is way beyond Junmyeon, but he’s content to just sit back and enjoy the ride. Maybe this could be the plot twist that he’s looking for, has been waiting for all his life. He’s not keeping his hopes up, but he’s not squashing the possibility down either.

They eventually part ways with huge smiles, Kyungsoo politely refusing Junmyeon’s offer to drive him back home one last time, and Junmyeon watches the latter disappear into the busy Sunday crowd as he makes his way to the subway station. As if on cue, Junmyeon’s phone buzzes with his Kakaotalk notifications, most probably from his friends. They’re probably stalking him or something.

 

> _Group:_ **KIM BROS RULEZ!!!**
> 
> **jongdaerulez** : OY KIM SPILL THE BEANS WHAT’S TAKING U SO LONG  
>  **minseokkim** : no beans to spill 4 me  
>  **jongnini** : same lol  
>  **jongdaerulez** : fuck off kims  
>  **jongdaerulez** : JUNMYEON ANSWER US YA LIL SHIT  
>  **jongdaerulez** : BROS BEFORE HOES  
>  **jongnini** : yeah hyung we’ve been waiting all day!!! ㅂ3ㅂ  
>  **minseokkim** : updates please!!!!!!!!!  
>  **jongdaerulez** : maybe they’re fucking  
>  **minseokkim** : at this hour?????  
>  **minseokkim** : eh wtvr go get em boy  
>  **jongnini** : blegh

Junmyeon laughs as he unlocks his car and hops inside. Normally he’d be annoyed at his friends prying at his date, but he’s so happy that he just shakes his head and quickly types a reply.

> **myeontokki** : sry we just finished brunch + kyungsoo just left to run a few errands  
>  **myeontokki** : also we did not fuck jongdae u heathen  
>  **jongdaerulez** : weak  
>  **minseokkim** : ^ pfffffft  
>  **jongnini** : again, blegh  
>  **myeontokki** : WHATEVER but anyway it was nice we talked about work and stuff and kyungsoo was really sweet :-)  
>  **jongnini** : aww young love~  
>  **jongdaerulez** : WEAK!!!!  
>  **minseokkim** so is he truly ur soulmate?  
>  **myeontokki** : too early to tell tbh  
>  **myeontokki** : we’re going for sushi on wednesday, i’ll check by then  
>  **jongdaerulez** : YOOOOOOOOOOOO  
>  **jongdaerulez** : MAH BOI’S GOT GAME  
>  **jongnini** : NICE ONE HYUNG  
>  **minseokkim** : THAT’S OUR JUNMYEON  
>  **minseokkim** : i call best man  
>  **jongdaerulez** : get in line hyung

Junmyeon’s shoulders shake as he continues laughing over his friends’ silly messages. It’s nice to have a support system like this, and he’s grateful for them (crass as they are, especially Jongdae). Still smiling widely, he tosses his phone to the passenger seat and drives back to his apartment. Never in his life has he ever looked forward to the week this much, but hey, things change when you’re in love. And while he’s not _yet_ in love, he’s sure he’s pretty damn smitten, so that counts.

 

 

 

 

 

Sushi with Kyungsoo is just as enjoyable as their brunch date, and they go out again for an Italian dinner at Junmyeon’s favorite bistro near the hospital on Saturday before his night shift at the hospital. The following week Kyungsoo texts him about a coffee break, and they meet again at Café Universe where Kyungsoo rants about the same new hire for ten minutes straight while Junmyeon sips on his third cup of coffee for the day. The latter makes it up to him though by making Junmyeon listen to one of the OSTs from the sageuk drama he’s working on, and they spend the rest of the afternoon sharing a pair of earphones and listening to Kyungsoo’s playlists until Baekhyun calls him and demands him to get his ass back in the hospital.

His friends are absolutely elated for this new development—Minseok and Jongin are already jokingly planning his wedding, Baekhyun called him out for being smiley all week before glomping him and shrieking how they can finally double date, and even Sehun offered a few places for date options. Jongdae is the happiest of them all, mostly because he’s friends with the both of them. He still thinks he’s the one who made it all happen. Junmyeon lets him dream.

“You know, I was actually surprised how fast Kyungsoo warmed up to you,” He says over a bowl of ramen. They’re having lunch at the hole in the wall ramen bar near Jongdae’s apartment because he whined about Junmyeon only having time for Kyungsoo these days. Which is true, but still. “He’s usually closed off and reserved. Hell, it took me _weeks_ to be able to talk informally around him.”

“Should I be alarmed, then?” Junmyeon asks around a mouthful of gyoza.

“Nah. It’s cute, seeing him all smiley and bright these days.” Jongdae grins, his eyes turning into crescents. “I think you’re good for him, Junmyeon.”

(He simply smiles back and slurps his noodles, but he doesn’t say out loud how he thinks Kyungsoo is good for him, too.)

Junmyeon decides to finally make their dates, well, official dates. Casually getting to know each other is fun and all, but he wants to step things up a little further. It’s a Friday night, they’re at a fancy steak restaurant in the new upscale mall in Sincheon, and Kyungsoo absolutely looks gorgeous in his grey button down and black slacks. What better timing to confess than now? He looks up from his menu and watches the latter gnaw on his bottom lip absently as he studies the specials, a small frown on his face.

“You okay?” He asks, partly to make small talk and partly because Kyungsoo has been awfully quiet all night.

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Sorry, just got a lot of stuff on my mind.” Kyungsoo nods, and his lips quirk up into a small smile. Not the heart-shaped grin Junmyeon was accustomed to, but he’ll take it. He smiles back and motions for a server so they can order.

“Sirs, we have a special promo on our Korean beef selections exclusively for couples tonight, would you like to see the menu?” The server asks, smiling as he looks pointedly between them. Junmyeon’s stomach flips happily, both at the thought of being mistaken as a couple and for the offer of affordable Korean beef, but from the corner of his eye he sees Kyungsoo stiffen and fumble with the menu. His brows furrow ever so slightly, his mouth pinched into a small grimace. He’s clearly uncomfortable, and a couple of slices of (premium, high-quality, extremely sought after) meat isn’t worth it to Junmyeon if Kyungsoo isn’t happy with their dinner.

“We’re not a couple, so no thank you. We’ll just order from the normal menu.” Junmyeon smiles back, a little too forced for his liking, but it’s worth it to see the tense lines of Kyungsoo’s shoulders slump just a little in relief.

“Oh, my apologies for my brash assumptions.” The server quickly bows in shame, and both men shake their head.

“It’s fine, don’t worry. I just have an Australian ribeye with garlic mushrooms and corn. Medium, please.” Junmyeon assures him, closing the menu he was reading off from.

“I’ll have a porterhouse. Medium rare, with mixed vegetables and the salad pasta.” Kyungsoo pipes up, his voice even and toneless. The server nods dutifully before scurrying away with another soft apology, leaving them in awkward silence.

“You didn’t have to be honest with him, you know,” The latter says, making Junmyeon jump slightly. “I saw your expression, you wanted the Korean beef. We could’ve gotten that.”

“I do. But you seem uncomfortable when he brought it up. I could just buy my own.” Junmyeon shrugs, smiling wryly. He makes too much money for his own good, anyway. And with no family to support (he sends his parents money, of course, but it’s just a small chunk, barely even felt), he has enough to spare for small luxuries like Korean beef, even if he doesn’t know how to cook it properly. Perks of being single, he supposes.

Kyungsoo blinks, seemingly taken aback, but he eventually relents and sighs softly. “Thank you. It’s just been a long day at work,” He says.

“Would you like to talk about it?” Junmyeon asks tentatively. His hand twitches slightly, itching to reach over and comfort Kyungsoo with a gentle touch, but he sees the latter zero in on the movement with a frown and he restrains himself. “It’s okay if you don’t.”

“It’s nothing. Just a lot on my plate, that’s all.” Kyungsoo shakes his head, pushing his glasses up his nose. He bought a new pair two days ago, the thick black ones that Junmyeon liked. He sent a number of selcas on Kakaotalk, his eyes round and wide yet so emotionless as he took photos on the mirror while wearing the pairs that he was choosing from. Junmyeon may or may not have squealed and jumped around his clinic for a good five minutes before typing a quick reply, _I like the second one the best!_

(Kyungsoo had replied, _Me too_ and sent a final selca—still facing the mirror, his phone covering half of his face, but his other hand is making a peace sign. His eyes were decked in the glasses they both picked. Junmyeon died right there and then.)

“Hey, so did you hear about Jongdae’s plan to propose to Heize soon?” Junmyeon says, desperate for any conversation starters. He thanks the heavens when the latter shakes his head again and blabbers away about their mutual friend’s grandiose engagement proposal plans—involving a live violin player, for fuck’s sakes—that changes every month. Last month, it was a ring hidden in a cupcake. This month, it’s a romantic getaway to Jeju where they’ll light up a bonfire and eat seafood and lounge in ditzy beanbags before Jongdae pops the question. And yes, he wants the violin player to play Perfect by Ed Sheeran on the background. Typical Kim Jongdae.

As he talks mindlessly, Junmyeon covertly observes Kyungsoo. He still seems genuinely interested, but he also seems...reserved. Whenever Junmyeon cracks ajoke, he’d start to grin before quickly schooling his expression back to something a little more blasé. Whenever Junmyeon says something interesting—like Jongdae’s wedding guestlist—he’d start to lean forward until he’d catch himself, and slowly back away. Whenever Junmyeon pauses to take a sip of water, he’d look like he wants to bring something up, but would just remain quiet. He seems like he’s holding himself back from being the normal Kyungsoo that Junmyeon has grown to know. Like someone is watching them, and is monitoring Kyungsoo’s every move. He’s a little more hesitant with Junmyeon now, a far cry from last Monday’s coffee break when his fingers played invisible piano on Junmyeon’s knee when they were listening to an instrumental he had just made a few weeks ago. It’s disconcerting, almost disheartening even, but Junmyeon squashes down the sadness and does not pry.

Their dinner arrives not long after Junmyeon’s mindless chatter ends, and they eat in silence. Junmyeon asks him if his food is okay, and Kyungsoo offers him some pasta, but that’s it. For once they are wrapped in silence, and not the comfortable kind. It’s awkward and charged with tension, like they’re strangers again.

So much for being a perfect night to confess.

They finish eating—Kyungsoo didn’t want dessert tonight—and Junmyeon doesn’t protest when the latter insists on splitting the bill, just sighing almost inaudibly as he tucks in his share plus enough for a hefty tip. They both stand up and exit the restaurant to walk back to the parking lot, still not talking to each other even as Junmyeon offhandedly comments on the cold weather. Someone in a rush bumps into him just as he’s thinking of other possible tangents to try and revive their conversation, making him stumble to the side and accidentally brush hands with Kyungsoo. The latter jolts as if electrocuted and draws his hand back, although he does ask if Junmyeon is okay. However, he tucks his hands inside his coat pocket and noticeably steps away from him. As if they weren’t so far apart in the first place. As if they needed more distance between them.

They finally reach the car, and Junmyeon hops in without a word. His heart hurts and he’s in a horrible mood, and he just wants to eat ice cream and sleep. Still, he softly offers Kyungsoo a ride home. To his surprise, the latter nods.

“I’m sorry about how I acted today,” Kyungsoo says as they drive out of the parking lot. “I know I’ve been...off, today.”

“It’s okay,” Junmyeon replies, even if it’s really not okay. He’s so hurt that Kyungsoo doesn’t trust him enough to even give him an idea of what he’s going through. He knows they’ve been friends for a short time, but he at least deserves an explanation as to why he’s being given the cold shoulder all of a sudden, when he hasn’t even done anything remotely wrong or offending. He’s sure, because he’s trying _very_ hard.

“No, it’s not. I—look, it’s not you. It’s me.” Kyungsoo shakes his head. Oh, boy. They haven’t even started dating and he’s already breaking up with him? Must be a new record for Junmyeon.

“Kyungsoo—“ He starts to say, but Kyungsoo raises a hand.

“I was looking forward to dinner with you tonight, and I accidentally mentioned it to one of my coworkers today. Not Jongdae, but someone else you haven’t met. He’s from another department that Jongdae doesn’t like interacting with.” He drops his hand and begins to fumble with the hem of his coat. “He said something that really threw me off, and I—I guess it bothers me a lot to the point that I ruined dinner.”

Junmyeon wants to protest, but he knows Kyungsoo needs the time to collect his thoughts, so he stays quiet and keeps his eyes on the road.

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath, almost like he’s scared to continue. “He told me that I’ve been seeing you a lot lately, and asked me if I was dating you. I said no, because for me, we’re two friends who are getting to know each other. We’ve known each other for what, a month? But then he asked me if _you_ knew that they weren’t dates, because for him, they seem like dates. I said I wasn’t sure, then he told me to think things through because I might be leading you on when this is all a dead end.”

_You were,_ Junmyeon wants to retort, but he still doesn’t speak, just channels his frustration by gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white.

“Junmyeon, I love hanging out with you. You’re funny and kind and thoughtful, you listen to my rants and you offer great advice. I appreciate your company, and we just click so well that I sometimes question my other friends, whether we’re this comfortable. I’m really glad that I met you,” Kyungsoo says slowly, as if he’s trying his best not to offend him. “But I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I’m not ready for one just yet. It’s not part of my priorities at the moment.”

Crash. Junmyeon’s heart breaks into tiny, little pieces that not even an entire gallon of ice cream, a fuckton of alcohol, and his entire romcom collection can glue back together. The only thing keeping him from breaking down is the acting classes that he took back in college for fun, helping him school his expression into nonchalance as he smoothly turns left, to the direction of Kyungsoo’s apartment.

“I’m sorry if I led you on. I’m sorry if you thought of our outings as dates. I know you’re looking for a partner and Jongdae offhandedly mentioned once how lonely you sometimes feel, especially being the only bachelor in your group, but I‘m not the one that you need. I‘m not the one that you’re looking for, because I’m not looking for someone. I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo bows his head, looking like a boy who is waiting to be admonished by his mother. Like he’s waiting for Junmyeon to just yell at him and make him walk back to his apartment. Like Junmyeon could ever be mad at him for something he’s not even at fault. Kyungsoo didn’t lead him on, didn’t give him extra signs that he likes him anyway. It’s all on Junmyeon and his fickle heart that hurts even more at the sight of the latter so sad, so broken, so afraid of losing a friend.

“It’s not your fault. No harm done, don’t worry.” He finally speaks up, and he musters all of his strength to keep his voice even and gentle. “Jongdae is right, I do feel lonely sometimes. But just because someone tolerates me well enough to hang out with me often, doesn’t mean I automatically fall in love with them. I’m not dating Baekhyun, and we share a bed in the ER almost every other day.”

Kyungsoo looks up at him, his eyes round, sad, and glassy. Junmyeon doesn’t know his heart could break any further, but here it is, crushed into fine powder. “You’re not mad at me?” He asks, voice small.

“If I was mad at you, I would’ve asked you to go down and walk home. Yet here we are, a few blocks away from your apartment. You tell me,” Junmyeon replies, his voice cracks just a little at the end as he struggles to keep it light and amused. He even manages a small, playful smile. _Just hold on a little longer._

“I could go down now,” Kyungsoo says hesitantly, but a smile is slowly creeping up his lips. For the first time that night.

“It’s already dark outside, and with single digit weather no less. What kind of friend do you take me for, Doh Kyungsoo?” Junmyeon protests, feigning anger, but his façade cracks when Kyungsoo bursts out laughing. “Besides, it’s just one block left on a one-way street. So much for offering.”

“I tried.” The latter shrugs, and his heart-shaped grin is back. Junmyeon breathes a little easier as he slows down to a stop in front of Kyungsoo’s apartment complex. “Thank you for bringing me home.”

“Hey, what are friends for?” Junmyeon says, and manages a smile even as the words left a bitter taste on his tongue. Normally, they’d hug briefly when they part ways, Kyungsoo’s arm warm and sturdy against his back. But after that spiel, he couldn’t bring himself to even lean forward, so he just holds out a hand and looks at the latter expectantly.

Kyungsoo looks at him, then at his hand, then back at him. “What?” His thick brows furrow.

“I’d give you a hug as usual, but your coworker might see us and give you shit again. Can I get a friendly handshake instead?” Junmyeon grins, and he prays that Kyungsoo doesn’t detect the bitterness in his voice, or the way his hand shakes.

He doesn’t, but he does blink at him before laughing. “You’re dumb.” Kyungsoo huffs before pulling him into a hug. It’s tighter than usual, and Junmyeon doesn’t know what to feel, so he just wraps his arms around him just as tightly. A little more quietly, his voice muffled by Junmyeon’s sweater, Kyungsoo adds: “Thank you for understanding.” He simply hums and rubs his back comfortingly to show that he does.

(He really does, but that doesn’t make it any less painful.)

After a while Kyungsoo slowly pulls back, and Junmyeon lets him, his arms falling limply back to his side. “I should go. Drive safely, okay?” He says. “Text me when you get home.”

“I will. Good night, Kyungsoo.” Junmyeon nods, giving him one last smile and a small wave. Kyungsoo beams back and steps out of the car, walking towards his apartment complex. Before he enters, he turns one last time and waves at Junmyeon before disappearing behind the revolving doors (because his building is fancy like that). Only when the doors stopped spinning did Junmyeon start the car again and drive away, towards his own (empty) apartment. He turns the radio on, and it plays an old Michael Bublé song about how he hasn’t met the right person yet. He turns it off again.

When he finally gets home, the moment he steps inside, his phone rings. Jongdae. Junmyeon makes a mental note to check his body for bugs as he checks the group chat.

 

> _Group:_ **KIM BROS RULEZ!!!**
> 
> **jongdaerulez** : SO  
>  **jongdaerulez** : IS KOREA’S MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR FINALLY OFF THE MARKET  
>  **jongdaerulez** : CAN ALL THE SINGLE LADIES AND GENTS MOURN ALRD  
>  **minseokkim** : *wedding bells intensify*  
>  **jongnini** : *wedding march crescendos*

They’re all so excited about this. He doesn’t have the heart to tell them the truth, but he couldn’t bring himself to lie, either. He sighs frustratedly and flops down the couch, exhausted.

> **myeontokki** : guys, i’m sorry. kyungsoo’s not looking for a relationship right now. we’re just going to be friends.  
>  **jongdaerulez** : oh  
>  **minseokkim** : oh  
>  **jongnini** : oh  
>  **jongnini** : r u ok, hyung?  
>  **myeontokki** : i’m ok. :-)  
>  **jongdaerulez** : kim junmyeon, don’t give us that nosed smiley. u r not ok.  
>  **myeontokki** : i don’t exactly have any other choice but to be okay, jongdae.  
>  **jongnini** : hyung ㅠㅠ  
>  **minseokkim** : junmyeon-ah :(  
>  **jongdaerulez** : put a kettle to boil pls i want tea thx  
>  **myeontokki** : what  
>  **minseokkim** : what  
>  **jongnini** : what
> 
> _jongdaerulez is offline_

About fifteen minutes later, someone knocks loudly on the front door. Junmyeon opens it to see a breathless Jongdae, his cat pajamas peeking from under his peacoat. On his one hand is a plastic bag full of ice cream, and on the other is his wallet and phone. “The others are on their way, I'm here because I live nearest and I took a cab,” He announces. He drops his things unceremoniously on the coffee table before he stretches his arms out for a hug. “Now come here and cry it all out before they arrive.”

That’s all that it takes for Junmyeon to bury his face on Jongdae’s collar and break down into an ugly, lonely crying mess. Jongdae simply hums and rubs his arms comfortingly, and the fact that he has no smartass comment makes Junmyeon even sadder because that’s how pitiful he is right now, heart breaking over someone who wasn’t his, heart broken because of his own crazed assumptions. And even after Minseok and Jongin arrive with cookies and more ice cream and a bottle of vodka from Luhan, and they all crowd in his living room and snuggle one another while watching romcoms, he realizes that after this they’ll go back home—Jongin to his wife, Minseok to his husband, and Jongdae to his girlfriend, and Junmyeon will go back to his empty bed that is too big and too cold for one lonely soul, and he has never felt so alone.

 

 

 

 

 

“I take it back, I love you being all smiley. It’s not annoying, you actually look so cute. I’m sorry!” Baekhyun wails as he hugs Junmyeon, shaking him. “Please stop moping. I miss our sunshine in the hospital.”

“You’re heavy,” Junmyeon replies with a huff, shoving the blond doctor off his lap and going back to his reports. He’s been in a funk all week, barely smiling and interacting with anyone. If he doesn’t have a patient, he holes himself up in his office, doing measly admin work that he could easily ask his secretary to do—update patient records, file reports, even do his freaking taxes. He doesn’t even go out anymore, just eats lunch at the cafeteria and drinks the shitty coffee no one likes without complaint. Baekhyun and Sehun have mostly left him alone, but it’s been more than a week of moping and they couldn’t take it anymore.

“If you miss him so badly, then call him,” Baekhyun says matter of factly, settling on one of the chairs where Junmyeon’s patients sit. “I’m sure he misses you too.”

“We’re not dating, Baek. I can’t just call him up to ask him for coffee or something.” Junmyeon sighs, still typing away on his laptop. His phone dings, but he ignores it. Probably Jongdae.

“Friends do that too!” The latter protests, his shrill voice punctuated by another ding. Junmyeon ignores them both. “Junmyeon, you can’t hole yourself up here forever, you— _if your phone dings one more time I will castrate whoever is bugging you at this hour, so help me God—_ ”

He stifles a snicker as he unlocks his phone in time for the fourth ding. It’s Jongdae, all right, and he’s spamming his Kakaotalk.

 

> **jongdaerulez** : look junmyeon, i love u and i respect your decision to mourn or wtvr  
>  **jongdaerulez** : but can u PLEASE call kyungsoo and tell him everything’s fine  
>  **jongdaerulez** : he’s been staring at his phone all day, your message thread open  
>  **jongdaerulez** : it’s cute but also sad but generally fuckin annoying i’ve been trying to ask him abt his demos thrice now and HE HASN’T. REPLIED. ONCE. smh  
>  **jongdaerulez** : pls he’s been moping all week too he’s so worried pls pls pls just tell him everything’s fine ㅠㅠ

He wasn’t looking for a sign, but here it is anyway, a big neon signs with bright lights and booming background music and even that air dancer that Sehun likes to imitate sometimes. _Fine, universe, you win this round._ With a soft, frustrated sigh, Junmyeon opens their chat. Kyungsoo’s online.

> **myeontokki** : hey  
>  **myeontokki** : work’s a little slow. wanna get coffee? :)  
>  **dohkyungsoo** : i’d love to. meet you at café universe in a few?  
>  **myeontokki** : sure! omw in a bit  
>  **dohkyungsoo** : see you! ^^

Junmyeon thumbs at the emoticon, smiling sadly. He hates how fond he feels at the reply, but he couldn’t help it anyway. He shouldn’t even be smiling at a damn reply simply because he _couldn’t_ , yet here he is. Damn fickle hearts with mushy feelings.

“Where are you going?” Baekhyun asks as he watches him trade his doctor’s coat for his puffy black jacket, but makes no move to stop him.

“Café Universe. Meeting Kyungsoo for coffee. A _friendly_ coffee break!” He insists as the latter breaks into his signature boxy grin, droopy eyes shining. “Don’t give me shit, Baek.”

“Got no shits to give, mate.” Baekhyun holds up his hands like he’s surrendering, but he still has his annoying grin on his face. Junmyeon resists the urge to smack him on the head. “Bring me back a muffin?”

“I’ll think about it,” Junmyeon says as he moves out of his clinic. With each step his nervousness grows—what will they talk about? What will he say? How will Kyungsoo act? Can they ever go back to how they were before? What is there to go back to, even? He almost turns back and flees, but he promised Kyungsoo a coffee break, and a coffee break he’ll get. He can do this. He’s a strong man. A strong, independent man who needs no partner (but would _really_ like to have someone, preferably forever, if the universe ever so kindly agrees).

And because his life is a huge cliché, Junmyeon arrives in Café Universe just in time to see Kyungsoo, decked in a coffee-colored turtleneck and a dark brown coat settle on the same spot by the window where he first saw him. Where he fell in love at first sight. Where everything started. Where his cold, lonely heart started beating again—and where he thought he finally found his other half. _Joke’s on you, Junmyeon three months ago._

Taking a deep breath to steel himself, Junmyeon marches to the café and walks to where Kyungsoo is sitting with his legs crossed as usual, typing a message on their Kakaotalk thread. _Cute_ , he thinks as he taps his shoulder gently. “Hey, have you been waiting long?” He asks as he takes a seat across the man, just to make small talk.

“No, I just arrived. Have you ordered?” Kyungsoo smiles at him, a little hesitant but still so beautiful. Junmyeon’s little fragile heart hurts.

“Not yet. Shall I order for the both of us?” Junmyeon offers, but the latter shakes his head.

“It’s okay, I’ll do it. Hot vanilla latte, extra brown sugar, no foam, right?” Kyungsoo says, and Junmyeon could only nod dumbfoundedly as the producer moves away to place their orders. So he can’t love him, but he can memorize how Junmyeon takes his coffee at Café Universe after only three visits. Kyungsoo is a lot of things—beautiful, graceful, a gentle heartbreaker, and _confusing as fuck._

“Here.” Kyungsoo’s deep voice jolts him back to reality—he had been glaring at the street for a few minutes now—and Junmyeon sheepishly accepts the warm drink with a grateful bow of his head. The latter goes back to his seat, dunking a teabag into his mug rather unceremoniously. “So...how’s work?”

Small talk. Guess this is ‘going back to normal.’ “Work’s fine. My regular patients aren’t up for routine checkups, so I’ve just been mostly busy because of the ER. Otherwise, it’s slow.” Junmyeon shrugs, taking a sip of his coffee. Exactly how he likes it. “And you? How’s the OST coming along?”

“Great, actually. They’re targeting 8 songs for the OST, and I have about three of my demos approved and two from our composers, so just a bit more work and it’s scoring time,” Kyungsoo replies, stirring his honey stick inside his tea. Kyungsoo doesn’t like milk or sugar in his tea, but he does like honey. See? Junmyeon pays attention, too (but this is now filed under Useless Facts, because. Well. He’s not gonna make his tea for him anyway).

“Well, good luck then,” He says, holding up a fist to cheer him on. Kyungsoo laughs softly and sips his tea, and that’s the end of their conversation. Silence envelopes them once more, a little too long and a little too quiet to be comfortable. Before long Junmyeon is a quarter into his coffee, and he doesn't even like drinking coffee quickly (even the shitty hospital coffee that he's slowly warming up to). He drums his fingers against his mug, trying to stave off any urge to fill the silence with mindless chatter.

"Look, I know the conversation that we had last week was...awkward, to say at the least.” Kyungsoo finally speaks up, eyes trained on his mug of tea. “And I’m sorry for ruining everything because what my shitty coworker got to me too much.”

“It’s not your fault,” Junmyeon says. _If anything, it’s mine._ “I’m sorry, too. For not reaching out last week.”

“No! No, don’t be sorry, it’s fine. I understand I made things weird because hey, no one was thinking they were dates anyway and yet here I go crazy over nothing.” Kyungsoo shakes his head, laughing wryly, and Junmyeon bites his lip before he could say, _I did. I thought they were dates. Sue me._ The latter looks up at him with such sad eyes that the urge to lash out fizzles away anyway, leaving him with a dull ache that he has grown accustomed to. “Look, I’m sorry I messed this up, but I mean it when I said that I value you a lot as a friend. Can we please forget that last Saturday happened and just start over?”

Does he want to start over? Junmyeon liked what they had before shit hit the fan. He liked being close to Kyungsoo, he liked being privy to his life through the stories he tells and the pictures he sends that no one really knows about. He liked the feeling that maybe Kyungsoo is the missing piece he has been looking for, that maybe everything will be okay in the long run. He liked the feeling that people say when they found their other half, when someone just jives with you so easily that they’re like your literal other half. But most importantly, he liked having Kyungsoo by his side, and if he prioritizes his feelings then he will lose not only a potential partner, but a friend. And if having Kyungsoo in his life means having to squash down the icky feelings he has, or having to find love somewhere else, or just settling on being alone and spoiling his dog and maybe a few charities (his money _had_ to go somewhere) and his future nieces and nephews, then he’ll take it. It’s not the most ideal of tradeoffs, but he has no other choice anyway.

So with a deep breath and a brave smile, Junmyeon nods and extends a hand. “Sure. Hi, I’m Dr. Kim Junmyeon. I’m a pediatrician. Nice to meet you.”

Kyungsoo laughs—genuinely, this time—and takes his hand in his. Even though they were hugging his mug earlier, his hands are still cold. It’s a Kyungsoo thing. “Doh Kyungsoo. Music producer and vocal coach. The pleasure’s mine.”

 

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon and Kyungsoo go back to normal after that. At first it was still awkward, but then Junmyeon accidentally sends a Star Wars meme to Kyungsoo instead of Sehun, and it’s like a spell is broken—Kyungsoo laughs at it for a good two minutes, and then they talk about Star Wars. Now they’re back to regular programming—meeting up for coffee or a dinner every week or so, when Junmyeon isn’t swamped with patients or when Kyungsoo isn’t drowning in deadlines, talking in Kakaotalk about random stuff, annoying Jongdae, the works. Kyungsoo has began to be so comfortable with him that he hits him now on a regular basis, something Jongdae says is peak friendship material with the latter—not that hard to bruise or hurt, mind, but Junmyeon has grown to develop a reflex to flinch every time Kyungsoo raises his hand. It’s another Kyungsoo thing, like his chestnut head and his perpetually cold hands and his love for black. Junmyeon has also dropped his cool guy façade and cracks dad jokes at every opportunity, so much that once Kyungsoo actually texted Jongdae to ask if he has always been this annoying. They’re not as touchy as before, but they’re good friends, and Junmyeon likes it this way.

His feelings have settled in his unconscious, too. At first, whenever they’d meet his pulse still quickens and he’d still stare a beat too long, but he has learned to repress them so well that these days Kyungsoo will grab his arm to drag him somewhere and the butterflies in his stomach won’t throw a mad house party anymore. Not even a few faint flutters, just silence. He’s slowly moving on from his feelings. Junmyeon is proud of this development.

(Minseok isn’t, but he’s still supportive because that’s what friends are for, supporting you on bad decisions they can’t talk you out of and hoping for the best. “I’m not sure this is the best solution to your problem, Junmyeon,” He says once when Junmyeon came over for lunch because Luhan just bought a new crockpot and is adamant on impressing everyone with the recipes he found online, “But I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Junmyeon doesn’t, but he shrugs and silently accepts a bowl of taco stew from Luhan.)

His dating life has also returned back to its normal state—that is, undeniably hopeless. Soojung did indeed set him up with a friend from work—Song Qian is beautiful, independent, confident, and probably the poster girl for “The Future is Female,” but in the end they just didn’t click (Junmyeon still befriended her afterwards, and the last conversation they had was about her meeting Yifan at a friend’s birthday party. He warned her about his aversion to tears, because he’s a good friend like that). Jongdae’s shortlist came up a little too short too—Kibum was too loud, Jinki was too quiet, and Minho was too weird. His Tinder matches—yeah, he reinstalled Tinder, he’s _that_ desperate—aren’t any good either, so he’s still single as a pringle. Nothing much has changed in that department, at least. And besides, that gives him more time to work at the hospital. A lot of nurses and doctors are taking days off, so they’re short on staff at the moment. He doesn’t really have time to date.

All in all, Junmyeon’s life has gone back to normal. He’s got great friends, a nice job that keeps him busy yet fulfilled, and no hand to hold. Typical Kim Junmyeon.

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t usually meddle with his dating life, being an eligible bachelor himself and the whole ‘safe distance’ normalcy whatever, so it comes as a huge shock to Junmyeon when he sets him up with a date. With his coworker, no less.

“I have this friend, I think you’ll like him,” He says as he cuts open a raviolo. They’re back at a Italian restaurant that Jongdae recommended beforep because for some reason, Kyungsoo really likes their food. Junmyeon thinks it’s overpriced and overcooked (his penne is so mushy), but hey, he’s no cook. “He’s one of the best composers at our company, and he does vocal coaching with me sometimes. He’s funny and a little dorky and really, really nice.”

“Well, he does sound lovely. Why don’t _you_ ask him out, then?” Junmyeon asks, sprinkling pepper all over his penne ala vodka in hopes that it can still be salvaged (nope).

“Junmyeon, I told you I’m not looking for anything right now. Besides, Jonghyun’s not my type.” Kyungsoo shrugs. “Also, Jongdae is harassing almost everyone near our office to go out with his ‘hot, rich friend with a puppy and a black card,’ and frankly, I’m dying of secondhand embarrassment.”

Fucking Kim Jongdae. Junmyeon sighs and rubs a hand across his face. “Fine, fine. Give me his number and I’ll try my best.”

“Sure, remind me to Kakao it to you later. Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll go well.” Kyungsoo smiles as he takes another bite of pasta. “Hey, maybe you can bring him here for dinner. Jonghyun likes Italian.”

“Kyungsoo, when I said I’ll try my best, I meant to make things work, not to scare him off. This place sucks,” He says lowly, so that the server who just passed by wouldn’t hear him.

The latter raised a brow. “Well, why didn’t you tell me then? We could’ve picked another restaurant. Maybe the one you took me to before, that one was good too.”

“Yeah, but you like it here, so...” Junmyeon mumbles, stuffing his face with (mushy) pasta immediately after in hopes that it’ll muffle his words. It doesn’t, and Kyungsoo smiles at him again before shaking his head.

“You’ll be good to Jonghyun,” He says thoughtfully. Junmyeon chooses to drain his wine glass instead of replying, _I’ll be good to you too, if you’ll just give me a chance._ Nope, no more sadness and mushy feelings (only mushy pasta!). He is moving on from Kyungsoo, and he’ll start his new life with this Jonghyun guy. He genuinely sounds like a nice guy, and if Kyungsoo’s enthusiasm is anything to go by, looking for a relationship. Hopefully.

 

 

 

 

 

Jonghyun is short.

Okay, look. Junmyeon isn’t that tall, he’s probably the second shortest in the Kim Brothers next to Minseok. But Jonghyun, who is probably the same height as his, looks small even in his leather jacket and white button down and black jeans that looks a little out of place in an all-day breakfast shop, where everyone is getting brunch. Cute, but in a manly way. Especially when he smiles at Junmyeon and his eyes turn into crescents, his grin wide and his nose scrunched up a little. Almost like a puppy.

(Or a very cute dinosaur, Junmyeon’s mind supplies. He doesn’t voice that thought out, though.)

“Hi, you must be Dr. Kim. I’m Kim Jonghyun, it’s nice to meet you,” He says. His voice is musical, the cadence gentle and calming.

“Nice to meet you too. And please, Junmyeon’s fine.” Junmyeon takes the proffered hand—Jonghyun’s hand is warm—and shakes it before taking a seat across the brunet. “Shall we order?”

Jonghyun nods and motions for a waiter. His movements are graceful, elegant. After they each said their orders, he thanks the server before she left. He’s very respectful and bright. Almost like an angel.

So why is Junmyeon feeling nothing? Why are the butterflies in his stomach quiet?

“So Kyungsoo tells me you’re a pediatrician?” Jonghyun asks, and this conversation reminds Junmyeon of something, but he can’t seem to place what it is. He ignores it and nods.

“Yeah, I specialize in respiratory pediatrics, but these days I work on general pediatrics as well. The hospital’s pretty busy.” Junmyeon explains.

“Oh! Must be fun, being with kids all the time?” Jonghyun says, eyes wide with interest. “I mean, except when they’re crying. I think it’s a general consensus that there’s nothing more heartbreaking than the sound of a child crying.”

“Maybe change heartbreaking to annoying and you have the proper statistics,” He jokes, and Jonghyun laughs. He really does look like a dinosaur, but it’s quite endearing. Progress! “So, you’re a composer?”

“I am.” Jonghyun tells him about his work as the server comes back with their food, and Junmyeon finds out over brunch that the latter has penned most of his favorite works from SM Records. Jongdae usually guilt trips them into supporting SM’s new releases, and Junmyeon has bought a lot of ballad albums (and girl group albums, but not the point) that he often listens to when he’s driving or just relaxing at home. He likes the soothing melodies, but the lyrics are what makes him hit repeat. Jonghyun deserves the praise from Kyungsoo to be one of the best composers.

Talking with Jonghyun is easy. He’s a little awkward, but he makes up for it with his infectious laugh and genuine smile. He’s very wise, way beyond his years, and he sounds like a caring person, too. In another world, Junmyeon would be head over heels for him. Yet somehow he feels nothing. It feels like something is missing, something is off with the entire setup. He feels bad because Jonghyun deserves the world, but he couldn’t help it. He just couldn’t force himself to feel something for another person, right? He couldn’t just command his pulse to quicken, or make his heart feel mushy and happy. But what is wrong with this? It’s a romantic place, their conversation is enjoyable, and his date is a literal angel. So what’s wrong—

Junmyeon’s phone buzzes with a new messages, and with a quick apology to Jonghyun, he glances down at his phone screen. Being an on-call doctor means he can never ignore messages, and he’s glad Jonghyun understands that he just wasn’t looking for an excuse to cut his anecdote on this trainee he’s managing at the moment.

> **dohkyungsoo** : tell me how your date goes okay! fighting! ^^

Cue: erratic pulse, breathlessness, and an impromptu butterfly dance party in his stomach. _Great._

“Is everything okay?” Jonghyun asks with a concerned frown, and he jolts back to reality. No, he’s not with Kyungsoo. He’s with Jonghyun. Kyungsoo wouldn’t even go on a date with him. _Get a grip and move the fuck on, Kim Junmyeon_. “Do you need to be back at the hospital?”

Junmyeon takes a deep breath to steady his pounding heart and shakes his head, smiling. “No, it’s nothing important.” He locks his phone and tucks it back inside his coat pocket. “So tell me again about this trainee. He looks like a frog, you say?”

 

 

 

 

 

Jongdae, at a loss for words, simply smacks him on the head.

“You’re dumb.” He announces before going back to attacking his pizza box (it’s takeout and Star Wars night for KBWM at Junmyeon’s fancy penthouse). “You went out with _the_ Kim Jonghyun and you still couldn’t stop thinking about Kyungsoo? Emotionally unavailable egghead Doh Kyungsoo versus actual angel incarnate Kim Jonghyun? _Really?_ ”

“Jongdae, no need to resort to violence.” Minseok tuts, reaching over to rub the smarting spot soothingly. Junmyeon nods vigorously and tries to burrow at the eldest’s side (they’re sharing the couch), but then he pokes his forehead rather firmly. Touché. “And you, this Jonghyun sounds like a fantastic guy. You seriously couldn’t move on from Kyungsoo? Is it that bad?”

“Hey, I have moved on—“ Junmyeon’s confidence withers at the three identical stares he gets in return. “A little bit. But there’s progress! Jeez, guys, tone down the skepticism.”

“Look, hyung. We’re just saying that maybe Jonghyun is the one you’re looking for and not Kyungsoo, but you’re a little jaded by the whole Kyungsoo thing that you can’t see how great this guy is,” Jongin says around a mouthful of pizza from his spot on the floor, Byeol on his lap waiting for scraps. “I understand it’s a little early to try again, but you should, you know?”

“I am, I promise. It’s just—“ He sighs and nibbles the crust of his pizza absently, trying to piece his fuzzy thoughts together. “Jonghyun reminds me so much of Kyungsoo, you know? Jonghyun’s short, Kyungsoo’s short. He sings and makes music, Kyungsoo sings and makes music. He’s great at conversations, Kyungsoo is too! He’s—“

“—already smitten after just one date, and Kyungsoo dumps your gorgeous ass because a shitty guy from Finance gave him shit.” Jongdae finishes for him, and they all gape at the producer. “Yeah, Jonghyun talked to me the day after your little date and asked your food preferences and allergies. He’s already planning your second date because he enjoyed himself, and you’re still here dreaming about Kyungsoo.”

As if on cue—who the hell is doing the cueing in his life and why is it so on point?—Junmyeon’s phone pings with a new message, coincidentally from Jonghyun.

> **blingblingkjh** : hey junmyeon! i rly had a great time last week :) there’s this japanese restaurant downtown that serves great donburi, would you like to grab dinner sometime? :)

“So will you say yes?” Jongdae asks, his voice suddenly too loud, and Junmyeon looks up to see all his friends crowded near him to look at the message. Jongin is leaning on Minseok, and Jongdae is leaning over the couch and right at Junmyeon’s shoulder. Talk about brotherly bonding at its finest.

“Should I?” He shoots back, unsure. He’s reading from his notifications so he still hasn’t marked the message as read, so he can stall all he wants. Junmyeon has great texting etiquette.

“Well, do you want to?” Jongin asks him, as if he can glean a proper answer from all these questions. He couldn’t, and Junmyeon sighs in defeat as he leans back on the sofa.

“I don’t know.” He admits, staring at his phone like a lovestruck teenager. “I really, really don’t know.”

“Okay, here’s what you’re gonna do.” Minseok, ever the voice of reason, takes his phone from him and sets it aside. “You’re going to think long and hard about whether you want to date Jonghyun. Not Kyungsoo, but Jonghyun. If yes, then say yes. If you still see Kyungsoo in him, say no. Don’t go into this halfheartedly, Junmyeon-ah. This might be your chance at true love. Don’t blow it off because you’re still hung up on a love that never was.”

_Ouch._ Minseok doesn’t really beat around the bush when he gives advice. Still, he’s right. “It’ll be unfair for the both of you if you don’t give it your all, hyung.” Jongin adds, his voice soothing. “Make sure you actually want this so you don’t lead him on, okay?”

“Just follow your heart, but think first before you do. It’s not a wedding proposal, but it might lead to one if all ends well!” Jongdae ruffles his hair, all his earlier annoyance gone.

“Thanks, guys.” He smiles weakly, and everyone gives him one last comforting pat before going back to their respective pizza boxes. Except Minseok, who finally lets him snuggle up on his side as he brushes his hair absently. Junmyeon tunes out the rest of the movie and mulls over the invite for the date waiting on his phone, and whether he has really moved on enough to say yes. Has he?

 

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon says yes.

He still has no answer to whether he has completely moved on from Kyungsoo, but he says yes because Jonghyun is great and he figures he deserves another shot at love. So he says yes and they eat Japanese for dinner on a lovely Tuesday, go out for coffee and crepe cakes on a gloomy Friday afternoon, and watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s at the indie movie theater near the school where Minseok works a week after. They also try the new food park downtown, go to the arcade and spend most of their tokens on the claw machine (Jonghyun wins him a stuffed bunny), and set up a picnic mat near the Han river and gorged on chicken and beer while wearing their work attire (Jonghyun in a suit, Junmyeon in scrubs) just for kicks. They share laughs and stories about themselves, from petty things like Junmyeon’s favorite candy and Jonghyun’s weird favorite color, to more personal things like the kid Jonghyun is thinking of adopting despite being single and Junmyeon’s parents pressuring him to get married. Jonghyun is fun, easy to talk to, great company, and the embodiment of sunshine and warmth. He isn’t perfect, but he tries his very best to overcome his inner demons anyway, and Junmyeon admires him a lot for that. The love he couldn’t give for himself, he pours so much in his work and to others. Junmyeon has never met a man more selfless and talented, and he is in love. Or should be in love. Or at least a little bit on the way there.

But he isn’t.

Junmyeon couldn’t help it, even if he tried. Every time he looks at Jonghyun, he sees Kyungsoo. When Jonghyun smiles, he expects heart-shaped lips, not sharp teeth and crinkled eyes. When Jonghyun laughs, he strains his ears for booming giggles, not cherubic chuckles like a symphony. When Jonghyun talks, he expects a low, velvety voice ranting about interns and not soulful yet bright musings on the latest Boys Avenue cover. When Jonghyun walks ahead of him, he expects a chestnut head and broad shoulders, not buff arms and artfully tousled brown hair. When Jonghyun holds his hand, he expects cold fingers, not a warm grip. When he spends time with Jonghyun, he expects Kyungsoo to magically show up, and no matter how hard he tries to repress these feelings, they just pop right back up, and the vicious cycle of pining over Kyungsoo continues once more.

And Kyungsoo is with him—but in his Kakaotalk, when the producer would send heart eyes stickers whenever Junmyeon talks about his date with Jonghyun, or when he’d link him nice date spots, or when he’d just ask how their date went, like a true friend. He’s supportive of their budding relationship, yet how is Junmyeon able to invest in it when he has his heart set on another person entirely? How is he supposed to feel all these mushy feelings of being in love when his heart is still in pieces? How will he finally move on when he doesn’t even want to take the first step?

Jonghyun answers his questions when they have dinner in the same steakhouse that Kyungsoo broke his heart in. “Junmyeon, I think we should break up,” He says simply as he toys with the carrots on his plate.

(Junmyeon makes a mental note to stop visiting this steakhouse.)

“Oh.” It’s all that he has to say, knife halfway into cutting through his ribeye.

“You’re a great guy, and I’d be lying if I said I don’t like you. You’re thoughtful and caring and smart and funny and really handsome, and believe me, if we had met at another time, I’d go all lengths to make you mine.” Jonghyun’s voice is calm and soothing, like he’s not (theoretically) breaking Junmyeon’s heart right now. His expression is sad, but resolute. “But now is not the right time for this.”

“What’s wrong with now?” Junmyeon asks.

“Right now, you still have your eyes on someone. Your smile is genuine, but your eyes are searching. You enjoy yourself but you hesitate a bit at first—because something seems off. I’ll give you a hint: it’s me. I’m not the one you want to do all the things we did.” Jonghyun explains, smiling wryly.

“Jjong—“ He tries to explain, but the latter just shakes his head.

“Please don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. The heart wants what it wants, after all. And besides, we’re in the same boat.” The composer ducks his head down, and Junmyeon could see his ears turn pink. “While mulling your situation over, I realized I still liked this guy from work that I used to have a huge crush on. Since college, actually. And the feelings may have faded for a while, but I know they’re not gone. And it’s unfair to you to not have my whole heart, so I’m doing both of us a favor.”

Junmyeon couldn’t believe this. Jonghyun even thought of his situation for him. How can he be so perfect and still not make his heart flutter? “Thank you, Jjong. For understanding, and for letting me realize things. I’m sorry, both for still being hung up and for this not working out. We could’ve been great, I know.” He reaches over and takes Jonghyun’s hand in his, and the latter intertwines their fingers together fondly and gives it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. It’s funny how they’re both so accepting of the situation; perhaps they really didn’t like each other that well. “If anything, this guy will be extremely lucky to have you. Want me to kick some sense into him?”

“No, thanks. I can handle it myself with some awkward flirting,” Jonghyun says, and they both laugh. “But promise me one thing?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t go into another relationship unless you have settled your feelings, okay?” Jonghyun smiles at him and rubs his thumb across Junmyeon’s skin reassuringly. “It’s unfair for you, too. I see you try, and I appreciate it, but you don’t have to force yourself to feel something for another person. This person will be very lucky to have you too, Junmyeon. Give it a shot.”

“I’ll try.” He hums, and hesitates before asking. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure. What’s on your mind?” Jonghyun, in the short time they spent together, has developed a radar to know when something is really bothering him. He is quite grateful for it.

“How did you know that you still like your old crush?” Junmyeon asks. “How do you know you haven’t moved on?”

“Easy. I tried imagining all our dates but instead of you, I went out with him.” The latter shrugs, smiling sadly. “I was happy during our dates, mind, but when I imagined being with him, I was just...well, happier. In a really different way. Being with you is great, and I regret no second of it, but being with him just felt right.”

Junmyeon goes back to all the times when he’d think of how Kyungsoo would love this restaurant, or hate this movie, or enjoy this game, or like the view. Often he’d choose something they’d both like, like Italian and Japanese and all-day breakfast and steak, and whenever Jonghyun introduces him to something new he’d consider whether he’d bring Kyungsoo there. It has always been about Kyungsoo. Somewhere in his repressed feelings, he’s there.

“It feels right with this person too, doesn’t it?” Jonghyun asks softly, and Junmyeon nods, swallowing the huge lump in his throat. Jonghyun only smiles even wider and squeezes his hand again. “Give it another shot, Junmyeon. Maybe this time, things will work out.”

“I hope so, Jjong,” He says sadly, quietly, and they go back to their dinners and random talks and anywhere away from longing and unrequited love.

(When Junmyeon drops him off at his house, Jonghyun hugs him fiercely and says, “Don’t be a stranger, okay?” He pinches him on the side and berates him for even _thinking_ they won’t stay friends, and they part ways with a laugh and a promise of a drinking session about their lost loves soon. He’s looking forward to it.

When Junmyeon gets home, he messages Kyungsoo a simple, “We broke up.” Kyungsoo immediately calls him back and demands for his address, and like Jongdae, barges into his apartment with ice cream and a long hug. He doesn’t pry about the breakup or why it happened, and Junmyeon relishes in the warmth and the silence as they watch Mulan on the couch. Kyungsoo falls asleep curled up on the couch, head almost pillowed on Junmyeon’s shoulder, but not quite. He sighs and maneuvers him into a better lying position and covers him with a blanket before retreating to his own bedroom.)

 

 

 

 

 

After much beating around the bush, a dozen scrapped plans, and an emotional breakdown that made Junmyeon drive to Jongdae’s apartment with soju and ice cream at 2 in the morning, Jongdae finally proposes to Heize on a mundane Wednesday evening while they’re having dinner at home. Naturally, the Kim Brothers throw an impromptu screaming fest on Kakaotalk. And as the groom’s self-proclaimed best friend, Junmyeon get special scream fest privileges via phone call, and they gush like teenagers for a good five minutes before Jongdae’s parents called. Now, Junmyeon is juggling talking to the extremely jittery bride and trying not to burn this shrimp stir-fry he’s attempting to make.

“He proposed to me while I had an avocado face mask on, Junmyeon, now I can’t post cute engagement photos because I look horrible!” Heize complains, Jongdae screeching faintly in the background. She doesn’t sound _that_ mad, though. “But tell me, he was actually planning on hiring TVXQ! to serenade me in Lotte World? Isn’t that a little too much?”

“I think it’ll be cute, Heize. If you do post a photo, I’ll still like it even if your face is the same color as Princess Fiona.” Junmyeon assures her with a smile even as he struggles to flip the shrimp. Heize has always liked him best out of the Kim Brothers, mainly because they’re of the same age. Her music isn’t his style but he buys all of her albums anyway, and she signs them whenever she comes to KBWMs with a laugh and a reminder that she can give them to him for free (he always conveniently ‘forgets’). “And yes, he was. If you think that’s grandiose, don’t ask about his other plans.”

“I think I’m going to need to hire a wedding planner after all, just to keep him in check,” Heize says gloomily, and Junmyeon laughs as he tosses some frozen vegetables into the pan. Engaged problems, he supposes as he adds a dash of salt to his (already overcooked) stir-fry. He can’t relate, but they’re pretty damn funny.

(Kyungsoo finds out about an hour after he does, and he spends the next ten minutes spamming Junmyeon about the news even if he knew that Jongdae (well, technically it was Heize) called him the moment their rings were on. “I’m so excited!!!!!!!!” One of his messages reads, and Junmyeon snorts because Kyungsoo is so hyped up about someone else’s love life yet he couldn’t care less about his own. The irony.)

Naturally, as the Kim Brother with the biggest penchant for flair and theatrics, Jongdae throws an engagement party at Diamond Bar, an upscale bar in Gangnam that is modeled after the jazz bars in old black-and-white mafia films that Minseok likes so much. It’s semiformal, and everyone and their neighbors are invited. Naturally, Junmyeon receives his invite for two people with three measly days to fill the plus one spot. Heize, bless her soul, still expects him to bring a plus one, despite what everyone in the group says. Hell, Junmyeon didn’t even get a plus one for Luhan and Minseok’s wedding, and this was during the time of the boys actively meddling with his love life. Heize is too pure for this world. He wishes he has that much faith in his own flirting skills.

“So who will you take to Jongdae’s party?” Kyungsoo asks him as he carefully slices fresh mozzarella into big fat rounds. This is a new thing they do these days, cook dinner and eat in Junmyeon’s apartment. Kyungsoo is devoted to his new diet regimen from his fitness trainer that needs strict portion measurements and all that. Junmyeon is a doctor and he cares a lot about his health and figure, but he just couldn’t care less about portioning, okay? He has patients to cure and cookies from Soojung to gobble up while watching Black Mirror to manually count beans or something. Still, he’s a supportive friend (and the #1 fan of Kyungsoo’s cooking), so his kitchen is open for Kyungsoo to use. Right now, the latter is making lasagna out of zucchinis or whatever. The sauce bubbling away in his stove smells so good, Junmyeon is trying very hard to not sneak a bite. Preferably with bread, but Kyungsoo is on a low-carb diet.

“No one. I don’t bring plus ones even if I have two seats.” Junmyeon shrugs, munching on a carrot stick that Kyungsoo cut up for Byeol. Should he dip this in the sauce? Tempting. “It’s no big deal, don’t get worked up about it.

“Yeah, but you just broke up with Jonghyun.” Kyungsoo points out, and Junmyeon would be hurt if the breakup had been messy. But no, he’s actually waiting for Jonghyun to give him an update on his bowtie choice for the party (Junmyeon wanted a dark blue pinstriped one for him, but he has his eyes on a green one with dinosaurs because _they’re cute, Kim Junmyeon, fricking fight me_ ), so he just shrugs again and tosses the other half of his carrot to his dog.

“Kyungsoo, I told you a million times, Jjong and I are good friends now. The breakup was mutual and clean, and we already hung out a couple of times after. It’s cool. I’m okay.” Junmyeon assures him, eyes trained on the pot of sauce. God, it smells so good. What’s in that pot? Tomatoes, herbs, and a dash of black magic? Kyungsoo notices him staring and sighs before ladling him some into a small bowl that Junmyeon usually uses for soy sauce during sushi nights.

“Still, it must hurt to be around so much love after a missed shot at one. Even just a little bit,” The latter says as he places the bowl in front of him. Junmyeon bites back an _it hurt more when you cut things off with me_ and just dunks his carrot in sauce. Good stuff.

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t go to my best friend’s engagement party because I’ll just feel more alone?” Junmyeon asks, a little put off at this conversation. Kyungsoo is so stubborn, sometimes. “I’m not _that_ selfish, Kyungsoo. I’m a grown adult, I can handle a few couples making out at a close proximity without throwing a hissy fit.”

“No, I’m saying maybe you should find a plus one. To help ease the pain a little,” Kyungsoo replies patiently as he starts building the veggie lasagna. “It’s not good to be always alone, you know.”

Junmyeon suppresses a loud sigh and counts slowly from one to ten in his mind before speaking. “Kyungsoo. May I remind you that while I am dubbed by my friends as Seoul’s most eligible bachelor, I am still woefully single. Where, pray tell, will I pick up a date in three days?”

“I could go with you,” Kyungsoo says unceremoniously, and Junmyeon drops the carrot he was holding.

“E-excuse me?” Are his ears deceiving him? Doh ‘I’m not looking for a relationship right now’ Kyungsoo is volunteering to be his plus one? To an engagement party?

“Why not? It’ll be fun. I’ll keep you company all night and help you ward off nosy people who’ll inevitably ask when will _your_ wedding be. We can drink wine and dance and then go home early.” Kyungsoo shrugs, sprinkling parmesan and breadcrumbs on top of his creation. It actually looks pretty good, but Junmyeon is too shaken up by his words to even glance at it. “Oh! If you think it’ll be weird, don’t. Friends go as their friends’ plus ones _all_ the time. One time, my cousin brought a friend to a family dinner and everyone thought they were dating, and it was so funny, they were really pretending and—“

Junmyeon tunes out the rest of Kyungsoo’s happy babble as his world crashes once again around him. _Friend._ Kyungsoo will be going with him as a _friend_. Not because he wants to, but because of an obligation to be a pillar of support to a _friend_. What was he thinking, getting his hopes up? Of course Kyungsoo only wants to go as friends. He didn’t even want to date, let alone go to a party as a couple. Damn, Junmyeon, back at it again with breaking your heart with unrealistic expectations that you put on mundane circumstances.

“So, what do you think?” Kyungsoo asks, and he jolts back to reality. “Want me to go with you?”

“Sure,” Junmyeon agrees weakly, and he earns a heart-shaped smile before the latter busies himself with dinner. He sags against the dining chair and wonders what he has gotten himself into this time.

(Later, in the group chat, he types:

 

> _Group:_ **KIM BROS RULEZ!!!**
> 
> **myeontokki** : i may have done something dumb  
>  **myeontokki** : also dae i’m bringing a plus one to ur party ok  
>  **jongdaerulez** : YOOOOOOOOOOO  
>  **jongdaerulez** : BEST WEDDING GIFT EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK U GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
>  **jongnini** : ooh who’s the lucky person, hyung???  
>  **minseokkim** : why do i feel like those two sentences are connected???

_Well_ , Junmyeon thinks as he stares at his friends’ replies, uncertainty bubbling in his gut, _Minseok’s not wrong_.)

 

 

 

 

 

As expected, Jongdae nearly faints when Junmyeon and Kyungsoo arrive together at the bar, the producer’s arm wrapped loosely around the doctor’s. It would be funny if Junmyeon is trying his best not to combust right there and then at the warmth of Kyungsoo’s arm seeping into his skin, right through his suit jacket.

“You—you’re Junmyeon’s plus one?” He asks, voice even higher than before. “ _You?_ ”

“Me,” Kyungsoo answers cheerfully, bowing his head to Heize respectfully as she walks over to check on her alarmingly pale fiancé. “Congratulations on your engagement, Dahye-ssi.”

“Thank you! I’m a fan of your work, Kyungsoo-ssi,” Heize gushes, and they start conversing about OSTs and Heize’s recent cameo on one of the dramas that Kyungsoo is working on. Junmyeon stands quietly beside them, still attached to Kyungsoo. He doesn’t know if he can move away or if he should wait—he hasn’t brought a plus one _ever_ , okay? Cut him some slack.

Thankfully, Jongdae comes to his senses and stops gaping at them. “Junmyeon, can I talk to you for a second? The boys are over there,” He says, voice controlled. His eyes, however, are wide with panic.

Junmyeon instinctively looks at Kyungsoo for approval, who nods and smiles warmly at him. “It seems important. I’ll meet you at the bar, okay?” The latter says, giving his wrist a soft squeeze (Jongdae makes a strangled noise) before going back to his conversation with Heize. Junmyeon is promptly dragged away by Jongdae to the mezzanine, where Jongin and Minseok are lounging in comfy-looking leather sofas and nursing glasses of whiskey.

“Hey, where’s your plus one?” Minseok asks, raising his glass in greeting as they both take a seat.

“Yeah, Junmyeon, why don’t you tell them _who_ your plus one is.” Jongdae pipes up challengingly, picking up the abandoned whiskey glass on the table—must be his—and drains it unceremoniously.

Junmyeon gulps and looks from Minseok, who’s waiting concernedly, to Jongin, who’s waiting expectantly, to Jongdae, who looks like he’s about to burst into a fit at any moment, before sighing and wringing his hands. “Um, Kyungsoo’s downstairs with Heize—“

Minseok chokes on his whiskey and Jongin almost drops his glass. “You brought _Kyungsoo_?” They chorus disbelievingly, and Jongdae lets out a long-suffering sigh.

“He kind of...persuaded me? He was worried that I’ll feel really lonely tonight if I attend alone because I just broke up with Jjong so he...kind of...volunteered to go? With me?” Junmyeon explains tentatively, recoiling at the disbelieving glares he gets from the three of them.

“So you weren’t kidding when you said you did something dumb.” Minseok sighs, rubbing his temples to stave off an incoming headache. “Junmyeon, _why_? Why do you do this to yourself?”

“Since when did you feel lonely in parties like these? Aren’t you used to like, flying solo?” Jongdae asks.

“Hey, I always feel alone especially when you guys have your dates and all I have is my wine glass or something—“ Junmyeon protests, but immediately stops when all three of his friends soften their glares to something more pitying. Oops, he forgot he never voiced this concern out, and he quickly shakes his head and scrambles to rectify it. “But it’s no big deal! I told Kyungsoo it wasn’t a big deal but he wouldn’t listen, so. There.”

“Well then, we’re thankful he’s here to keep you company, then,” Jongin says. “But hyung, are _you_ okay? Having him as your plus one even if you guys...well, couldn’t date?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. And anyway, we’re here as friends, so it’s cool.” Junmyeon shrugs, and the pitying stares suddenly turn skeptic. “What? Friends can go as plus ones. He said so.”

“Sure, Junmyeon. We can go with that.” Jongdae rolls his eyes, and Minseok hides a snicker. Junmyeon looks at Jongin questioningly, and the youngest shakes his head.

“Hyung, I hate to be the party pooper, but friends don’t. They probably do, but not in something as intimate as an engagement party,” Jongin explains. “It’s just...weird. I for one wouldn’t go as any of your plus ones to a wedding, all existing partners aside.”

“Love you all, but same,” Minseok chimes in, and Jongdae nods fervently in agreement.

“Look, we’re just friends, okay? It’s what good friends do—support each other when they’re down. It’s cool. We’re cool. Best bros.” Junmyeon sighs again and cranes his neck to look for a waiter. He needs alcohol in his system if he wants to survive his friends’ interrogation, stat—

“Oh! There they are!”

Heize’s voice cuts through the jazzy rendition of some Beatles song, and all four of them turn to look at the supermodel power walking towards them, a noticeably smaller Kyungsoo at her heels. _Cute,_ Junmyeon thinks before squashing the thought down. _No. Bad brain._ Heize bends down to kiss Jongdae on the cheek before sitting primly on the arm of the sofa. Junmyeon scoots over and makes room for Kyungsoo, and the latter squeezes in gratefully. It’s a tight fit, their thighs pressing against each other and Kyungsoo leaning slightly against Junmyeon, but they manage.

“Hey, I got you a drink in case a server hasn’t come up here yet.” Kyungsoo pushes a cold glass of rum coke into Junmyeon’s hands, which he accepts gratefully and takes a long sip. “So—“

“So you’re the famous Doh Kyungsoo!” Minseok booms, and _oh no_. It’s the Kim Brothers interrogation for any potential Kim-in-law. Junmyeon’s eyes widen and he frantically shakes his head, but the eldest pays him no mind. “Kim Minseok. PE teacher at the School of St. John. Pleased to finally meet the friend Jongdae and Junmyeon kept talking about.”

“Nice to meet you, too.” Kyungsoo reaches over and shakes Minseok’s hand gracefully.

“Dr. Kim Jongin, veterinarian.” Jongin leans over and gets a handshake himself. Whenever Jongin introduces himself as ‘doctor,’ the interrogation is _intense_. “So you’re Kyungsoo? Hyung’s plus one?”

“Jongin,” Junmyeon warns, but everyone—even Heize, who is snickering behind a glass of sangria—pays him no mind, again.

“I am.” Kyungsoo nods, still keeping his cool even when the eldest and the youngest are obviously grilling him. “I understand how lonely it may be for someone who just broke off a relationship to be alone on a night intended to celebrate a union, and I didn’t want Junmyeon to be alone.”

“Oh, how thoughtful of you. As his friends, we really do appreciate the sentiment. We can only protect him so much, you know?” Minseok says, smiling angelically. He takes a slow, measured sip of whiskey before asking, “So are you two dating?”

“Minseok hyung, please,” Junmyeon says, horrified. Heize and Jongdae chortle beside him, and Jongin hides a snort behind his glass.

Kyungsoo, still calm and collected as ever, shakes his head and smiles. “No, we’re just good friends,” He replies, placing a hand on Junmyeon’s knee and squeezing slightly. Everyone zeroes in on the movement, but the producer pays them no mind. Junmyeon as well, but because he’s focusing more on not melting at the extremely intimate touch. “I’m here as his friend.”

“Didn’t know you could do that,” Jongin hums thoughtfully, and Kyungsoo laughs.

“It’s quite unconventional, yes, but I’d break barriers for a friend any day,” He replies, and Minseok and Jongin seem appeased by his answer. _Phew._

Jongdae, too, seems satisfied with the torture, because he clears his throat and stands up. “Hey, you guys, my parents are downstairs. Want to say hi? This area is reserved for family anyway, so we can go back here later.” He announces, and everyone scrambles up to greet the parents. Junmyeon lets out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding, and Kyungsoo laughs at him.

“You okay? You seem tense there.” He asks, patting his knee fondly as the rest of the group stand up. “Your friends are nice. I like them. They really look out for you.”

_No, they wanted to intimidate you after you broke my heart before._ Junmyeon swallows and smiles back weakly. “Sure, we can go with that. Sorry about the, um, interrogation.”

“Plus one duties. All in a day’s work. Now let’s go.” Kyungsoo stands up and holds out a hand, and Junmyeon hesitantly takes it before following him down the stairs, the latter guiding him down like he’s some sort of a prince walking down a grand staircase. He relinquishes his hold on his hand when they reach the ground floor, but Kyungsoo moves his hand to rest on the small of his back, anchoring him and letting him know he’s there. Another plus one duty, Junmyeon supposes. Kyungsoo is pretty dedicated at his job.

Perhaps ‘pretty dedicated’ is downplaying it, because Kyungsoo is acting like the perfect plus one. He never leaves Junmyeon’s side, and when a few coworkers chat him up, he makes sure to either assure Junmyeon with a touch or a glance that he’s nearby, or include him in conversations. He gets Junmyeon drinks (nonalcoholic ones, because Junmyeon’s driving) and a plate of canapés whenever he’s out. He sits close to him when the entire Kim-in-law family migrate back to the mezzanine, catching up with Luhan as his hand rests reassuringly on Junmyeon’s thigh. As promised, he also helps stave off questions from his coworkers about Jonghyun and Junmyeon, and also saves him from a slightly drunk and overenthusiastic group of girls from HR who tried to attack Junmyeon with awful flirting and coy fluttering of fake eyelashes.

Junmyeon admits it’s nice to have a plus one. He can see why his friends always bring one along. It’s the reassurance of knowing someone will always be with you, even when the beats turn sicker and the hour gets later. It’s the intimacy in such a crowded place, something he appreciates because he doesn’t like crowds that much. And really, he’s just a tactile person, so he appreciates the gentle touches too. But he couldn’t help but be a little sad about everything, because Kyungsoo is just doing everything as a friend. And maybe _this_ is friendship in his book, but damn, Junmyeon doesn’t grab the fuck out of Minseok’s thigh whenever they’re out (even if they’re very nice). A hug or a squeeze of the wrist is fine, but a hand on his back all night? Nimble fingers drumming every so often against his thigh? A head leaning against his shoulder whenever he laughs so hard? Junmyeon has the inexplainable urge to yell, “No homo!” every time they touch, and especially to everyone who asks them if they’re dating. Which is to say, a lot. Kyungsoo always laughs and shakes his head, telling them “We’re just good friends!” as he pats Junmyeon’s shoulder, but he keeps his hand there and looks at him warmly and Junmyeon is, well, confused. But they’re here as _friends_ , even if Kyungsoo’s actions speak otherwise, and so Junmyeon pushes those thoughts back into his head and relishes in the warmth of Kyungsoo’s back leaning on his chest. Jongin raises a brow at how close they’re sitting, but he dutifully ignores him and turns to Soojung, asking her about work.

When the party finally ends, Junmyeon drives Kyungsoo home as usual. “Thank you for accompanying me today,” He says as they slow down to a stop in front of Kyungsoo’s apartment complex. “You were right, it was much more fun with someone. I can imagine feeling out of place when Soojung and Luhan came up.”

“And this is why you should listen to me more.” Kyungsoo teases, and Junmyeon hits him lightly on the arm. “I’m kidding! I had fun, too. Your friends are great, and you’re not so bad yourself.”

“Okay, that’s it, get out of my car,” Junmyeon says in mock anger, and the latter laughs before reaching over to hug him briefly.

“Thanks for tonight. Drive safe, okay?” Kyungsoo smiles at him before stepping out of the car. Junmyeon watches him disappear inside those revolving doors before driving away, a silly smile on his face. Silly banter, casual touches, and wide, genuine smiles. If this is friendship with Kyungsoo, then he’s fine with this.

(Later, in the group chat:

 

> _Group:_ **KIM BROS RULEZ!!!**
> 
> **minseokkim** : for someone who doesn’t want to date junmyeon, kyungsoo sure is quite affectionate eh?  
>  **jongnini** : DID U SEE THE WAY HE LOOKED AT HIM. EVERY SINGLE TIME. UGH MY HEART.  
>  **jongdaerulez** : #kyungmyeon #otp  
>  **myeontokki** : lol guys we’re just friends  
>  **jongnini** : yeah me too soojung’s just my lab partner  
>  **minseokkim** : same, luhan and i? totally no homo  
>  **jongdaerulez** : dahye who???  
>  **myeontokki** : WHATEVER)

 

 

 

 

 

If the ‘just friends’ excuse is a credit card, then Junmyeon and Kyungsoo might be close to maxing its credit limit out, what with the frequency of the excuse popping out in their routines. Going to movie screenings together regularly _as friends_. Trying out a new restaurant every month _as friends_. Constantly texting each other _as friends_. Hanging out at Junmyeon’s apartment watching Disney movies in sweats, snuggled up on the couch _as friends_. Kyungsoo cooking up meals for them and even sometimes Junmyeon’s packed lunch _as a friend_. Junmyeon picking up Kyungsoo from work whenever he misses the last bus _as a friend_. The list goes on and on as they grow even closer as friends, and eventually the excuse just doesn’t work anymore because they don’t _need_ it anymore. They’re close enough that they’ll get mistaken for a couple everywhere they go and they’ll just laugh it off. They’re close enough for Junmyeon to wear his beloved velour tracksuits whenever they hang out (spring is here but it’s still chilly, okay?) and Kyungsoo will scathingly remark on it without even batting an eyelash. They’re close enough for Junmyeon to just casually rest his arm or his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder and the latter will let him. They’re close enough that Kyungsoo is now part of his most used contacts, and has even surpassed Baekhyun. They’re just really, really, _really_ close friends.

But that’s it. Friends.

Does Junmyeon want things to change? Well, yes and no. Yes because deep inside, like way deep inside, he still wants Kyungsoo to be his boyfriend and maybe his lifelong partner. No because sadly, he has rationalized all of their actions to his friends so often that he himself is now a believer of them being just good friends. And hey, nothing wrong with a good ol’ friendship, right? Junmyeon has uttered the excuse so often that now it’s just the truth to him. Kyungsoo can back hug him at any moment and he’ll brush it off as the latter being weirdly cuddly again. He won’t even think of a future when they could cuddle all day and no one will protest, nor will his heart pick up speed or the butterflies in his stomach go haywire, because they’re just friends. Friends do that.

Has he moved on, then? Junmyeon thinks yes. He has accepted that they’ll be friends, that’s all they’ll ever be, and he’s okay with that. Minseok, Jongdae, and Jongin, however, think otherwise.

“Your feelings are just suppressed, not exactly gone. Out of sight, but not out of mind.” The eldest explains as they talk about it over coffee and banoffee pies at Café Universe, trying to get the taste of the awfully cooked Thai food that they just had. “You just need a momentous event and bam, hello feelings, my old friend.”

“Hyung, he slept on my shoulder the other night and all I could think about was him drooling on my sweatshirt.” Junmyeon rolls his eyes. “Why is it so hard to accept that I have already moved on?”

“Because you haven’t. Trust us, we see the way you look at him, it’s still like he’s the best thing since instant coffee.” Jongdae butts in. “It’s just full of affection and love. It’s quite sickening.”

“Yeah, that’s because he’s my _friend_ , and I do care about him a lot,” He says with as much patience as he could muster. “Maybe you’re just reading too much into this.”

Jongin has yet to speak, but when everyone looks at him, he just shrugs and takes a bite of pie. “Whatever makes hyung happy,” He acquiesces with a soft sigh.

“See? That’s what friends do, support them and cheer them on in their road to moving on. Thank you, Jongin.” Junmyeon smiles at him, but Jongin doesn’t smile back.

“I’m not saying I support you, hyung. I too think you just suppressed your feelings, and that’s bad. It’s unfair, especially to you.” The vet looks at him with sad and slightly disappointed eyes. “But you pretty much conditioned yourself to write off everything as friendship, and it doesn’t look like I can sway you, so whatever makes you happy, hyung.”

Everyone eats in silence after that. Jongin rarely speaks up, but when he does, it hits right home. Is he right? Or is Junmyeon right? Has he really moved on? Or is he still hung up on Kyungsoo, deep down? No one knows, really, and when Junmyeon goes back home to his empty apartment, for once he doesn’t know if he wants someone to be with him or not.

 

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon wasn’t planning on going infor a night shift at the hospital, but one of the residents suddenly fucks up the charts in the ER and he had to help fix the mess _and_ manage the ER, which is why he is only peeling off his mask and gloves a little past midnight, a good six hours later than his supposed time out. All in a day’s work, he supposes as he rolls his neck around to release some of the tension. God, he’s tired. He can’t wait to go back home, run himself a bath, and then—

His phone starts ringing shrilly just as he steps out of the hospital, and Junmyeon _almost_ doesn’t want to answer it. Why can’t they bother other doctors? With a loud sigh, he pulls out his phone from his scrubs’ pocket and accepts the call without looking at the caller ID. “Hello, Dr. Kim Junmyeon speaking.”

“Oh, Junmyeon, thank God.” Jongdae’s relieved voice is muffled by loud music in the background, and Junmyeon wonders where he is on such a late hour. “Where are you?”

“Uh, just got out of the hospital. On my way back home to have dinner delivered or something. Why?” He asks hesitantly.

“Listen, do you think you can swing by Ko Ko Bar in Gangnam?” Jongdae says. “It’s our company party to celebrate the end of awards season—“

“Dae, I’m really not in the mood to drink right now,” Junmyeon replies as he walks towards his car, heavy footsteps echoing in the almost empty parking lot. “If you have no ride home, I’ll just call you a taxi or something—“

“No, not me, it’s Kyungsoo.” Jongdae cuts him off impatiently, and his heart sinks to his stomach. “He’s dead drunk and no one is sober enough to drive him home. I’d volunteer but I just finished my third beer and I’m not confident in my driving skills. I’m not sure where he lives so I can’t call up a taxi, please I’m—“

Junmyeon almost drops his phone in his haste to unlock his car. “I’ll be there soon,” He says tersely before throwing his phone on the passenger seat and driving out of the parking lot, his tires squealing as he all but zooms through Seoul traffic. All exhaustion in his body turns into pure panic as he takes shortcut after shortcut, muscle memory taking over because the pounding in his ears is so loud, it drowns the sound of the GPS on his dashboard. His mind is blank, and the only thing that’s keeping him sane is his incessant praying that Kyungsoo is okay, that he’ll hold the fort up for a little longer.

(A part of him wonders why he’s panicking so much. Kyungsoo’s not in imminent danger, anyway, but the adrenaline in his veins is singing so loudly, it renders this voice of reason useless.)

With a lot of time to spare (and probably around seven traffic laws bent), Junmyeon finds himself sidling into a parking space in front of Ko Ko Bar. It’s a futuristic bar lit with neon signs of coconut trees and plants and martini glasses, and they serve fantastic cocktails. But right now, Junmyeon’s only concern is to get to Kyungsoo. Flashing his doctor’s ID to the bouncer in front, he weaves his way through the sweaty crowd and into the private area marked with the logo of SM Records. He looks extremely out of place in his olive green scrubs and his doctor’s coat, but he knocks twice on the door anyway, and waits for Jongdae to look up. Thankfully, it’s audible enough for the said man to tear his eyes away from his phone and spot him.

“Oh my god, you’re here.” Jongdae breathes, relieved as he makes his way towards him. Almost immediately, he spots Junmyeon’s sweaty brow and shortness of breath, and he raises a brow. “You didn’t rush here, did you?”

“Nah. Where’s Kyungsoo? Is he okay?” Junmyeon lies through his teeth as he cranes his neck to find the man, almost sighing in relief when he finally spots him. Kyungsoo is sitting alone on the corner table, glassy round eyes staring at his phone as he picks at the screen protector. To Junmyeon’s surprise, the latter promptly peels it off, blinks at it, then proceeds to put it back on.

“Drunk Kyungsoo likes fixing screen protectors,” Jongdae explains as they approach him. He taps Kyungsoo on the shoulder and says loudly, “Kyungsoo-ah, Junmyeon’s here.”

The said man looks up slowly and blinks before a wide, goofy smile spreads across his face. His eyes turn into little crescents and his round, flushed cheeks glow with joy. “Junmyeon,” He says happily, reaching up and pulling him down for a hug. He leans down and plants a loud, theatrical kiss on the side of Junmyeon’s head, making him blush and Jongdae snicker. “Helloooooo.”

“Hi. You okay?” Junmyeon asks, straightening up but keeping a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

“Mm, just a little sleepy.” Kyungsoo hums, leaning against his side and closing his eyes. “Just need a nap.”

“Drunk Kyungsoo is also very affectionate, in case you haven’t noticed,” Jongdae says, and Junmyeon rolls his eyes at him as he wordlessly hauls Kyungsoo up, winding a strong arm around his waist to steady him. “You’ll be okay?”

“Yup. You get home safely too, all right? Text me if you need me to book you a taxi.” Junmyeon claps him on the shoulder before slightly nudging Kyungsoo. “Let’s go Soo, let me take you home.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo says and immediately starts humming one of his compositions, Take You Home (one of Junmyeon’s favorites). His voice is pleasantly warm and low, and Junmyeon can hear it even as they hobble out of the bar. He’s not a deadweight, but he does trip on his own feet from time to time so Junmyeon needs to support him. Still, Junmyeon manages to help him into the passenger’s seat without a hitch. Jongdae’s a messy drunk, so he’s glad he’s taking care of Kyungsoo and not his friend.

“Okay, Kyungsoo, can you give me your keys?” Junmyeon says as he closes the door to the driver’s seat, and looks over to find the producer already fast asleep. Oh no. He just couldn’t do a body search now, can he? Besides, Kyungsoo is wearing a bomber jacket with a lot of pockets. It’ll be tough to find. With a sigh, Junmyeon backs the car out and heads back to his own apartment. Impromptu sleepover it is.

During the entire car ride, Kyungsoo is just sleeping soundly, occasionally making soft sounds but otherwise just dozed the time away. When they finally arrive back to Junmyeon’s apartment complex, he rouses awake enough to lean onto Junmyeon without being too heavy, and they quietly make their way up to his flat. Junmyeon lets Kyungsoo lean onto him as he brushes his teeth for him with a spare toothbrush, and the latter obediently opens his mouth or clenches his teeth or spits out foam whenever Junmyeon gently tells him to. Junmyeon then pats his face lightly with a damp cloth and pushes a glass of water into his hands, which Kyungsoo obediently drains before all but flopping down Junmyeon’s bed. He’s quite a low-maintenance drunk, only wanting someone to cling onto, but otherwise not a pain in the ass at all. Junmyeon thanks the heavens for a quiet and hassle-free night as he goes to get some painkillers in his medicine cabinet.

But perhaps he spoke too soon, because when he comes back and fixes the bedside for Kyungsoo’s convenience tomorrow morning (painkillers and bottled water on the table, a trash bin for when Kyungsoo wants to throw up on the floor, and a towel on the side), the man calls for him softly. He looks so small, curled up in Junmyeon’s big bed. “Junmyeon?”

“Yeah?” He asks as he takes a seat beside him and starts tugging off his shoes and socks.

“If I ask a question, will you answer it honestly?” Kyungsoo asks, his voice almost inaudible. His eyes are closed, and he seems to be sleep talking.

“Sure. What’s up?” Kyungsoo’s trainers are double knotted, and Junmyeon struggles with untangling them.

Kyungsoo stays quiet for a long time, and Junmyeon thought he fell asleep, but then he suddenly says: “Did you regret it when we started over?”

Junmyeon drops the shoe he was holding.

“At Café Universe, I asked you if we could start over, because Soohyun fucked me up when he accused me of leading you on. You said yes.” Kyungsoo’s voice is almost slurred now, yet Junmyeon understands perfectly. “Do you regret it?”

They say drunk people are the most honest. So is this what Kyungsoo wants to ask him, but couldn’t when he’s sober? Are these the kind of thoughts that are in his mind? “What’s with the question?” He laughs, and hopes that Kyungsoo is drunk enough to not notice it quake.

“Mm, nothing. Just a thought.” Kyungsoo hums as he burrows closer to Junmyeon’s pillow. “Because I do. I really, really do.”

Junmyeon drops the other shoe and whirls to face him, confront him even, but the man lets out a soft snore. So Kyungsoo regrets starting over, but he doesn’t want a relationship. So what does he want? For this to be over? For them to enter a state of limbo where they’re not dating but they act like it anyway? For a fuck buddy, someone to keep him warm but not love him? Suddenly the exhaustion from his long work day and running around and _this_ crashes back, and Junmyeon has had _enough_. He stands up, tucks Kyungsoo under the blanket, and stalks off to the living room. He grabs a spare blanket and pillow set from the hall closet and drops onto the couch. He’s just so _tired_ , of everything and everyone, yet it’s only when the hour is even later and the sky starts to lighten did he fall asleep, plagued with confusion and doubts and all the feelings he has tried so hard to not feel anymore.

Because news flash, friends don’t rush after a deadly double shift to pick your drunk ass off a bar, brush your teeth for you, tuck you in bed, and get the damn uncomfortable couch. Friends don’t want to cuddle you up in bed and fall asleep cradling you in their arms. Friends don’t lose sleep and cry rivers over a drunken excuse of a confession. Friends don’t wish that they can turn back time to undo their stupid starting over thing. Friends don’t get angry over a missed opportunity to be together. Junmyeon does all that, wants all that, wishes all that, feels all that. He wants to shake the drunkenness away from Kyungsoo so he can yell at his face how awful he felt when they had to start over, and how Kyungsoo has no damn right to tell him that he regrets it too because _he_ was the one who wanted it and Junmyeon only wanted to keep him by his side. He wants to smash a plate for every time Kyungsoo writes things off as being friends when in fact all Junmyeon wants is to kiss him and hold him and spoil him and call him his. He wants to go back to Ko Ko Bar and drink his pain away because that’s what he does best, run away from the heartaches Kyungsoo gives him and pretends things are okay. He wants to call up his friends and tell them _you’re right, I still love Kyungsoo, I’m sorry I’m dumb_ because they’ve seen through his shitty façade all along yet he was so stubborn to listen because he wants to do what makes Kyungsoo happy, and if he just wants to stay friends, then they’ll stay friends. He wants to be selfish for once and choose himself for once and stop putting Kyungsoo first for once.

But he can’t. So he sleeps.

(Junmyeon wakes up to pained groaning and the shuffling of feet. Kyungsoo has finally awakened, with a gargantuan headache and a grumbling stomach to boot. They eat toast together and chug coffee in silence.

“You seem pretty plastered when I picked you up, do you even remember anything about last night?” Junmyeon teases him as he passes the jar of Nutella.

“I don’t even remember you picking me up, I think I blacked out after Jongdae made us all chug an entire pint,” Kyungsoo says, massaging his temples to stave off the pain, and Junmyeon’s heart hurts. It must’ve shown on his face, because the latter frowns. “Why? Did I say something weird last night?”

“...No. More coffee?”)

 

 

 

 

 

It’s hard enough that Junmyeon finds out after so many months of living in blissful ignorance that he is still in love with Kyungsoo. It’s hard enough for him to be near the other man and try to control his feelings because they’re _just friends_. But no, Kyungsoo just has to act weirdly around him more now. Not even in a bad weird way, which could hurt but will eventually be easy to just ignore, but in a good weird way, that resurrects the butterflies in Junmyeon’s stomach after months of hibernation or whatever they did in there.

See, after the drunk episode, he and Kyungsoo have grown a lot closer. They hang out more, they talk even more often, they share more meals together, etcetera. But now their touches linger, their gazes lock for a little longer, and their meetings become more...intimate. And it’s weird because Kyungsoo isn’t touchy or a big fan of PDA, or relationships even, but now he just acts like...well, they’re a little more than friends. It’s everything Junmyeon wanted before, but Kyungsoo wasn’t ready to give, and now he’s like wrapping them all up in fancy sparkling paper and leaving them on his doorstep, a card with his name on it attached.

Like the one time they went to an art gallery in Myeongdong, Kyungsoo suddenly grabs his hand and tugs him towards this painting that he likes and _doesn’t let go_. And there’s another night when Junmyeon gets sick and Kyungsoo comes over and cooks him doenjang stew and nurses him back to health, even though he had insisted that it was just the flu and he was already taking meds. There was also that one time when they were at the mall because Junmyeon needs to buy dog food, and Kyungsoo suggested they buy these matching caps because “they’re buy one get one, what a steal!” Speaking of shopping, one random Sunday Kyungsoo drags him out of his apartment to help him shop for _curtains_ , of all things, and they argue like an old married couple until they decide on dark blue ones with silver tassels and trimmings. On movie nights in Junmyeon’s apartment, Kyungsoo will willingly cuddle up to him, an arm around his torso or socked feet up on his lap. During the times he’ll sleep over because it’s too late to go back to his own apartment and Junmyeon’s is nearer to his office anyway, Kyungsoo will insist on sharing the bed (“It’s big for two and way too big for one, honestly Junmyeon what were you thinking when you bought this?”) and will unconsciously scoot closer until his forehead will rest on Junmyeon’s shoulder, his fingers clutching his sleep shirt and their feet tangled together. He doesn’t shake away Junmyeon whenever he leans on him or places a hand on his shoulder anymore, and when they’re in a crowded area his first instinct will be to grab Junmyeon’s wrist. It’s great. Everything’s great, and Junmyeon’s heart is full.

But as enjoyable things are, Junmyeon is still scared to assume. Okay, so Kyungsoo is acting as if they’re dating, doing things that couples do. But maybe this is his brand of close friendship? Maybe he is just more comfortable with Junmyeon? Hell, maybe Junmyeon is reading too much into this? The reason why he can’t call Kyungsoo out is because the last time he tried his shot at a relationship with him, he ended up with a broken heart that he’s pretty sure is still not healed up to now. So really, he wants to know what this is, but he might be the only one who sees or feels that things have changed, so he can’t ask.

Life is hard.

“You’ve sighed more times in the past hour than the snoring patient in Bed 2C, and he’s been asleep all night,” Baekhyun remarks as he drops on the seat beside Junmyeon. They’re both on night shift today, and it’s the first time that night that the blond doctor has sat down after attending to the patients. Junmyeon himself has been going over charts since he clocked in, double checking the post-graduate interns’ diagnoses and theoretical work (prescription suggestions, and inferences from lab results), and his eyes hurt. The hospital’s harsh lighting and their bright teal scrubs are not helping, and for once Baekhyun is an eyesore. An attractive eyesore, Chanyeol would argue, but a pain in the retinas nonetheless.

“Glad to know your concern with regards to my breathing patterns, but I’m fine. Just a little tired.” He answers, rubbing his eyes under his glasses—yes, it’s that level of exhaustion that he whips out his glasses. Baekhyun wouldn’t understand his problems even if he tried. Chanyeol had just asked him to be his boyfriend about a month ago, and now they’re two puppies basking in love and rainbows and reassurance. Junmyeon, on the other hand, is a sad, lonely, and terribly confused bunny with a migraine. Life is truly unfair.

“Same. It’s just a toxic shift tonight, isn’t it? And I don’t even have my boyfriend to cuddle the tiredness away later when I go home.” Baekhyun pouts, stealing Junmyeon’s lukewarm mug of shitty hospital coffee and draining it with a wince. Chanyeol’s out on this conference with Jongin (KBWM is cancelled this week) and wouldn’t come back until after ten days.

“At least you have a boyfriend,” Junmyeon replies sympathetically as he slams a chart shut and moves on to the next one. Ugh, med students and their chicken scratch handwriting. Don’t kids take up penmanship classes these days?

“Maybe one day, Junmyeon, your bath salts will agree to marry you.” Baekhyun teases, and Sehun chooses this moment to kick the door open and dump another pile of paperwork from the interns, and he raises a brow when the blond doctor bursts out laughing.

“Hyung, you might want to tell your fiancée it’s going to be a long night, so it might want to be ready later. The interns’ evaluation are on the day after tomorrow, don’t forget. We need these by tonight.” He says, his lisp audible. He must be tired.

“Someone remind me why I’m a teaching assistant,” Junmyeon groans and plants his head on his desk, right on top of a shabbily written pathological report. His father is a medical school professor at the partner university of the hospital where he works in, and so he’s basically mandated to be one of the lucky ones who will check and grade post-graduate interns. He hates the end of the term.

“Your dad will disown you if you don’t help out?” Sehun supplies helpfully, and Baekhyun snickers. “Oh, and also, there’s someone for you.”

“Who?” Junmyeon asks, still not looking up. He hears footsteps walking away, and after a moment Baekhyun gasps in surprise. He opens his mouth to mutter an admonishment to stop being dramatic—

“Um, knock knock?”

—and promptly straightens up at the sound of a deep, velvety voice, his neck cracking loudly in the process. Kyungsoo is staring at Junmyeon bemusedly, a large canvas bag slung across his shoulder. “Hi?” He tries again, raising a hand and waving tentatively. He looks so small in his grey sweater and black jeans, his cap pulled low on his head.

“Kyungsoo!” Junmyeon jumps up and all but rushes to him, the latter immediately opening his arms both to cushion his impact and to wrap him in the best hug that sucks all of his exhaustion away, leaving behind nothing but fluff and happiness. They stay like that for a while, Kyungsoo’s cold fingers running across his back soothingly, until Baekhyun clears his throat and they both jump apart.

“Dr. Byun Baekhyun. Pediatrician, specializing in internal medicine.” The blond doctor holds out a hand, and Kyungsoo shakes it with a small smile. “So you’re Kyungsoo! Junmyeon talks about you a lot.”

“I don’t,” Junmyeon protests, but Kyungsoo laughs and seems to take it in stride.

“All good things, I hope,” He says. “Anyway, I hope I’m not intruding on anything...?”

“No, no, we’re due for a break anyway. Come sit!” Junmyeon quickly ushers him into one of the empty seats in front of his desk. “So what brings you here? Not that I don’t want you here! It’s just, um—isn’t it your day off today? Or technically, night off, I mean—“

“Junmyeon, sweetie, please shut up and breathe.” Baekhyun cuts his mindless, flustered blabber with a smile before turning to Kyungsoo. “So! What brings you to our lovely hospital tonight? Got a problem? Feeling something off? Need a dose of medicine? Missing Junmyeon a little more than usual?”

Kyungsoo’s ears turn pink as Junmyeon groans and slaps a hand on his forehead. God, Baekhyun is so embarrassing. “Oh no, I’m fine. I was uh, talking to Jongdae and he mentioned that you guys were really busy tonight, so...” He trails off as he reaches into his canvas bag. He pulls out a beautiful red bento box and hands it to Junmyeon. “I made you dinner in case you don’t get to eat again like last time.”

Junmyeon carefully removes the cover and is left breathless. There are stir-fried vegetables, jeon, a small covered bowl of soup, bulgogi, a blob of ssamjang, rice with sesame seeds, and pan-fried samgyupsal, already cut up and topped with grilled garlic. It’s still warm, and they all smell so good. His heart skips happily as his stomach grumbles—Kyungsoo is right, he hasn’t eaten anything since lunch. “Oh my god, Kyungsoo,” He manages to say, still staring in awe at the lunchbox. “Wow, this is...too much. You spent your day off working on this?”

“Well, yeah. I didn’t have much to do anyway.” Kyungsoo shrugs as he reaches into the canvas bag once more and pulls out a smaller container. “Baekhyun, I made you some food too, because Junmyeon talks about you a lot and, um. Yeah.”

“Ah, yes, he’s a little in love with me, I understand,” Baekhyun drawls, earning him a glare from Junmyeon. “Kidding! But thank you, Kyungsoo. I appreciate this!”

“Sure. Hope you uh, like it? It’s not as good as my mom’s cooking, but um, I tried...” Kyungsoo trails off uncertainly as he hands them metal chopsticks, and starts fidgeting with his fingers as Junmyeon clears his desk and makes room for dinner. It’s his nervous habit, and whenever he does it Junmyeon has the urge to grab his hand and intertwine their fingers so he doesn’t fidget anymore. But he doesn’t, because 1) Baekhyun is there and 2) he’s not sure if he’s allowed to, if only Kyungsoo clears up this whatever they’re in then maybe—

Ahem. Junmyeon shakes his head slightly to clear those thoughts away and takes a first bite of beef. Immediately, his taste buds begin to sing, his brain goes haywire, the heavens open, and somewhere, Gordon Ramsay feels abnormally threatened. “Oh my god.”

Baekhyun looks up from his own meal—a simpler bulgogi bibimbap, compared to Junmyeon’s feast—with wide eyes, his spoon still stuck in his mouth. His reaction is almost comical, but Junmyeon couldn’t bring himself to laugh because _same_.

“Is it that bad?” Kyungsoo asks warily, glancing between them nervously.

“Holy fuck, I want to marry this bibimbap.” Baekhyun announces, and turns to Junmyeon, a little wild-eyed. “Junmyeon, marry this man right now or I swear I’ll tie him to my kitchen so he can cook for me and Chanyeol until we are two round men like those in Wall-E. _I mean it._ ”

A year ago, Kyungsoo would’ve looked uncomfortable at the thought of being linked to Junmyeon, let alone the idea of _marrying_ him. But now, to Junmyeon’s surprise, the producer laughs and blushes a deep red before hiding his face in his hands, flustered.

“Baekhyun,” Junmyeon says warningly, but his face is probably redder than the bento box right now. “Just finish your food.”

“I call dibs on being the ring bearer,” Baekhyun replies, and Junmyeon chokes on a piece of pork. Kyungsoo simply blushes even deeper as he chuckles, too embarrassed to speak.

Later, when they’re done with dinner and Kyungsoo has left to run errands (but not before giving Junmyeon another long hug, which Baekhyun rudely interrupted yet again), Sehun goes up to him and asks, “Hyung, are you dating the small man who brought you dinner?”

“No—“ Junmyeon starts to say, but Baekhyun beats him to it.

“He’s his future fiancé. Get up, Junmyeon, we’re going ring shopping,” The blond doctor says, tugging his arm towards the door.

“Baekhyun, stop this marriage talk. He doesn’t even want to _date_ me.” Junmyeon deadpans, even as his stomach flips happily at the sound of Kyungsoo being his fiancé. Such a long shot, almost impossible, but a man can dream.

Sehun slurps loudly on his bubble tea. He probably asked another intern to get that for him. “Hyung, on my day off, I wouldn’t go out of my way to cook an entire meal and drive all the way to deliver it personally for my friend. You know who I’d do that for? My girlfriend.”

“True. And the fact that he made _me_ dinner too? He was doing that to impress you! He pays attention and wants to be close to your friends!” Baekhyun adds enthusiastically. “Maybe he’s wooing you, Junmyeon! Maybe he changed his mind about dating you!”

They do have a point. The Kim Brothers could complain that they’re hungry and the most that Junmyeon would do is to have food delivered their way. He wouldn’t slave away in the kitchen to make them lavish bento boxes, and then deliver them personally. But Kyungsoo did. And adding up to the other instances, and all his other actions, and maybe, just maybe, Baekhyun isn’t talking shit for once. But until Kyungsoo confirms it, everything is conjecture, so Junmyeon sighs and shrugs helplessly. “Maybe,” He acquiesces, because that’s all he can do.

(The news eventually reaches Jongdae, as all news does, and he makes sure to spam the group chat accordingly:

 

> _Group:_ **KIM BROS RULEZ!!!**
> 
> **jongdaerulez** : PSA: KYUNGSOO MADE JUNMYEON A BENTO BOX AND DELIVERED IT TO THE HOSPITAL  
>  **jongdaerulez** : DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAAAAAAAAAAR  
>  **jongdaerulez** : *CLANGS WEDDING BELLS FURIOUSLY*  
>  **minseokkim** : lol u two are soooo married. han doesn’t even make me breakfast sometimes  
>  **jongnini** : MY KYUNGMYEON HEART  
>  **jongnini** : luhan hyung tho hahahah  
>  **jongdaerulez** : kyungmyeon lol nice one nini  
>  **jongnini** : thank u!!!! ^ㅂ^  
>  **myeontokki** : ugh guys pls  
>  **myeontokki** : (it’s so good tho ㅠㅠ)  
>  **jongdaerulez** : HE’S SO SOFT I’M SHAKING  
>  **jongdaerulez** : MY SOFT BABIES  
>  **jongnini** : MY SHIP IS SAILING  
>  **minseokkim** : ugh just date already?!??!???!!  
>  **myeontokki** : lol i wish i could??  
>  **minseokkim** : u know things might’ve changed, maybe he wants a relationship now  
>  **jongdaerulez** : WITH U!!!!!!!!  
>  **minseokkim** : u should try asking him, it’s worth a shot anyway  
>  **jongnini** : have a little faith in love, hyung <3  
>  **myeontokki** : sighs maybe one day  
>  **jongdaerulez** : *subtly continues ringing wedding bells*  
>  **myeontokki** : FFS JONGDAE)

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo is usually cool and composed, never the one to get worked up about anything. One time Jongdae almost cried about a missing marketing report, and all he did was to grab the laptop away and type incessantly for about five minutes until he manages to pull an earlier draft of the said report from who knows where. Another time that Junmyeon dropped by their studio to bring him coffee and takeout sushi, Kyungsoo is the only one calmly sitting in the middle of a group of interns panicking about some editing gone wrong. He’s always on top of things, and whenever he’s not, he always takes the time to sit back and assess the situation first before thinking of a solution.

So it comes as a huge shock to Junmyeon when the man all but bursts into his flat the moment he opens the door, making a beeline for the couch and promptly flopping face first onto it.

“I’m dead,” Kyungsoo announces, voice muffled by the decorative pillow that he’s currently trying to smother himself with.

“Hello to you too,” Junmyeon replies, closing the door and padding towards the kitchen to finish washing his rice and turning on the rice cooker. “What’s the patient’s cause of death?”

In lieu of an answer, Kyungsoo pulls out a stiff lilac envelope and holds it up. Junmyeon shuffles over and takes it, nimble fingers prying the envelope open. “My cousin is getting married,” The producer, still facedown on the couch, explains. “And I may have done something incredibly dumb before that’s now biting me back in the ass.”

“And that is?” Junmyeon moves to gently take the pillow from under Kyungsoo’s face, lest he suffocates for real. In a moment of weakness that he will vehemently deny later, he carefully nudges the man so he can sit on the couch. He pats his lap the moment he settles down, and Kyungsoo immediately rests his head there, looking up at Junmyeon tiredly.

“At the last Do cousin wedding, I promised Ryeowook hyung I’d bring a plus one to _his_ wedding.” He continues, eyes fluttering close as Junmyeon begins to stroke his hair. It’s growing at a quite rapid rate, and his hair is now closely cropped with a slight fade at the sides. He looks extremely handsome. It’s not quite good for Junmyeon’s heart. “But that was like, four years ago. I thought they forgot, but—well, see for yourself. Open the envelope.”

Junmyeon does, and as he pulls out the invite a small yellow note falls out, landing straight on Kyungsoo’s forehead. He snickers and picks it up, and thick, messy handwriting, it reads:

_Don’t think I forgot your promise to bring a plus one! If you don’t bring one, I’ll set you up with a groomsman ;) -Ryeowookie hyung_

“Hmm.” He folds it again and opens the invite—indeed, at the bottom is a reservation for two seats under Kyungsoo’s name. “Well, this is a problem.”

“Is it rude not to attend? Can I fake an awards ceremony or something?” Kyungsoo groans, taking the invite from him and frowning at the RSVP section. “I’ll just buy him a super expensive wedding gift. A condo or something.”

“Kyungsoo, no. Don’t bribe them with a condo.” Junmyeon snorts, scratching his scalp lightly. His hair feels smooth and soft under his fingertips. “You should go. Just endure the date with the groomsman, he might be great after all.”

“No, I don’t trust Ryeowook hyung’s taste.” Kyungsoo wrinkles his nose. “You think Byeol counts as a plus one?”

Junmyeon laughs loudly and hits him lightly on the forehead, Kyungsoo joining him a moment after. It sounds so stupid that he finds himself saying, “If you’ll just be bringing Byeol, might as well just bring me instead.”

Kyungsoo freezes, his smile slowly slipping away from his lips as his eyes widen. It takes a moment for his words to catch up to him, but when he does, Junmyeon’s hands still from toying with the latter’s hair and he looks up, horrified.

“What?” Kyungsoo asks softly, looking up at him.

“What.” Junmyeon echoes, dropping his hands onto his lap. They’re shaking. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._ “Okay, sure, go take Byeol, I’ll buy her shoes and a dress and diapers tomorrow. Crisis averted! Great—“

Kyungsoo reaches up and covers his blabbering mouth with a hand. “You’ll go with me to the wedding?”

Junmyeon is helpless with the cold yet soft fingers on his lips, so he simply nods and prays Kyungsoo doesn’t freak out or anything.

Thankfully, he doesn’t. Kyungsoo smiles at him, eyes shining as he withdraws his hand. “Really? You’ll go with me?” He asks. “I mean, it’ll be hard. You’ll meet my family, make small talk with everyone, and the wedding is in Busan. It’s a long drive down.”

“Sure, why not,” Junmyeon says, but it comes out all squeaky and hoarse from nervousness. He clears his throat and tries again. “I don’t mind. I mean, you said so yourself, we can go as friends, right? Besides, I owe you one for coming with me to Jongdae’s party.”

Oddly, something flickers in Kyungsoo’s eyes before he blinks it away. “Oh. Friends. Of course.” He sounds almost dissppointed. “So that settles it, then.” As if on cue, the rice cooker beeps, and Kyungsoo jumps up. “I’ll get that.”

Junmyeon watches him scuttle away with a sigh before turning to the invite beside him. Just another day of Kyungsoo being confusing. And now he, probably the dumbest doctor in Korea, just volunteered to go on a wedding with the unrequited love of his life. He’ll have to sit through an entire day of celebrating love and commitment accompanying someone who doesn’t even want to date. How fantastic. It’s his favorite way to spend the weekend, if he does say so himself.

He sighs again and thumbs at the neat ‘2’ written on the number of seats reserved. What has he gotten himself into this time?

 

 

 

 

 

“So you’re telling me that you’re going to drive down the country to attend a wedding as your _friend’s_ plus one,” Baekhyun says slowly, as if he’s still trying to process the entire thing. “You’ll be driving for about six hours, share a hotel room with him, and meet his entire family, all as a friend.”

“Yup.” Junmyeon shuffles the files in his hands and tries not to wince at his friend’s words. When he puts it that way, it _does_ sound a little stupid. The Kim Brothers have already berated him about it, but here he is, in jeans and a pale pink sweatshirt as he drops off some important files in the hospital before he takes his leave. The drive will take up most of their day, so he’s picking up Kyungsoo from his apartment by 9 in the morning, grab some food for the trip, and drive to the hotel where they’ll be meeting his parents.

Baekhyun blinks at him before shaking his head, tutting. “Junmyeon, what are you doing to yourself, really?”

“Being a good friend?” He tries, and sighs at Baekhyun’s unimpressed look. “Look, Baek, I’ve got a suitcase packed in my car and a _friend_ to pick up in a few minutes, so here are the files you may need, and I had my secretary still go to work today so she can help you if a patient comes by. I’ll be going n—“

A loud siren goes off in the hallways, and both doctors look up in alarm as the hospital intercom crackles to life. “Code blue, ICU Bed 3B, pediatric ward, cardiac arrest. Code blue—“

“Junmyeon, isn’t that the seven year-old that just came in?” Baekhyun asks worriedly.

Junmyeon freezes as he suddenly remembers the patient he worked on at the ER two nights ago. A small girl, barely reaching his waist in height, got stuck in a car while her mother went to the grocery. She lost consciousness due to monoxide poisoning, and a few minutes too late she would’ve died. Only after Junmyeon did a medical history and a few tests did the family find out that she has asthma and a weak heart. She was frail and critical, but she still managed to weakly squeeze Junmyeon’s hand and compliment his bunny-printed scrubs (“Ahjussi, I really like your shirt!” “You like bunnies?” “I do! You look like a bunny! I like you!”) as he accompanies her to the ICU, walking along her side as nurses wheel her into an empty spot near the window. He forgot her bed number, but a part of him prays that she’ll be alright, that she has recovered, that—“

“Paging any respiratory pediatrics staff member, patient is critical.” The intercom booms again, and Junmyeon’s heart stops.

“Call Kyungsoo and tell him I’ll be late,” He says to Baekhyun before tugging off his sweater, pulling on his doctor’s coat over his black undershirt, and bolting to the ICU.

He arrives just in time, a few of his residents trailing behind him, and they get to work. Time flies by like a blur, Junmyeon barely registering what he or his residents are doing, his hands working mindlessly. All he cares about is stabilizing the patient, and he shuts down all of his emotions—panic, fear, despair, desperation—and channels all his energy into this little girl.

By the time the little girl’s vital signs are stable once more and Junmyeon is confident to leave her at the care of the nurses, it’s past lunchtime. He hasn’t felt the hunger, and has only drank a small cup of water that one of his residents gave him after many rounds of resuscitation. All that matters is that the girl is breathing normally, fast asleep after a tiring morning, and she’s alive. Junmyeon strokes her hair gently one last time before walking out of the ICU, peeling off his PPE as he goes.

To his surprise, Kyungsoo is sitting on the waiting area right outside, a black suitcase beside him and a cloth-wrapped box on his lap. “Hey.” He smiles, and somehow that zaps away all the exhaustion and anxiety in Junmyeon’s body.

“Hey. What are you—“ He abruptly stops talking as he remembers the trip and how they were suppose to leave four hours ago. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I forgot I was supposed to pick you up—“

“Hey, hey, shh, it’s okay. Baekhyun called me and explained everything. I understand.” Kyungsoo reaches up and gently leads him to sit on the empty chair beside him. “Is she okay now?”

“Yes. She’s been stable for a while now, so I’m confident to leave her without repercussions. She’ll be okay in a few days,” Junmyeon says, and without much thinking he leans his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Seeing him here is comforting, but the entire morning has been quite stressful to say at the very least, and the stress is getting to him. “Sorry, I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.”

“I know, but you did very well and I’m proud of you.” The producer squeezes his wrist, beaming at him. He then seems to remember the box in his lap, because he makes a soft sound and goes to unwrap it. “I made you lunch. Eat it before we leave, you must be hungry.”

Junmyeon opens the steel lunchbox, and inside is a whole serving of Kyungsoo’s famous kimchi spaghetti with extra mozzarella on top, just the way he likes it. “I made some while waiting for you,” Kyungsoo explains, handing him a fork. “Hope you like it.”

“When did I not like your cooking?” He says, and takes a big bite of pasta. As expected, it’s delicious. “Mmm. So good.”

“So I’ve noticed,” Kyungsoo says amusedly, and he visibly hesitates before slowly raising his thumb and wiping off the sauce on the corner of Junmyeon’s lips. “So messy. Are you a child?”

“I wish. They don’t have to worry about work and still have hope for the future,” Junmyeon replies jokingly as he eats, Kyungsoo laughing along with him. He pretty much inhales the spaghetti, partly because he’s that hungry and partly because it’s that good, and when he’s done Kyungsoo helps him put the dirty utensils away (he almost hears Baekhyun say, “How married of you two!”). They both then stand up and walk towards the hospital parking lot, chatting idly about the new batch of interns in Kyungsoo’s department and how they’re so eager one of them spilled coffee on himself and _apologized_ , but when they finally reach Junmyeon’s car, Kyungsoo stops Junmyeon from getting into the driver’s seat.

“What’s up? Did you forget something?” He asks, glancing at the black suitcase beside the man.

“No, it’s um—I was thinking, why don’t I drive for a few hours so you can rest?” Kyungsoo says tentatively. “I’m not going to crash your car, I swear. You just look really tired right now and it’s a pretty long drive. We can switch at a rest stop.”

“I’m fine, Kyungsoo. I’ll drive.” Junmyeon shakes his head. It _is_ a long drive down, and he is quite tired, but he wouldn’t let Kyungsoo drive. He even forgot about picking him up and leaving early. It’s the least he could do.

“Junmyeon, you need rest. You look dead on your feet, even with lunch.” Kyungsoo frowns slightly, taking in his dark eyebags and pale skin. “I’ll be fine, I was able to sleep in today so I have the energy. Please let me drive.”

“Kyungsoo, I swear, I’m fi—“ Junmyeon’s argument gets cut off with a huge yawn, and when Kyungsoo smiles at him, he knows he has lost the fight. He sighs and hands over his keys. “Fine. But we’re switching halfway.”

“Sure.” Something in Kyungsoo’s tone says they won’t, but Junmyeon chooses to ignore it as he hops on the passenger’s seat. It feels weird to not be driving his own car, his point of view different as Kyungsoo drives them out of the parking lot, but it’s not so bad. Especially when they get out of the city and Kyungsoo starts driving more casually, one hand on the steering wheel and one hand propped up on the window, his temple resting on his fist. His expression is of blank contentment, purely focused on the road. He looks extremely handsome like this, and Junmyeon knows he should be napping, but he just couldn’t help but sneak a few glances here and there.

Kyungsoo catches one one time, and he smirks at him before focusing back on the road. “Stop staring at me,” He says teasingly.

“Am not,” Junmyeon retaliates, even though he knows he’s not getting out of it.

Kyungsoo snorts and shakes his head slightly. “Go to sleep, Junmyeon. I’m driving for you so you can nap, not annoy me.”

“Just enjoying the view,” He says, and the producer looks at him in surprise. “Of the countryside,” He adds lamely. _Foot, meet mouth._

“Right.” Kyungsoo‘s ears turn pink, but he turns his attention back on the road nonetheless, and the car is filled once more with the sound of the radio playing old love songs. When the mortification subsides, the day’s exhaustion creeps back up to him and Junmyeon nods off to a jazzy rendition of Moon River, Kyungsoo’s soft hums lulling him to sleep.

He wakes up much to harsh red lights and loud honking, and with a jolt he realizes that it’s nighttime and they’re stuck in horrible traffic. “Wh—where are we?” He mumbles, rubbing his eyes groggily.

“Almost into Busan borders. There was a huge traffic accident a few kilometers from here, so we’re stuck.” Kyungsoo informs him, looking grim as he stares at the armaggedon of cars in front of them. “According to the news, police have been dispatched, but it’s going to take a while. This is the only road to the main area where our supposed hotel is. I reckon we’ll be here the entire night.”

“Oh.” Junmyeon blinks as he takes in his surroundings, and he realizes after a moment that he slept through the entire car ride. “Wait, you said we’re switching halfway.”

Kyungsoo turns to look at him, smiling slightly. “Yeah, but you looked so tired. You were even snoring a little. I didn’t have the heart to wake you,” He says. “Anyway, it was a pretty smooth ride until here. Don’t worry about it."

“You should’ve still woken me up,” He grumbles as he looks out the window. Immediately, he spots a line of cars turning right—a hotel, if he read the quite small sign right. “Kyungsoo, there’s a hotel there. Should we just stay the night there instead?”

The producer squints at the building, then at the traffic in front of them. “It might be already full, but it’s worth a shot.” And without another word, Kyungsoo expertly swerves to the next lane and all but zooms towards the hotel. They even manage to get the last parking spot outside. Junmyeon is impressed and also a little concerned about his tires, but he doesn’t think too much about it as they get off the car and wheel their suitcases towards the lobby, Kyungsoo speedwalking to the front desk immediately.

Turns out, he also gets the last room in the hotel—but it has only one bed. “We don’t have double rooms anymore, or even single ones and an extra bed. The only one available is a deluxe room with a queen-sized bed.” The concierge informs them.

Kyungsoo visibly hesitates, and Junmyeon looks at him warily. It’s going to be awkward for sure, but it’s either this or sleeping in the car. Plus, it’s a pretty great hotel, three stars if Junmyeon had Googled the right place, and it’s not as if they haven’t shared a bed before. He’s paying anyway (he insisted), so technically _he_ calls the shots, but Kyungsoo’s comfort is his priority, so Junmyeon opens his mouth to refuse as he moves to tuck back his card inside his wallet—until Kyungsoo himself speaks up.

“We’ll take it,” The producer says firmly, and Junmyeon gapes at him in disbelief, not even blinking when Kyungsoo plucks his card from his hands and gives it to the concierge. He only snaps out of it when the concierge asks him to sign, but he’s still unsure of what’s happening.

“Will you be okay with us sharing a bed?” Junmyeon asks as they walk to their hotel room. The halls are quiet, as it is quite late and most of the other guests are getting ready for bed. “I can sleep on the floor or something.”

“You paid for the room and _you’re_ the one who’s sleeping on the floor?” Kyungsoo says amusedly as he reads through the brochure that he snagged from the front desk. "It's fine, Junmyeon. We've slept together countless of times anyway."

Junmyeon's face burns red at _that_ phrasing, but Kyungsoo seems nonplussed as he unlocks their hotel room and begins hanging their suits up. "Want to shower first, or should we grab dinner?" He asks, deft fingers smoothing down his black slacks. "The restaurant's closing in a bit though."

"Let's just get room service, it costs the same." Junmyeon shrugs, toeing off his shoes and padding towards the bed, crawling onto the side nearer the window. The room's not that bad, really—it's spacious, it has a bathtub and a desk, and it even has a balcony overlooking the traffic they avoided. It's pretty great, except for the bed. Which is huge, but also daunting. "Or do you want pizza?"

"Pizza sounds great. Can we get garlic and shrimp?" Kyungsoo peeks out from the closet hopefully. Junmyeon couldn't help but chuckle at how adorable he looks, and he flashes him a thumbs up as he makes the call. Thankfully there's a pizza place nearby, and he finishes placing his order (large garlic and shrimp pizza, honey garlic chicken fingers, and Nutella banana crepe 'kimbap') just as Kyungsoo finishes fixing their clothes, and he all but jumps to the other side, burying his face on his pillow with a groan.

"So tired," The producer mumbles, closing his eyes. Junmyeon snickers and leans over to be able to comb his hair soothingly. "I hate traffic. I forgot how tiring driving is."

"I told you to wake me up." Junmyeon admonishes him, but the latter only grunts in response and burrows closer to him, his head resting on Junmyeon's side.

"Stop nagging and turn on the TV," Kyungsoo commands, and Junmyeon complies without another word. He's helpless to a soft, cuddly Kyungsoo like that. He might have to fix that soon, but for now, he relishes in the warmth as they watch a rerun of Mulan. The food arrives just as Mulan manages to climb the top of the pole and they migrate from the bed to the floor to eat, Junmyeon sitting with his legs outstretched and Kyungsoo lying across his lap, the pizza box resting on his legs and the box of chicken cradled near Kyungsoo like a puppy. It's not the healthiest or the most romantic of dinners, but it's comfortable, warm, and delicious, so Junmyeon doesn't mind. The mundaneness of their dinner setup is enough to keep his mind off tomorrow's wedding, something he is so horribly unprepared for—what will Kyungsoo's parents think of him? His aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents? Will they like him? Does Kyungsoo talk to them about him? How close should he stay to Kyungsoo? Should they pretend they're dating?—and tonight's sleeping arrangements. Because it's one thing to share his bed back in his apartment, and another to share a bed in a hotel. Especially the one that is apparently popular among couples driving cross-country (it also came up when he Googled the place earlier). He'll worry about those later. For now, he lets himself get lost in Mulan, grease, and the weight of Kyungsoo on his lap.

But perhaps the universe is in an iffy mood today, because before he knows it the movie is over and their dinner is done. Kyungsoo busies himself with cleaning up their trash and shoos him to the bathroom to wash up, so Junmyeon has no other choice but to change into his sleepwear (aka a plain white shirt and sweatpants), brush his teeth, and slap some night cream on before crawling back to their extremely comfortable bed. He lies on his side of the bed and stares at his phone, trying not to jump each time Kyungsoo opens the faucet or a notification pops up his Kakaotalk (Jongdae, Jongin, Heize, and Soojung are talking about this movie they all watched earlier at the Kim Family group chat). He shouldn't really be stressing himself out too much about something as trivial as _sleeping arrangements_ , especially with someone he considers a close friend, yet here he is anyway. Also, he should've really thought of everything he's worrying about the wedding _before_ he even agreed, but no, he's dumb and in love and so, so whipped.

Junmyeon almost drops his phone when Kyungsoo opens the bathroom door, a towel draped across his neck. He’s in a slightly oversized black shirt and black sweatpants, his fringe plastered on his forehead. Cute. “You okay there?” The latter raises a brow.

“Yeah, sure,” Junmyeon says, wincing when his voice cracks. He turns to his other side and takes refuge in the Kim Family group chat, where Soojung and Jongdae are bickering about cinematography, of all things. He ignores Kyungsoo’s snort, ignores the soft padding of his feet across the room, and only jumps slightly when he turns off the lights and leaves only the lamp on. He tries not to immediately turn when the other side of the bed dips with Kyungsoo’s weight, and he doesn’t take a deep breath when all he can smell is aloe and mint toothpaste. He instead trains his eyes on their group chat, where Luhan is now offering his equally useless input, because he knows if he faces the latter all his worries will come back like a roaring wave.

Kyungsoo’s breath evens out after a while, and only then does Junmyeon allow himself to slowly turn and face him. Kyungsoo is lying on his back, his head turned slightly away from him. His eyes are closed, his lashes fanning across smooth cheeks. His mouth is slightly downturned and his brow is slightly furrowed, like his sleep is fitful. One of his hands is resting on his chest, the other on his side. In this low light, he looks softer. In the daylight he is sharp and frank, always rushing about with cold efficiency, but like this he is sweet and still. Like how he is with Junmyeon, sometimes. Those times are his favorite times.

“Stop staring at me.” Kyungsoo suddenly speaks up, and Junmyeon jumps again in shock. He doesn’t even open his eyes, or move his head. He’s odd like that, sometimes.

“I wasn’t.” Junmyeon huffs.

Kyungsoo cracks open one eye, and even with the other one closed, he still manages to look exasperated. “Yeah, you are,” He replies, and opens the other eye. However, the exasperation dissipates and turns into concern. “What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing,” Junmyeon says. “Go back to sleep.”

“No, not until you talk.” Kyungsoo shifts so he can fully face him, staring at him head on. “What’s wrong, Junmyeon?”

Junmyeon stares right back, holds Kyungsoo’s intense stare and tries his best to hold his ground. He’s not going to bother him with something so trivial as this. He drove all day today, he deserves to rest and not to play counselor to his petty concerns. He does a pretty good job until Kyungsoo softens his gaze into something a little pleading, a little concerned, a little gentle, and a whole lot vulnerable. It’s the look he had when he was talking about the wedding, when he drunk confessed that he regrets starting over, and when he actually asked him to start over again. It’s the look that Junmyeon can simply say no to, so he sighs and relents. “What if your family doesn’t like me?” He asks softly, hesitantly.

To his surprise, Kyungsoo bursts out laughing. “And here I thought it was something serious.” He chuckles, patting Junmyeon’s cheek fondly. “I can’t believe you’re losing sleep for this.”

“Hey, it’s a valid concern.” Junmyeon replies, pouting slightly.

“I know. But you don’t have to worry about anything. I’m sure they’ll love you.” Kyungsoo hums. “I’ll bet you my mom will want to adopt you by the end of the day.”

Junmyeon’s heart skips happily at that, but he is still slightly worried. Kyungsoo might just be saying this to calm him down, it might not be true. The latter must’ve sensed his hesitation, because he smiles gently and reaches down to tangle their fingers together. “It’ll be fine, okay? Trust me.” He squeezes his hand reassuringly. “Now go to sleep if you don’t want my mom to lecture you on the importance of getting enough sleep.”

Kyungsoo closes his eyes once more, going back to sleep. He dozes off almost immediately, breath evening out after only a few moments. Junmyeon watches him for a while, takes in his beauty and soft profile in the warm light before letting himself be calmed and lulled to sleep by the sound of Kyungsoo’s breathing and the comforting weight of his hand on his own.

 

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon wakes up to the sunlight hitting his face, the sound of hotel guests walking outside their door, and an armful of Kyungsoo.

Wait, what?

He blinks the sleep out of his eyes and immediately sees a tuft of black hair resting on top of his chest. Kyungsoo is all but sprawled on top of him, head resting on his chest and an arm laid across his torso. One of his legs is hooked on Junmyeon’s, and his other hand is loosely clutching the hem of Junmyeon’s sleep shirt, almost as if to keep him there. And if that isn’t mortifying enough, Junmyeon’s arms happen to be wrapped around the man. For all the worrying he did last night about sleeping arrangements, unconscious him surely didn’t take it into account before freaking leeching onto Kyungsoo. _Damn it._

Carefully, Junmyeon slowly lifts Kyungsoo’s head off his chest and onto a pillow and folds his other arm to a comfortable angle beside him. Finally, he gently straightens the latter’s leg so he’s not trapped under it anymore. There. Now he can hide in the bathroom, which was soundproof for some reason, and freak out for a good half an hour before waking up Kyungsoo. Sounds like a plan. He sits up and gently kicks off the covers before moving towards the—

A hand tugs his shirt, stopping him from going anywhere, and Junmyeon looks down and realizes that he forgot to pry Kyungsoo’s hand off his shirt. After a moment, the said man tugs again, this time a little harder, and Junmyeon falls back onto the bed with a soft grunt. Kyungsoo mumbles something incoherent and scoots back closer, wrapping an arm around his waist and burrowing his face on the hollow of his neck with a satisfied sound.

“Kyungsoo,“ He says with a strained voice, slowly starting the process of extricating himself from the latter’s grip once more. “Kyungsoo, I have to get up now.”

“Mm, no,” Kyungsoo mumbles, his hold tightening. “It’s early, babe, let’s sleep.”

Junmyeon freezes mid-struggle at the sound of Kyungsoo’s gravelly, barely coherent morning voice calling him _babe_. His insides turn to jelly and he feels a little lightheaded and he almost combusts right there and then. _Babe._ God, he likes the sound of that, but will Kyungsoo ever call him that wide awake? No, so Junmyeon takes a deep breath to compose himself and resumes his escape.

To his surprise, Kyungsoo lets out a soft whine and clings even closer. “Don’t leave me,” He says in this most pitiful voice that Junmyeon has ever heard, like he’s so scared that Junmyeon will leave, or like something is scaring him and Junmyeon is the only one that can make it go away. And honestly, how can he fight _that_ , so Junmyeon relents and lets Kyungsoo sleep in his arms, idly checking his phone with one hand and stroking the latter’s hair with the other as he tries not to overthink about this morning, or worry about later.

About half an hour later, when Junmyeon has finished backtracking yesterday’s film critique session at the Kim Family group chat (and has tried his best not to laugh so hard, lest he jostles Kyungsoo), Kyungsoo groans softly as he slowly wakes up. He lifts his head and blinks groggily, and Junmyeon couldn’t help but smile at the other man. He’s cute like this.

“Good morning,” Junmyeon says, and Kyungsoo turns to him with sleepy eyes. “Nice sleep?”

Kyungsoo wordlessly nods before snuggling back to his original position, forehead resting against Junmyeon’s collar as he slowly wakes up. Junmyeon slowly counts down to the time Kyungsoo needs to fully get a grip of his surroundings, because Kyungsoo bot always needs a bit of time to restart in the morning (why he knows this fact is beyond him). He’ll freak out in five, four, three, two—

“Oh my god.” Kyungsoo jolts back, looking up at Junmyeon with wide eyes. “Did I—did I _cling_ to you in my sleep?”

_You were practically on top of me, and you wouldn’t let me go away. You even called me babe. You tell me._ “A little. Don’t worry about it.” Junmyeon untangles himself before finally sitting up and stretching, Kyungsoo still lying down in utter mortification.

“I’m so sorry,” The producer says, horrified. “I sometimes get really clingy when I’m tired, oh my god, I forgot to warn you, I’m so sorry, fuck—“

“Hey, it’s okay. At least you didn’t crush me or anything.” Junmyeon teases, standing up and padding towards his suitcase. “I’ll go take a shower first, why don’t you order room service for breakfast?”

Kyungsoo just nods, still staring blankly at the space beside him. Junmyeon chuckles and goes inside the bathroom and tries his hardest not to freak out.

(He fails, but he tones his panicked screeching down to a whisper so Kyungsoo wouldn’t hear.)

When he finally emerges from the shower after shaving, moisturizing, scrubbing down his entire body twice, one more major freak out, and a round of lotioning, Kyungsoo is frowning as he talks to someone on the phone. There’s a tray of food on the desk, and Junmyeon snags a croissant as the producer nods along listlessly to whoever was talking. “All right, I’ll call up the front desk. See you in a bit. Love you.” He sighs before ending the call.

“What’s up?” Junmyeon asks as he pries open the small tub of strawberry preserves and spoons some on top of his bread.

“Apparently we forfeited our supposed room at the same hotel where my parents are. The wedding will end late so we can’t drive back immediately afterwards. We’ll just have to go back here.” Kyungsoo explains, running a hand through his messy hair.

“Why don’t I go and fix it while you shower? We have to leave a little early, we’re still a bit far from the chapel.” He suggests around a mouthful of bread. “I for one need an hour to struggle with my bowtie.”

Kyungsoo snorts and rolls his eyes, but he smiles gratefully at him anyway. “I’ll help you later.” He promises before disappearing into the bathroom. Junmyeon inhales the rest of his bread and goes to call the front desk, then pads back to the table to eat a bit of quiche, then changes into his slacks, then busies himself with his hair while he munches on fruit. Routine, to keep his hands busy. If he stops moving, he might start worrying again.

(A part of him wonders why is he freaking out so much about meeting Kyungsoo’s family when he’s meeting them as a _friend_. It’s right, but he shuts it up anyway.)

When Kyungsoo finishes showering, Junmyeon is frowning at his bowtie in front of the mirror, dress shirt already tucked in immaculately, hair gelled up, and dress socks on. The producer chuckles as he pads towards him, draping his towel on top of his head and reaching up to take the bowtie from his clumsy fingers. “Silly. Let me do it.” He does it quickly and efficiently, tongue peeking out slightly from the corner of his lips as he concentrates on perfecting the loops, and Junmyeon is enthralled. Kyungsoo looks beautiful up close, even now when his hair is dripping and he’s just in a white undershirt and his sweatpants from last night rolled up at the knees. This weekend will probably be just a Kyungsoo appreciation weekend. Junmyeon doesn’t mind that at all.

“All done!” Kyungsoo announces as he looks up at Junmyeon, and they stare at each other just like that, Junmyeon standing still and Kyungsoo’s hands resting on Junmyeon’s chest where he smoothed down his collar and bowtie, seemingly caught up in a spell—that is, until Junmyeon’s phone pings with a new Kakaotalk notification, and the moment is broken. “I’ll um, go change now.” Kyungsoo shuffles away, and Junmyeon tries his very hardest not to scream as he checks his phone (just Jongdae wishing them all a happy Saturday, in usual Jongdae fashion). This is going to be a _long_ day.

Kyungsoo finishes dressing up after a while, looking mighty fine even in just a plain white dress shirt and thin black tie, and together they go down to the car and drive to the chapel. Junmyeon’s driving now, and thankfully the accident has been cleared overnight so the road is traffic-free. They drive in silence, Kyungsoo reading the invite idly and Junmyeon nervously following the GPS directions, and before they know it (and more importantly, before Junmyeon could calm his nerves) they arrive in the wedding chapel with a few minutes to spare. Junmyeon turns off the car, but makes no move to go out. He’s such a nervous wreck right now, what if Kyungsoo’s family hates him, what if he does something embarrassing, what if—

A cold hand rests on top of his, and he looks up to see Kyungsoo smiling at him. “Ready?”

“No,” He squeaks. He doesn’t even bother hiding it. He’s quaking from the tips of his perfectly gelled coiffed hair to his expensive leather shoes.

“Relax. You’ll be fine, they’ll love you.” Kyungsoo squeezes his hand reassuringly. “And if it helps, I’ll be there. I won’t leave your side. We got this. Okay?”

Junmyeon takes in everything—the comforting grip on his hands, the warm smile and even warmer eyes, and Kyungsoo’s uttered promise—before breathing deeply and nodding. “Let’s do this.”

And with one last squeeze of their joined hands, they step out of the car and face the music.

 

 

 

 

 

Aside from a few aunts asking if they’re a couple, a few grandparents cooing at how handsome he is, and Mrs. Do immediately hugging him when she sees him, the wedding comes and goes without a hitch.

The ceremony is beautiful, almost breathtaking. The chapel is filled with roses, white and the lightest of blues everywhere. All guests are in black and white, the entourage in deep blue, and the two grooms in pure white suits. They both sang self-composed songs to each other for their vows, and when the officiant declares them husbands, the other groom—Jongwoon, Kyungsoo will correct him later—picks up Ryeowook and spins him around before kissing him sweetly. It’s a quiet and intimate affair, the entire ceremony solemn but still filled with love and a little dash of silliness. It’s one of the most beautiful weddings Junmyeon has attended, and he is glad he tagged along.

But he’ll admit, throughout the entire ceremony Junmyeon is distracted by Kyungsoo beside him. He just looks so happy for his hyung, the smile never leaving his face since Ryeowook entered the chapel. He even cries during the vows, so hard that he had to his face in Junmyeon’s shoulder. His eyes shine with joy, but once in a while Junmyeon will spot wistfulness in his gaze, like he too wants to get married. He claps and cheers when the husbands kiss, probably one of the loudest among the guests, and he laughs when the couple pretends to elope by running out of the chapel (but going right back for photos). Like this, when he’s happy and excited and glowing with love, this is when Kyungsoo is the most beautiful. Junmyeon finds himself falling a little deeper for the other man as the ceremony goes on, which is silly because Kyungsoo did nothing but smile and sit. But that’s love, he supposes, and once in a while he’d stare at the two grooms and would imagine him and Kyungsoo at their place, and he’d get lost in the moment before crashing back to reality. Then he’d get distracted by Kyungsoo being beautiful, then he’d avert his gaze to the altar, and the cycle repeats. The life of a pining bachelor is not an easy one, but rarely do people see Kyungsoo this happy, so Junmyeon counts his blessings anyway.

The reception is just as uneventful, mostly just the aunts forcing them to eat more and the newlyweds being teased to kiss every other minute. Junmyeon and Kyungsoo are sharing a table with the latter’s cousins who all brought their respective partners, and almost everyone in the table asks if they’re dating—and when they refuse, they each give them disbelieving looks, so it was quite an awkward dinner. Thankfully, their attention was diverted when the newlyweds share their first dance together to My Everything, and Junmyeon sighs wistfully as he watches them hold each other close, just swaying to the song without paying much mind to the people around them. He wants that, too. When will he get that kind of love? Hello, universe? You might’ve forgotten someone?

Couples’ dance starts after the song ends, and their table quickly loses its occupants as the couples make their way to the dance floor, leaving only Junmyeon, Kyungsoo, and their glasses of champagne in awkward silence. Junmyeon doesn’t know how to make small talk in this situation (that is, being someone’s plus one when they’re so in love with said someone, and it’s the freaking _couples’ dance_ so they’re stuck in the table), so he picks at his dessert silently and broods.

“Hey,“ Kyungsoo suddenly speaks up. “Want to dance?”

Junmyeon almost spits out his champagne. “ Wh-what?” He tries his very best not to let his voice shake. He’s failing. “I, um, it’s the couples’ dance though.”

“I know. But technically, you’re my plus one, so I guess that counts.” Kyungsoo shrugs. Junmyeon continues to gape at him, and the latter takes his silence the wrong way because he quickly raises his hands and shakes his head. “Or I could just get a drink! No biggie. Sorry, um. That was weird, wasn’t it? Yeah, I’ll just uh, go to the bar—“

“No, wait,” Junmyeon says, grabbing Kyungsoo’s wrist before he could bolt out of his seat. “Sorry, I was just caught off guard. I’d love to dance with you.”

“Oh, um. Okay, great.” Kyungsoo’s ears turn an adorable shade of pink as Junmyeon leads him to a secluded corner of the dance floor, still tugging his wrist. Most of the guests are swaying to the beat, too immersed in their own bubbles, and they look a little out of place just standing there. Without much thinking, Junmyeon places his hands on Kyungsoo’s waist, and the latter in turn wraps his arms around Junmyeon’s neck wordlessly. It’s intimate and yet so painfully awkward, Junmyeon realizes as they slowly shuffle around, looking like two teenagers in a school prom. That is, until a certain jazzy intro starts playing:

_Why do birds suddenly appear_  
Every time you are near  
Just like me, they long to be  
Close to you

“Hey, I love this song,” Kyungsoo says, smiling. That smile is way deadlier up close, and Junmyeon’s heart does a funny little skip. He thanks the stars that they’re not pressed together so closely that Kyungsoo can feel his heartbeat, or else he’ll be fucked.

“Close to You by The Carpenters? I didn’t peg you to be the type to listen to old love songs.” Junmyeon teases as their swaying becomes more natural, partly because Kyungsoo has began humming and has patterned their movements to the actual beat.

“I love old love songs. They make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside, like love does.” Kyungsoo explains and continues humming along. His voice is even more beautiful than the wedding singer’s, and Junmyeon is in love. So, so in love. He remembers the vow he made to himself back in Jongin and Soojung’s wedding, when he was moping during the couples dance with cake and wine. He promised to himself that one day, he’ll dance to Michael Bublé with the love of his life during the couples dance. Well, Bublé isn’t in the wedding singer’s playlist, but he got the love of his life part down, so he doesn’t mind. Not when Kyungsoo moves just a little closer to him and all Junmyeon hears is his soft humming, when all that matters is the trim waist under his hands and the fingers laced behind his nape and the beautiful heart-shaped smile a few inches away from his own, and how Kyungsoo fits so well in his arms that he doesn’t want to let go, ever.

“Something on your mind?” Kyungsoo asks, and Junmyeon crashes back to reality. “You spaced out for a bit there.”

“Oh, um, nothing,” He says, a little breathless at Kyungsoo’s furrowed brow and gentle gaze. “Just uh, got distracted by the birds.”

“The birds?” Kyungsoo looks around at the garden for any signs of twittering, confused.

“There were some earlier who suddenly appeared.” Junmyeon supplies helpfully, and Kyungsoo blinks at him, bemused. “Get it? Because uh, you’re near now.” Stupid joke. Foot, meet stupid, dumb, too honest mouth.

To his surprise, Kyungsoo bursts out laughing. “Oh my god, I can’t decide if that’s awful or not.” He chuckles, shaking his head. “And I suppose just like you, they want to be close to me?”

“Yes,” Junmyeon says, and he’s not even talking about his joke anymore. Kyungsoo is his dream come true, all right. And he couldn’t thank the angels or the stars (that fall out from the sky every time he walks by) enough for that.

Kyungsoo’s gaze softens and he smiles before pulling Junmyeon even closer so he can rest his chin on his shoulder. “We can worry about the birds later,” He whispers, his breath warm against Junmyeon’s neck. “Let’s just dance, okay?”

Junmyeon simply hums and tightens his hold on the latter’s waist, swaying them both gently to the warm notes of the orchestra’s violin. He doesn’t really mind the birds, or the falling stars, or all the girls in town, or anything or anyone, really, for he has everything he needs in his arms. And Kyungsoo is all that really matters.

Their little moment is broken as the band ends the song with a chord, and Ryeowook brandishes the bouquet in his hands. “It’s bouquet time!” He announces, and starts naming all the single guests. Including Kyungsoo, who sighs deeply before disentangling himself from Junmyeon and joining the small circle in front. Junmyeon chuckles and goes back to their table, but stays standing up to keep an eye on Kyungsoo in case a rabid groomsman attacks him for the bouquet. “Best wishes to the one who’ll catch it! Here it comes!” Ryeowook turns and audibly takes a deep breath before throwing the bouquet. However, he overestimates the distance of the single crowd (jab intended) and his back, because it flies right across the heads of those he just called—

—and right towards Junmyeon’s face. As a sort of reflex, he holds out his hands, and he inadvertently catches the bouquet of roses. Everyone bursts into cheers as Junmyeon stares at it, dumbfounded. In his confusion, he looks up and meets Kyungsoo’s eye from the sea of people clapping—he’s laughing, and he mouths, “Congrats!” Just like during Minseok and Luhan’s wedding, when they met once again.

Is this a sign from the universe? Or just another cruel joke?

“Guess you two have to date now, eh?” One of their tablemates jokes as they all take a seat, and Junmyeon flushes scarlet.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and punches the man on the arm, hard. “Shut up, Hyungsik. Don’t torment my plus one.” He huffs, and Junmyeon tries his very best not to preen at the possessive pronoun. _Kyungsoo’s_ plus one. He quite likes the sound of that, but it’s all part of a grandiose dream might not come true, so he tries very hard not to dwell into it.

(Okay, he does. A little.)

 

 

 

 

 

“I knew I’d find you here.”

Junmyeon looks up from the bouquet in his hands to see Kyungsoo stepping into their hotel room’s tiny balcony. He’s still in his dress shirt and slacks, but his jacket is gone and he’s wearing the fluffy hotel slippers. In the moonlight and the warm light of the balcony, he looks ethereal. “Hey, Soo.”

“Hi. You okay?” Kyungsoo leans on the railing beside him, their shoulders touching. Like Jonghyun, he has a sixth sense for when something is bothering Junmyeon, and a seventh for when Junmyeon wants to be alone. The drive back to the hotel is quiet, and he made some calls outside first to give Junmyeon some alone time when they went back. “Congratulations on the bouquet, by the way. This is your second one in what, a little over a year?”

“Second and a half, because at Jongin and Soojung’s wedding they threw it at me but I managed to spike it like a volleyball and give it to someone else.” Junmyeon chuckles, running a finger across one of the flowers. “Even the universe is conspiring to set me up, I think.”

“Maybe it grew tired of you being alone,” The producer says softly. “Maybe it’s telling you to find the love you so willingly give others.”

“I tried.” He shrugs, plucking a petal from a daisy. Its maroon tint is stark against his pale skin, almost a violent shade of red. It’s different from the calmness in his heart, too exhausted to even feel anything with this conversation. “I thought I found him, but it turns out...well, long story short, he’s not the one for me.”

“Is it Jonghyun?” Kyungsoo asks. He didn’t even think of himself. Junmyeon doesn’t know if he should laugh or cry.

“I thought he was. I hoped he was. He was everything I was looking for, everything I wanted. But no, we weren’t the ones we needed.” He flicks the petal away and watches it float slowly down until the darkness made it impossible to see where it landed. “We broke up because he made me realize I still love the guy I thought I already got over with. Until now I’m actually still trying to get over him. I want a future with him, but I don’t even know if I’m part of his future, you know? So I’m sorry, universe, but unless you collude with me to make things work with him, it’s not gonna happen.” _Please make it happen._

Kyungsoo reaches over and squeezes his hand reassuringly, a gentle smile on his face. Junmyeon lets himself relish the touch and loses himself in the brilliance of Kyungsoo’s smile for a few moments before forcing out a sarcastic laugh. “Damn, this wedding gave me _feelings_. Ugh, yikes.” He makes a face and sticks out his tongue, like he just ate something bad. It masks the sadness creeping into his heart, a familiar twist that he has grown accustomed to.

“It was a beautiful ceremony, wasn’t it?” The producer muses. “I’ve always liked weddings. They’re always so romantic and magical, and there’s something about them that makes me feel light.”

“You like weddings, but you don’t even want a relationship. Oh, the irony.” Junmyeon teases.

“I didn’t want one before. I was extremely preoccupied with work, and I just got off a bad breakup. I do now. But funnily enough, my loneliness is more out of no one actually trying their shot at forever with me.” Kyungsoo sighs as he stares at the bright moon. “You know, I already planned out my wedding when I was a kid. I even made moodboards and all that.”

“Oh? Care to share with the class, then?” He says, fighting to keep the hopefulness from his tone. For the first time in weeks, he feels light. So Minseok _was_ right. Maybe he does have a shot after all.

Kyungsoo laughs and nudges him to shut him up, but his smile is wistful. “I want a gold and white wedding, and lilies everywhere. I want my guests to be in black with gold accessories, and my partner and I in white and gold. I’d wear a white suit with a gold bowtie and pocket square. Kid me didn’t think of my partner’s outfit, but regardless of their gender I wanted them to have a corsage of carnations and roses. White, of course.” He chuckles at his silliness, and Junmyeon is endeared. “Then as we walk down the aisle an old cheesy love song will play. We’d handwrite our vows and try to make each other cry. For our reception, I want in a gazebo with fairy lights and tall floral vases in each table, and for our couple dance I want to dance to Can’t Help Falling In Love. Then we’d do all the silly wedding traditions and I want a DJ afterwards so everyone can rave, then we’ll go home and open gifts and go to our honeymoon in Japan. Then we’ll live happily ever after with dogs and maybe children in a nice house. The end.”

“Wow. Kid Kyungsoo sure did a lot of planning, huh?” Junmyeon says, his tone casual but his mind already whirring with ideas. Funny how they wanted the same motif for their wedding, and even the same flowers. He can already picture the quaint chapel filled with flowers and gold chairs with white ribbons, and Kyungsoo walking towards him in his white tux that matches his gold one so beautifully. He can already feel the hot tears down his cheek as they exchange vows, can already hear the music playing as they dance like they did in Ryeowook’s wedding. He wants it so bad, too.

“Yeah. I don’t know how to break it to him that it’ll just gather dust in the back of my mind.” Kyungsoo snorts, shifting his gaze back to the moon and sighing wistfully. “That’s why I love weddings—it reminds me that love isn’t nonexistent just because I’m alone. And it makes me feel extra lonely, yes, but also hopeful. Maybe one day, I’ll find love, too. Maybe my dream wedding isn’t just something my nine-year-old self made after watching old romcoms. Maybe one day, it will happen to me.”

Junmyeon doesn’t know what does it—perhaps the way Kyungsoo looks, bathed in light, or the way his smile is wistful and beautifully heart-shaped, or the way he bared his insecurities to him without much thought, the entire weekend of feelings and happiness, the mandatory post-wedding wave of feelings, or just Kyungsoo, standing there beside him, his warmth a comforting touch in the chilly night—but his brain decides to shut down, his heart decides to _finally_ be selfish and brave for once, and he says, “I can make that happen, if you’ll give me the chance.”

Kyungsoo turns to him, shock written all over his features, but Junmyeon notes the red slowly creeping up his neck and the hopeful light in his eyes. “What did you just say?” He asks, so hopeful yet so hesitant, like he wants this but doesn’t know if he heard it right. Just like Junmyeon, all this time. Maybe they really are made for each other.

“I can make your dream wedding happen, if you’ll let me.” Junmyeon repeats, and without much thinking he gets down on one knee and looks up at Kyungsoo. He doesn't know what he's doing, but it feels right. And also a little overdue. Perhaps he has been bottling his feelings for so long. “Doh Kyungsoo, I love you. I have been in love with you ever since I saw you at Café Universe, and I am still in love with you even if you told me in so many words that you wouldn’t date me at the steakhouse. Even after all this time, and despite all that has happened, and even if my friends are telling me I’m dumb for holding on to something so unsure, I love you.”

Kyungsoo gasps and covers his mouth with his hands, but he is smiling widely and his eyes are shining. Junmyeon finds himself smiling back as he fights back tears. Not now, he still has a lot to say. “I broke up with Jjong because he made me realize that loving you felt right. It wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve done, med school included, but it felt right. My friends often asked me why I held on for so long, repressing my feelings whenever I’m with you. I told them I’d rather have friendship than lose you completely. Whatever it takes to keep you by my side, I’ll do it, even if it means brushing off our little dates as friendly outings or resisting the urge to hold your hand every time you fidget. But now, I’m hoping I can keep you closer, if you’ll let me.” He holds up the bouquet in his hands, eyes filled with tears and unbridled hope, all the love he has bottled up for so long rushing out of him in waves. Kyungsoo is crying now, tears running down his face as he just listens to him with wide eyes and a wider smile. “I don’t have a ring because I didn’t prepare for this, I don’t have anything to offer you but my love and my heart and my awful jokes. I can promise you that I will be with you no matter what, no matter how long it takes. I will always be by your side, supporting you and cheering for you and making sure you know you are loved. Maybe one day I can even give you a ring and your dream wedding, but for now, Doh Kyungsoo, can I try my shot at forever with you?”

He expects Kyungsoo to do any of the following: cry out his reply and either hug him or flee, depending on his answer; laugh at his face and brush off the proposal; or just ask what the fuck is he doing. Junmyeon does not expect Kyungsoo to reach inside his slacks pocket and pull out a velvet box. “Here, you can borrow these first.”

Junmyeon blinks and looks down at the box in his hands, shakily opening it. Inside, two plain rose gold rings sit side by side. “What—“ He looks up at Kyungsoo questioningly, the rings still cradled in his hands like they’re the crown jewels. “Are _you_ proposing to me?”

Kyungsoo laughs and helps him up, his perpetually cold hands resting on Junmyeon’s forearms. “I bought them a few weeks ago. I saw them and I immediately thought of you, then before I could think about it I was already buying a pair,” He explains softly, head bent down shyly. “It’s a promise that I will try this whole love thing with you, and this time I will not run away.

“Junmyeon, when I told you I wanted to start over, I did it because I was so scared that I lost you. It was dumb of me to be so wary of what people think when I was enjoying my time with you, but I was just so scared. I had just broken up with a guy who made me feel like shit, and suddenly you come in, the guy of my dreams in sky blue scrubs. I was so scared that one day you’ll leave me too, so I pushed you away to a safe distance. That clearly didn’t work out well for me, as it did for you. But all this time you have been nothing but amazing, and sometimes I pinch myself because I still can’t believe you’re real. And earlier, during Ryeowook hyung’s wedding, I realized that I want to be with you so badly, that I too want a love like his. I want everything that I just shared, the white and gold wedding and the lilies and the slow dancing and the growing old part, with _you_. But I knew that before I could make my dream wedding come true, I first have to stop being so scared of love. So this is me, quaking in fear in these hotel slippers, but willing and actually pretty excited to take this leap with you.” Kyungsoo smiles and reaches up to cradle Junmyeon’s cheek gently, running his thumb across the smooth surface. “If you’ll let me, that is.”

“Y-you want to marry me?” Junmyeon asks incredulously. He looks down at the rings on his hand, then back at Kyungsoo. “Are you sure?”

“I know we’ve known each other for what, a year? And we spent most of that dancing around each other, like two fools. But whenever I’m with you, I feel like I’m home. All my worries disappear when I’m with you. I feel safest in your presence, and your company is my refuge. In that short time you managed to be one of the closest people to my heart, and you of all people know how I keep my distance from strangers. I know I’ve done the stupidest thing before of not being brave enough, but now I know I will continue to be unhappy if I am not with you. This should scare me, but right now I’ve never been so sure my entire life.” Kyungsoo takes the box from him and gets down on one knee too. Junmyeon promptly starts crying, hot tears running down his cheeks as he looks at the rings. Matching rings. One for him, one for Kyungsoo. A symbol of a promise of forever. “Kim Junmyeon, you make me happy in ways and lengths that I never imagined I could be. If you let me, I will spend my days trying to heal all the pain I caused you and return the happiness you give me. Will you marry me? Or at least be my boyfriend?”

There are a lot of things running across Junmyeon’s mind, mostly incoherent screeching, but of course he chooses to reply, “I asked first, you haven’t even answered _my_ question. God, Kyungsoo, don’t leave me hanging here.”

Kyungsoo laughs through his tears, because they’re both ugly crying right now, and shakes his head. “I have the rings, though.” He points out jokingly. “Which you don’t even want to accept.”

“Who said I don’t? Of course I want it, you dumbfuck, I just told you on bended knee how I’ve fallen for you on our first meeting even when you glared at me because you didn’t have your glasses, and how I’m still in love with you even if you broke my heart multiple times with that ‘just friends’ thing!” Junmyeon exclaims, and he knows he’s extremely happy and he has tear tracks on his cheeks out of sheer bliss, but he can’t help but be mildly put off. “Of course I’ll marry you, of course I’ll be your boyfriend, I’ll be whatever you want me to be, do you even have to ask?”

“Just wanted to make sure,” Kyungsoo says jokingly, but he glows with happiness as he takes the left ring and slides it into Junmyeon’s ring finger. It’s a perfect fit. The producer smiles and puts his hand up to his lips, kissing it gently. Junmyeon almost swoons right there and then.

“If you’re going to kiss my hand, might as well kiss me, too,” He says helpfully as Kyungsoo stands up, their hands linked together.

“Aren’t you a little pushy today,” Kyungsoo snorts, but he leans forward and wraps his free hand around Junmyeon’s waist anyway. Junmyeon meets him halfway, and as their lips touch fireworks (presumably from Ryeowook’s reception, the rave must be done) explode in the distance, filling the night sky with colors and light. Just like how Junmyeon’s insides are bursting with love and contentment as they kiss, the warm and soft lips under his making his knees weak and the butterflies in his stomach faint one by one.

“I love you,” Kyungsoo says softly when they part for air, their foreheads pressed together. “It’s a little late and also a little rushed, but I love you. It took a little while, but I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“You better.” Junmyeon smiles and leans forward to kiss him once more. Kyungsoo tastes like champagne and Junmyeon’s strawberry lip balm and the promise of forever. It’s been a long ride, full of ups and downs and random stops and even loops that threw him off-kilter, but they’re here now. From strangers to fiancés. From ‘just friends’ to ‘soon married.’ He’s waited a long time for this, faced the world alone for too long, and almost gave up on finding the one. But he’s here now, with his world in his arms, and he figures that there’s a truth in the saying that good things come to those who wait.

There’s another saying that all roads lead to Rome. But Junmyeon thinks that not really, because for him, all roads lead back home, and home is here, in Kyungsoo’s arms. And while he experienced numerous heartaches, a lot of berating, a failed fling, a fuckton of confusion, and generally painful (seemingly) unrequited pining, he’s home now. It was a long journey, one that made him accumulate so many baggages, but now he’s home. He can put down his baggage and breathe easy again, for he is back home, with Kyungsoo. For good.

 

> _Group: **KIM FAM 4 LYF**_
> 
> **myeontokki** : public service announcement  
>  **myeontokki** : seoul’s most eligible bachelor is officially off the market  
>  **minseokkim** : ?  
>  **jongnini** : ??  
>  **luhannie** : ???  
>  **jongdaerulez** : ??????  
>  **dohkyungsoo** : hi  
>  **jongdaerulez** : OH MY GOD  
>  **jongdaerulez** : FUCKING FINALLY  
>  **jongnini** : YAAAAAAY KYUNGMYEON  
>  **queensoojung** : HELL YEAH  
>  **luhannie** : MY BABY’S ALL GROWN UP  
>  **heize** : another psa jongdae is ugly crying rn also CONGRATS  
>  **minseokkim** : welcome to the fam, kyungsoo <3  
>  **dohkyungsoo** : thank you everyone ^^  
>  **jongnini** : so hyung how does it feel that u r now a kim-in-law  
>  **dohkyungsoo** : best feeling in the world  
>  **myeontokki** : >////<  
>  **jongdaerulez** : I’M ENGAGED YET AFTER THAT EXCHANGE I FELT INCREDIBLY SINGLE HOW THE HELL  
>  **minseokkim** : same???  
>  **jongnini** : same???  
>  **queensoojung** : negl same  
>  **heize** : same  
>  **luhannie** : same  
>  **myeontokki** : NOW U ALL KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE THE ONLY SINGLE PERSON IN THE GROUP  
>  **jongdaerulez** : oh no i just realized  
>  **jongdaerulez** : we lost our token bachelor  
>  **jongdaerulez** : what to do now
> 
> _myeontokki removed jongdaerulez from the chat_


End file.
